


You're All I Want, so Bring Me the Dawn

by thisdorkyficthing



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alpha!Thor, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Loki, Emotional Baggage, Falling In Love, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Intersex Loki, M/M, Past Abuse, omega!Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:12:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5800267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisdorkyficthing/pseuds/thisdorkyficthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki grew up being told that the bond between an omega and an alpha was unbreakable.</p>
<p>Well, that's a lie. A big fat lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Throwing another WIP on the pile because I apparently can't stress myself out _enough._

Loki grew up being told that the bond between an omega and an alpha was unbreakable.

Well, that's a lie. A big fat lie.

He's read the stories from other omegas that are eerily similar to his own. He feels the bond between him and Svadilfari eroding from his blood everyday. The heavy weight that had kept him down since he was barely eighteen lifting off him.

It's been just over a year since he got away. Running away one night after another year of making plans(and waffling on them), slipping in to the passenger seat of an almost complete stranger's car and feeling safer there than in the place that he'd called "home."

Apart from how he feels, he notices now how alphas perk up around him more, interest dimming only when they move in closer and can sniff out the hint of mark still on him. Although lately he's been noticing that that has been happening less and less, which is terrifying. At least with the asshole he never had to worry about any other alphas bothering him.

He does wonder - especially when he's just come down from a heat - if he'll ever find someone else. It's hard for him to imagine ever being able to trust another person to have that sort of power and hold over him, but at the same time, he can't imagine spending the rest of his life completely alone. And that thought brings up another: Would another even _want_ him? Omegas who've lost their mate through death, the "respectable" way, are still generally thought of as _used goods_.

Maybe Svadilfari will always have that hold on him.

Goddammit, this is what he goes to therapy for.

Loki takes a deep breath and forces himself to focus on the task before him and not his spiraling thoughts, picking up the plate set on the ledge between the kitchen and the dining area, smiling nicely as he places it in front of the polite old man in a trucker hat that sits at the counter. He's a cook at the diner, officially, but since one of the waitresses - another omega trying to dig herself out a bad bond like himself - had to make a hasty move after being tracked down by her alpha, Loki has been filling in. The patrons at this time in the evening skew older, meaning the place is fairly quiet and relaxed.

But then the bell above the door rings and the air in the place changes.    
Loki's spine goes rigid as the scent hits his nose, head shooting up to look to the door(along with a number of diners doing the same). The guy that walks in looks like a picture-perfect alpha, that's for sure, with his broad shoulders pulled back and confident posture making him seem even bigger than he already is. His tanned skin has a sheen of drying sweat, with smudges of dirt and a layer of saw dust on his muscled arms. His long, blond hair is pulled back messily at the nape of his neck. His boots clomp as he strolls up and takes an open stool in front of the counter, aiming a friendly smile at Loki.

Loki feels as though as he though he should be scared of this guy, and there is just a little fear lurking around, but more than that he wants to move closer, inhale more his strong scent and let himself be wrapped in it. He shakes himself when he realizes he's been staring at the guy for a full minute. He walks up, grabbing a menu from under the counter and placing it down in front of him.

"Can I get you a drink?" Loki asks, voice a touch unsteady.

The man's crystal blue eyes flick down to the menu, sliding up the length of Loki's torso before they make it back to his face. "I'll just start with some water. And where might the bathroom be?" he asks, holding up his dirtied hands.

Loki nods, quickly taking in the length and shape of the man's fingers, the callouses and tiny scars with his mouth hanging open. He snaps it closed and he points to the far end of the diner. Loki watches him as he gets up and walks away, the noise of the room starting to come back to his ears now that his senses aren't being overwhelmed by him.

"Are you going to be okay serving him?"

Loki jumps as Darcy's voice snaps him the rest of the way out of this haze, breathing hard and pressing a hand to his chest as he looks down at her. "What?"

"Do you need me to serve that guy?" she asks in a whisper so the other customers can't hear.

Loki shakes his head and clears his throat. "No, I've got it."

"You sure?" she asks quietly, "you look a little freaked."

"It's fine," Loki assures with another shake of his head. "Just a little caught off guard."

She looks at him for a moment before she nods. "Tag me in if you need to, okay?"

"Okay."

Loki gets the guy his water, shoving a lemon wedge on the plastic rim before dealing with a couple of the other customers. He comes back from the bathroom ten minutes later, his scent less overwhelming, skin free of debris and his hairline a little damp.

"Sorry," he says to Loki as he sits back on his stool, "I would've went home and showered, but I didn't get lunch today and I am starving."

Loki smiles a little, his head still swimming. "It's fine."

Loki catches himself staring (again) as he sucks down half the huge glass of water in one pull and looks over the menu. Another customer has to clear his throat to get Loki's attention, a regular that gives Loki a knowing smirk as he pays his bill and tells him to have a good night. Loki finds himself blushing when notices a couple more of the regulars are also glancing between the two of them, turning away to fiddle with the cutlery until he hears another throat clear.

It's him. Loki walks the small distance between them, feeling the world narrow as he does. "Yes?"

"Do you guys still serve breakfast or...?"

"All day," Loki replies, breathless in his own ears. He pulls the pad and pen out from the pocket of his apron. Loki knows already what he's going to order.

His eyes travel down Loki's body, his whole body giving a jerk when he catches himself and brings his gaze back to Loki's face. "I'd like the Four of Everything, then. With a side hash browns. And some coffee," he says, handing Loki the menu over the counter.

Loki smiles to himself, jotting down his order before shoving the menu back under the counter. Exactly what he thought.

"And more water, please," he adds, giving the cup a shake to jostle around the ice in it.

"Coming right up," Loki says, taking the glass as he spins away. Setting it down he tears off the sheet and hangs it on the order wheel, spinning it towards the cooks. "One alpha breakfast special with hash browns," he calls out in the kitchen, resisting the urge to look back before he refills his water and then grabs a clean mug, filling it with steaming coffee. The guy is grinning when Loki turns around and sets the drinks down before him.

"Is that what it's really called or are you just messing with me?" he asks Loki as he pours sugar and cream in to his mug.

"That _is_ what we call it," Loki says as one of the cooks rings the bell and calls out a different order, "since only big, strapping alphas with massive appetites ever order it."

The guy laughs, biting his lip as he smiles, eyes raking over Loki again shamelessly. Loki feels the skin on his face and neck go hot, unable to reign in his smile or the flutter in his belly. He turns away again, picking up the plates and handing them off to Darcy.

Loki can hardly believe himself. He's getting all fucking giddy. Alphas always make him feel nervous, knowing all too well what they could do to him if the right (or wrong) mood struck, and here he was practically flirting with one who just walked in.

"What's your name?" the guy asks as Loki scurries around behind the counter, more customers paying and filing out for the evening lull.  
Loki stops with a stack of dirty dishes in his hand. He doesn't have a name tag on his shirt, and he's been giving out fake names any time it wasn't absolutely necessary. "Loki," he says after a moment. He spies 

Darcy's surprised look out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm Thor," he replies. His smile is so easy, so warm and inviting Loki just wants to fall into it.

Oh god, _what was he doing_.

"I'll be right back," he rasps, shuffling backwards towards the door to the kitchen. Thor's smile falls just slightly, his face twisting a little in confusion.

Loki takes a few huge breaths when the door swings shut behind him, the smell of old grease manging to clear his head a little.

"You okay?" one of the other cooks asks.

Loki nods quickly. "Yeah. It's nothing. I'm fine."

The man raises an eyebrow and shrugs, back to flipping pancakes. 

Loki dumps the dishes in a sink in the back. He takes a few more breaths before heading out front.

Thor's eyes dart to him over the rim of the coffee mug, following Loki as he moves around and tries to get a fucking grip. The bell behind him dings, the cook calling out Thor's order. Loki scoops up the plates, setting them down on the counter while Thor moves his drinks out of the way. Loki doesn't pause before turning away to grab a small pot of maple syrup for the pancakes and sets that in front of Thor too.

"I'm sorry," Thor says, grabbing the syrup and pouring it over the stack on his plate.

Loki shakes his head. "Don't be. I-" Loki stammers, mind tripping over the ways he can explain without actually explaining. "Don't worry about it, seriously."

Loki freezes as Thor searches his face. Then, he leans a little closer, nostrils flaring as he sniffs at the air in front of Loki. "Oh, you have a mate," he says as he lets out a short, quiet laugh. "I'm sorry. I must've missed it earlier."

Loki frowns before he can catch it. Thor looks confused again, eyebrows turning down at the corners. Loki turns away, walking fast to the kitchen door.

Loki runs to their tiny breakroom at the left side of the kitchen, sitting down in a rickety chair and putting his head in his hands. The skin on the back of his neck is hot, prickling with shame.

The kitchen door swings open and Darcy comes in. "Loki?"

"Breakroom," one of the cooks answers.

Loki's shoulders bunch as he hears her quiet footsteps get closer. "Are you okay? Did he say something?"

Loki lets out a small, flat sounding laugh and lifts his head. "No and no. He's fine, I'm just... I don't know."

Darcy frowns.

"Sorry," Loki says. "You didn't kick him out, did you?"

Darcy barks out a laugh at that. "That guy? There would need to be, like, at least seven of me to even try."

Loki laughs too, nodding in agreement.

"He's just eating and looking kinda confused at the door."

Loki sighs and runs his hands over his face. "God, I'm so fucking _stupid_."

Darcy doesn't acknowledge his bit of self-loathing. "Do you want me to serve him? There aren't many people here right now so you can just stay in here until he goes. I'll tell him you aren't feeling well or something."

The offer is tempting. Loki licks his lips and weighs his options. But hiding until he goes away makes him feel even stupider than he already does, so he shakes his head and stands from the chair. "No, I got it."

Darcy huffs, following him back out to the diner.

Thor looks up as Loki walks out the kitchen door, smiling around a mouthful of food. Loki walks straight to him, speaking before he wimps out or Thor swallows the hunk of pancakes he's got in mouth. 

"Sorry for being so weird," he blurts out, hands tapping on the countertop. "It's not your fault, honestly. So, anyway, how's your food?"

Thor chews a bit more and swallows before answering. "Wonderful."

"Good," Loki says nodding his and turning away. He takes clean cutlery from a plastic bin, stacking it neatly - butterknife, fork, spoon - and wraps it in a napkin, setting it in another bin so they'll be ready for the dinner rush. He feels Thor's eyes on him the entire time.

"Can I get a refill on my coffee?" Thor asks, voice soft.

"Of course," Loki says, voice pitched high and shaky as he grabs the pot and brings it over. Thor chews his lip as he watches Loki, like he's debating himself over something.

"Did you lose them?" he asks in a husky whisper.

"I can only hope," slips from Loki's lips before he can think better of it. He cringes.

Thor's brows scrunch and Loki turns away with a forced cough and shove the coffee pot back on to the warmer. Thor eats the rest of his meal in silence, only glancing to Loki, and leaves Loki a hefty tip before going. Loki's watches as he walks through the gravel parking lot to a shiny pickup truck, feeling hopeless as he climbs in to it and drives away.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki scratches hard at the back of his neck with blunt fingernails. He's been itchy since last night. Since Thor. It's the kind of itch he gets at the beginning of a heat; deep under his skin, tingling and unreachable. _But he just fucking had one last month._

He snarls, raking his nails over his skin once more before forcing his hand down to his side. Hate for his biology flares up hotter than any heat has made him feel. It's why he ended up with Svadilfari in the first place. It's why he couldn't get away from him for so goddamn long. He has no control over himself, when it comes down to it. His body compels him to roll over and beg for the first alpha that comes fucking waltzing along.

He clamps his eyes shut and squeezes his hands in to fists as he counts to ten in his head. He takes deep breathes. He's standing just beside the back exit of the diner, the heavy, warm breeze thankfully blowing the smell of the dumpster away from him. He opens his eyes and looks out at the small lot that sits behind it, an abandoned, rusted-out car sitting in the corner farthest from the building.

He should try to not hate the things he has no control over. That's what Sigyn, another omega that escaped an abusive alpha, always tells him. He hasn't been trying real hard, though.

He checks his phone and walks back inside when he realizes his break is nearly over, walking back out to the diner and wipes down the counter.

He doesn't pay attention when he hears a car pulling in. He looks up when the bell rings, canned greeting dying on his tongue when he sees that it's Thor.

He's cleaned up tonight. His hair is wet and combed back in to a neat ponytail at the nape, wearing a dark black t-shirt and jeans that are clear of sweat or any evidence of his job.

"Hey," he says, a soft smile on his face as he walks up and takes the same stool as he did yesterday. His scent is mostly hidden under strong cologne and soap.

"Hey," Loki parrots back at him, the itch under his skin flaring and making him fidget. "What can I get you?"

"Just water, please."

Loki nods and complies, filling a big, plastic cup with ice and water before his trembling fingers jam a lemon wedge on to the rim. He puts on a smile as he sets the glass down in front of Thor, reaching down to grab a menu out from under the counter only to have Thor raise a finger to stop him.

"I think I'll just have what I had yesterday, actually," Thor says.

"Okay. Sure." Loki nods, scribbling the order down before calling it out to the kitchen.

There's not many people here at the moment, just a handful quietly finishing there meals at the booths, and no one else at the counter apart from Thor. Loki wants to ask what he's doing here, but it feels too risky, so instead he tries to busy himself with other little tasks. 

There's tension in the air. He waits for Thor to speak first.

"I'm sorry," Thor says after the silence drags on for a while.

Loki turns from where he was mindlessly re-stacking clean cups, eyes darting around the room. Darcy's looking over his way, her eyebrows raised, the question in the expression obvious. He gives her a small smile to let her knows he's okay. He's not sure if he is, really, but Thor hasn't made him feel unsafe yet - not anymore than Loki always feels - but he doesn't want to cause a scene when it's unnecessary. He steps closer, leaning on the counter a foot or so away from Thor.

"Why?" Loki asks, running his fingertip over a scratch in the otherwise smooth finish of the wood.

Thor shifts in his seat as he runs the pad of his thumb in the condensation coating his cup, shrugs a broad shoulder. "I should have gone home and cleaned up first. Been less... I dunno... pushy."

Loki lets out a bark of laughter, earning a few curious glances from everyone in the room. He clears his throat, still smiling in amusement as he blocks the side of his face with his hand. " _Pushy?_ " he says, voice low so no one else can here him, "I've seen alphas being _pushy_ \- you were not being pushy."

Thor opens his mouth to speak but only a frustrated noise falls out, his arms thrown out in a defeated gesture and shoulders drooping. "I did something. I don't know what it was, but I want to apologize for it."  
Loki stares at Thor, a little wide-eyed, and stands. "It wasn't anything you did, honestly."

Thor doesn't look convinced and Loki grumbles in annoyance, pushing back the locks of hair that hang around his face, free from the bun that the rest of it is tightly pulled in. "Oh for fucks sake, I'm not going to tell you why I freaked out, will you just believe me when I say it wasn't because of _you!?_ "

Loki's shoulders stiffen in an instant, eyes clamping shut as he waits for the outrage at an omega talking back to an alpha. He can't imagine Thor would hit him, since that's generally frowned upon around here, but he expects a reminder of his place. Some growling, maybe. Something.

"Okay," is all Thor says, quiet and soft. Loki reels harder than if he'd actually reached over and hit him.

"Guess I'm more stubborn than pushy," Thor adds with a small, sheepish smile. "So, um, sorry for _that_."

Loki stares at him, blinking owlishly as the tension in his body releases. He jumps when Thor's order is called out behind him. He turns away, using the opportunity to catch his breath as he balances the plates in his hands, carefully delivering them to Thor.

He wishes Thor came at a busier time, just so he could have something to do besides standing around feeling stupid. Thor eats his food, his eyes following Loki's movements here and there. The tickle under Loki's skin intensifies, makes him sweat. He tries to keep his back to Thor most of the time, hunching his shoulders like he used to when Svadilfari was in a mood. They don't speak anymore, aside from what's expected.

Thor gives Loki another small, kind smile as he pays and leaves the diner. Loki finds another large tip hidden under one of his cleared off plates.

Loki's left feeling shaken and flushed for the rest of the night.

 

*        *        *

 

Loki fidgets at one side of the couch. Dr. Romanov sits quietly at the other side, letting him squirm in silence for the first ten minutes of their session.

"So... What happened?"

Loki exhales in a huff. "Nothing."

He glances over to her as soon as the word falls out of his mouth. He expects the look on her face. The slight arch of an eyebrow, the little smirk on full, painted lips that says "bullshit" without any words.

"I mean _technically_ nothing happened. We just had an alpha come in to the diner the other day and... I don't know - I just can't fucking function like a normal fucking person, that's all."

"Loki," she admonishes, gently.

Loki sighs. He closes his eyes, taking a couple of breathes before clarifying. "He didn't do anything, but the first night he came in he'd come right from wherever he worked and he was all _sweaty_ -"

"Ah, I see."

"Yeah," Loki breathes. He wrings his hands in his lap and gnaws on a piece of dry skin on his lip.

"You said 'the _first_ night he came in'..." she leads, and Loki can hear the question in her voice.

"He only came two nights. That first one and then the next to apologize to me."

The doctor's eyebrows shoot up in pleasant surprise at that.

Here comes the shameful, embarrassing confession of the day. He looks away from her, squeezing one hand with the other as he forces out, "I keep thinking about him."

"In what way?" she asks, perfectly devoid of judgment. Or any emotion at all, really.

Loki chews on his lip harder, squeezes his hands in the rhythm of the ticking clock on the wall. "A lot of ways."

She nods her head slowly, jotting down a note on the file in her lap. "Any ways you feel like you want to talk to me about?"

"I kind of yelled at him the night he came to apologize," he explains, "he kept insisting that he must've done something to upset me and I snapped when he wouldn't just _believe me_ when I told him that he hadn't. And he was- He didn't-" Loki's tongue get's tied, forcing his hands apart to make a vague gesture.

"He didn't get angry?" Dr. Romanov suggests.

"Yeah," Loki lets out in a shaky breath. "I didn't expect that."

"That's good."

"Yeah," Loki repeats, nodding a little.

"Anything else?"

He swallows. His throat is a bit dry and he leans over to grab the glass of water Dr. Romanov set out for him when he first came in, drinking half of it down in one go. He sets it back and rubs his hands over his thighs, trying to sort out his thoughts and put them in to the least embarrassing assortment of words possible. Dr. Romanov just waits for him, patient and quiet.

"I keep thinking about _him_ ," Loki finally croaks out. His scent, his eyes, his size, his smile...

She nods. "That's understandable. You've been away from Svadilfari long enough that your body is reacting to the pheromones of alphas more strongly to urge you to find another mate. I'd imagine encountering one whose scent was especially strong would cause a more intense reaction."

Loki glowers at the glass of water, his hands balling in to fists on his thighs. "I hate it."

She just nods again.

"How do I stop?" he asks(pleads, more like) a minute later, looking to Dr. Romanov.

"Give it time," she says with shrug. "I'm sure it'll only take a few more days, at the most."

 

*        *        *

 

A few days later finds Loki still thinking about Thor. _A lot_. He hasn't come back to the diner in that time, and somehow that completely guts Loki.

Then - as if he was reading Loki's freaking thoughts - Thor walks through the door.

He smiles at Loki, giving him a lazy wave from the hip and sits at one of the open booths. Loki stares, dumbfounded, and watches as Darcy cautiously walks up to hand him a menu. Thor aims his smile at her and asks for coffee. Loki shuffles up next to her when she comes back behind the counter.

"Do you want to serve him?" she asks, "I mean, he's kind of your guy."

Loki swallows, his throat dry. He shakes his head a little. "He sat in a booth for a reason, you have him. He tips well, too."

Darcy still looks uneasy, but gives a little nod of her head and scoops up the coffee pot before walking back to Thor's booth.

Thor is sat with his back is to Loki. Loki can't stop glancing at the back of his head and studying his face in the transparent reflection on the window as he eats. He gets so distracted that he spills another customer's drink from not paying attention to where his flailing hands are going. The small commotion catches Thor's attention and when he twists around to look, their eyes meet. Loki's stupid heart skips a beat.

Their gazes lock again when Thor leaves, neither of them breaking it until Thor backs in to the door and his hand misses the knob. Loki bursts out in a fit of giggles(actual fucking _giggles_ \- Darcy is never going to let that go) while Thor practically blushes, stammering out a goodnight and nearly tripping as he steps out the door.

Loki can't stop giggling, even minutes after Thor leaves, biting his lip hard to try to keep them at bay. He can't even banish them when Darcy saunters behind the counter with a look on her face that would aggravate him any other time.

"Shut up," he says before she has the chance to open her mouth.

She snickers and nudges his side with her elbow. "Look at you, being all smiley and cute with the big, _handsome_ alpha."

" _Shut up_ ," he orders(whines). But his smile is relentless. His cheeks ache. He doesn't remember the last time he's smiled this much.

"Loki and Thor sittin' in a tree," she sings, keeping her voice low and knocking her hip into him. " _K-i-s-s-i-n-g._ "

" _Stop_." Loki's face has gone from warm to hot, eyes darting around the diner to see a few pairs of eyes looking their way.

Darcy laughs, grabbing an order as one of the cooks sets it out. "You should ask for his number, just saying."

Loki bites his lip as she walks away, rubbing the sides of his neck with both hands, mind whirling at the thought of actually doing that.

One of the other customers waves their hand in the air to catch his attention. "Excuse me?"

Loki's head snaps up, clearing his throat(and his head) as he forces himself to focus.


	3. Chapter 3

It's Friday and the diner is busier than usual. Thor comes in just before eight, the time he's shown up at just about every night for almost two weeks now, freshly showered and smiling. He waves to Loki and takes one of the tables since his usual booth has been commandeered by a small family. He and Loki haven't actually spoken since the second time he came in. Loki's too nervous to go beyond the short greetings they exchange as Thor comes and goes, even with all the teasing about it from Darcy.

With the place being so packed and being short-staffed, Loki's covering some of the tables along with the counter. One of those being the one Thor is now sitting in, of course. The skin of his neck prickles with nerves as he grabs a menu and heads to where Thor sits.

Thor beams at him as he approaches, sitting up straighter in his seat.

"Hey."

"Hi," Loki replies, tucking a lock of hair that slipped from the bun he put it in behind his ear and hands the menu to Thor.

Thor takes it, flipping it open without looking away from Loki and asks, "how are you?"

Loki shrugs. "Good, you?"

"Good," Thor says with a nod of his head.

Loki clears his throat and looks down at the floor when he realizes they've been staring at each other in silence. "So, what can I get you to drink?"

Thor spares a brief glance at the menu, flipping it to the back to look at the drink list before looking back up at Loki. "Lemonade sounds good."

"Okay," Loki says, slightly breathless from being so close to Thor after what feels like so long. He smells good too. No cologne tonight, only the fading smell of soap mingles with his scent. "I'll be right back."

Loki bites his lip to try and stifle his smile as he walks back behind the counter to get Thor's drink, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice and lemonade. He bounces with each step as he brings it to Thor, his hands unable to keep still after he sets the glass down. Thor's eyes follow his every move and shamelessly take their fill of him. There's a hint of hunger in his expression, and his smile comes off slightly more wolfish for it, but somehow it doesn't make Loki nervous. Well, it does make him a little nervous - but he has to fight back the urge to twist and pose his body to look more appealing.

Loki clears his throat and laughs at himself, his hand coming up to knead the crook of his neck as he asks, "do you know what you want to eat?"

Thor's eyes are glued to Loki's hand, eyes glazing over at the question. He shakes himself and clears his throat. "Um, yeah I do..." He hums and looks down at the menu, seeming to have to fight with himself to keep focused. He laughs after a moment of his eyes wandering over the words, closing the menu and handing it back to Loki. "I'll just have a burger and fries... or whatever."

Loki laughs again, the sound of it strange in his own ears. "Burger and fries _or whatever_ ," Loki repeats, tucking the menu under his arm before writing down the largest burger they offer. "Coming right up."

Loki sees how Thor's eyes fall lower as he turns, his face going warm. Loki feels Thor's gaze on him as he serves other customers, the feeling making him simultaneously want to hide and strut around. He has a moment where he berates himself for only having baggy clothes, a more logical voice chiming in with the fact that Thor doesn't seem to really mind.

Thor's order gets called out behind him, his stomach doing cartwheels as he picks up the loaded plate and walks back over to Thor's table. Thor smiles at him so brightly that Loki feels his own mouth curving in to painfully big one of it's own.

"Thanks," he says as Loki sets the plate down in front of him.

"You're welcome. Need anything else?"

Thor opens his mouth, a sound falling past his lips before he snaps his mouth shut.

Loki's eyebrows lift in question. "What?"

Thor chuckles, shaking his head as he replies with "nothing. I was just... never mind."

"Well, if you need something, just wave," Loki says, moving to another table when a different costumer calls him over.

His - along with about everyone else in the diner's - attention gets pulled to the parking lot when a car comes squealing in minutes later, gravel flying as the driver parks it sloppily. Darcy and Loki share a look as the guy gets out, and Darcy jogs off to the back office where the owner is. Loki's spine goes stiff as the young man comes tromping in. A young alpha, just about Loki's height, with ruddy brown hair and a slightly above average build. Probably getting ready for a rowdy night out.

He glances around before he catches on Loki's scent, eyes lighting up and zeroing in as he prowls forward to take a seat at the counter. Loki takes a half-step back automatically, his presence overwhelming him in a way that makes his smile fall and his shoulders hunch up to his ears. Parents tuck their kids a little closer even as they try to act like nothing is going on, their eyes flickering his way.

There's the small screech of wood on the linoleum floor, and from the corner of his eyes Loki sees Thor has angled himself away from his table, eyes narrowed dangerously at the other alpha.

Loki clears his throat and forces himself to move forward, grabbing a menu and placing it in front of him while keeping as far as possible. "Would you like something to drink?"

He doesn't answer, taking the time to leer at Loki instead. Loki hugs himself, digging his fingers in to the backs of his arms. Harvey, the owner, comes out from the back with Darcy. He's an alpha too, long ago paired off and old enough to not be particularly threatening, but he's still got a big and imposing presence when he needs it.

"We're not going to have a problem here, are we?" he asks.

The alpha finally tears his gaze away from Loki, smiling sharply at his boss. "Of course not, sir," he says, the words biting. "I'm just here to get some dinner. Is that a problem?"

Harvey tilts his head, crossing his large arms as he leans against the doorway. Their eyes meet, challenging one another. Aside from the chatter of the few children in the place, the place is silent, the air thick with the tension. Some pretend that they're not waiting for something to happen, while a few are more blatant, barely blinking as they wait for the scene to unfold.

The young alpha laughs, shaking his head as he looks back to Loki, eyes sliding up and down his body again. "I'll have a soda, sweetheart. Go light on the ice."

Loki's jaw clenches at the pet name, arms jerking back down to his sides as he turns away. He gets the guy's drink with trembling hands - fear and rage surging through him - and he can't quite reign it in when he sets it down in front of him.

"Come on, sweetheart," he says, voice laced with an over the top sweetness, "you don't have to be afraid of me."

There's grinding in his ears as he spits back, "don't fucking call me sweetheart."

The smile falls and the alpha's face twitches. Loki's stomach drops to his feet, an icy sweat blooming over the surface of his skin. His hand snaps out before Loki has the time to move and his arm gets caught in a death-grip just above the wrist, squeezing tight enough to bruise. Panic makes everything in to a blur, legs buckling under as soon as Loki tries to yank himself away. Past the wild thumping of his heart there's stomping and yelling, a deep growl that makes him cry out and clamp his eyes shut. As soon as the grip on his forearm rescinds he feels smaller hands grabbing him by the underarms and dragging him back.

He stumbles backwards in to the kitchen with Darcy as the cooks rush past them out to the front, crying and shaking hard all over. Darcy manages to guide him in to the break room before he collapses back on to the floor, plopping down behind him with an " _oof_ " and putting his head on her shoulder. She chants "you're okay, you're okay," over and over.

Loki shakes his head vigorously, throat not working. Not okay. Not okay _at-fucking-all_.

She pulls him closer, shushing him as she rubs a hand up and down his back.

It takes minutes for Loki finally calms down enough to sit up. Darcy offers him the box of tissues off the small break room table, and Loki takes a few, sniffling as he dries off his face.

Harvey, followed by the cooks, walk in a minute later, still looking a bit tense. The diner has gone quiet again, Loki notices.

"You okay?" he asks, hands in his hips, jerking his chin to Loki.  
Loki looks down at his arm and shrugs instead of answering. He doesn't feel okay.

"That other guy is still outside, should I tell him to leave?"

Loki looks back up at his boss. "Thor?"

"Blond guy? Yeah," Harvey chuckles, "that bastard is fast. He was on that guy before I could take a step."

Loki's legs are unsteady under him when he stands. "Is he all right?"

"Looks like he got a little scratched up by the other guy, nothing too terrible."

Loki darts past him and out in to the diner. Most have stayed despite the whole thing, but a few seemed to have run off. He sees Thor's pickup in the parking lot, but his table is empty, food hardly touched. The air still has the scent of two alphas clinging to it, the tingle that goes down his spine setting Loki's teeth on edge. He walks out the front door, the bell chiming above his head, and sees Thor leaning against the corner of the building. From where he stands Loki can see that Thor's hair is in a tangled mess, a few finger-shaped smears on his arms, and one of the sleeves of his t-shirt is ripped at the shoulder along the seem.

Loki jogs down the steps, heart leaping as Thor's scent hits him full on when he gets closer. Thor's head snaps his way when his shoes crunch on the gravel, shoulders dropping as he pushes from the wall. His nose is swelling, drying blood coating his facial hair and lips from his nostrils to his chin.

"Are you okay?"

Thor glances down at himself, shrugging. "Yeah. This is mostly his," he chuckles as he gestures to the blood spattered on his shirt.

"What about your nose," Loki points out.

Thor sniffs, touching the swelling bridge gingerly. "Oh, well... I've had worse."

"Can I get you some ice?" Loki offers. "You've still got your food in there too."

Thor's smile wanes, eyes flicking over the front of the diner. "I should probably go, actually. I'm still a little too worked up to be around a lot of people right now."

Loki frowns.

Thor takes a step closer, a hand moving as though to reach for him, before seeming to think better of it and stepping back. "Is your arm okay?"

He looks down at his forearm, at the bruises already darkening the skin below his wrist. Loki realizes then that he's been cradling his arm in the other one. The entire thing is sore, and on top of that he's probably going to have a headache for the rest of the night - among other things. "I've had worse too," Loki replies, voice light. He hopes for a laugh but Thor looks sad instead.

"You sure you don't want ice?" Loki asks, the words spilling out in half breath.

"It'll be fine until I get home."

Loki opens his mouth, knowing he should say or do something but not knowing what that is.

Thor figures it out for him. Clearing his throat, he asks, "can I give you my phone number?"

Loki's mouth opens again, a smile forming despite everything else that just happened.

"I've been trying to find the right time to give it to you, and what better time than with a big, bloody nose?" Thor says, laughing softly as he gestures to his face.

Loki laughs too, feeling a little lighter again. "Um, yeah. Sure."

Thor smiles. "You have anything to write on?"

Loki pulls out the pad from from his apron, clicking the pen before handing them over to Thor. Thor bites his lip as he writes, handing both back to Loki a second later. Loki's belly flutters as he looks down and the hard lines of Thor's writing, the numbers clear and block-y.

" _Oh_ -" Thor jolts a little, reaching in to his pocket for his wallet. "I need to pay for my food."

Giving a dismissive wave of his hand, he says, "don't worry about it."

"I can't just-"

"It's fine," Loki insists, "you barely even ate any of it."

Thor looks like he has to force himself not to argue about it. "Okay."

Neither of them move for what feels like an eternity.

"So, yeah... I should probably go now." Thor chuckles, scratching behind his ear. Loki forces himself to stay put as Thor shuffles away, each backwards step slow and careful. "Call me sometime... Just whenever, you know, just to talk. Or if you need something built," he says with a gesture towards the mostly empty bed of his truck. He looks over his shoulder and makes a face. "That offer would probably make more sense if I actually had my tools in there still."

Loki laughs, nodding. "Probably."

"I build things, just to clarify."

Loki nods. "I got that."

"Good," Thor says, bumping in to the side of his truck. "Glad that's clear."

Loki is somehow grinning, feeling almost as good as he had before the whole incident. It helps that Thor looks just as handsome with a swollen, bloody nose as he does without.

"I hope the rest of your night is better," Thor says as he opens the driver's side door, looking reluctant to climb inside.

"I hope yours is too," Loki replies.

Thor's broad smile turns in to a wince, touching his nose carefully. He sighs, climbing behind the wheel and hanging on to the handle of the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Thor shuts the door and Loki keeps watching as Thor starts it up and pulls out, waving back when Thor waves through the window. Loki takes a deep breath as he turns on to the street, the truck disappearing behind a hill moments later. He looks at the pad in his hand, at the little innocuous string of numbers written at the bottom of the slip of paper. He's still shaken up, and he's probably going to spend most of the night crying, but at least he has this.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki's head rests on the back of the couch, face aimed up at the ceiling of Dr. Romanov's office. It's one of those tiled ones with the little holes in it. It makes him kind of itchy.

"How's the arm?"

Loki hums, rubbing his hand over his forearm where the sleeve of his shirt hides the fading bruises. "Okay."

"And how's the rest of you?"

Loki takes a moment to think of it over. "Better than expected?"

The doctor lets out a pleasantly surprised hum at his answer.

"I mean, the night it happened was rough, and I've had a few nightmares, and when I look at my arm I feel kind of sick but... I don't know, I haven't been jumping at every noise or, like, constantly crying. I feel pretty normal." He resists the urge to laugh at himself.

"I'm glad to hear that." He listens to her write something down. Her writing sounds smooth, he can hear the loops. He soaks in the quiet for a couple minutes, which seems kind of silly since he has all the quiet he wants at his apartment and he pays (a relatively small amount, but still) for the time, but it somehow seems a little more structured with his doctor beside him. And, she lets him.

"What about the situation with Thor?"

He sucks in a deep breath, the air whistling through the spaces between his teeth. He's pretty sure a major reason that he hasn't been a useless lump is because his brain has been on overdrive debating itself on whether to call Thor or not. His stomach is turning in to knots over it.

"He gave you his phone number, right?"

"Yeah," he sighs.

"Have you tried calling?"

He shakes his head and his hair rustles against the upholstery. "It's too soon for me to start dating, or whatever you want to call it," he says, lifting his head to look over at her. "Right?"

Dr. Romanov shrugs, bright red hair shifting on her shoulders at the movement. "I can't decide that for you."

Loki huffs, letting his head fall back. "I kind of wish you could."

She lets out a small snort at that. "That's only because you're having a hard time with it."

He groans, rubbing his hands up and down his face. "I kind of want to, but..." He tenses, swallowing thickly as adrenaline courses through him at the thought of actually picking up the phone.

"You're scared."

"Yeah," he says, voice tight.

"What are you afraid will happen?"

"Well..." He takes a deep breath, holding it in his chest for a moment before releasing it slowly. "I'm afraid he'll turn out to be like Svadilfari."

"That's understandable," she says. "This time you have people who will help you get to safety if that's the case."

"I do," he sighs with a small nod of his head.

"What else?"

"That's kind of it."

"Are you sure?"

He clenches his jaw and stays quiet. She waits, watching the side of his face.

"He hasn't come back to the diner since Friday," he says, to fill the air and maybe distract Dr. Romanov. Harvey hired a couple new waitresses and now he's back in the kitchen so it wouldn't even matter. Loki just... kind of misses him. Dammit.

She only gives him a quiet hum in response.

The silence is kind of sucking now. He squirms under her scrutiny, lifting his head off the couch and hugging himself, pulling his feet closer until the backs of his ankles hit the couch. "I'm afraid I'll like him," he blurts out, his voice already wobbling.

"And why do you think that's scaring you?"

Loki lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders drooping and looking out the window a few feet from where they're sitting. "He's gonna freak out and run when he finds out about my whole... history."

"That's possible," she says, "and what if he doesn't?"

Loki scoffs.

"That question wasn't rhetorical, Loki," she says, voice firmer. "What if he doesn't run when he finds out about your past? Tell me what happens in that scenario."

He looks over at Dr. Romanov. Hands folded in her lap, she watches him with a look that says she'll wait all day for him to answer. He looks away and chews on his lip as he tries to think of something.

His mind's completely blank. "I don't know," he grits out.

"Can I tell you what I think?"

He shrugs as he looks back at her, watching her.

"You're afraid of getting in to another abusive relationship or possibly opening up to someone and being rejected," she starts, "which are both valid fears to have, but you're letting those get in the way of something that has the potential to be positive. I'd even put money on you being more scared of what would happen if both of those are untrue, which is at least part of why you can't even comprehend it."

Loki's hands curl in to the fabric of his shirt, anger flaring in his chest. "Why the fuck would I be more afraid of _that?_ "

"The thought of being happy can be scary," she says lightly, "especially when being miserable is all you really know."

Loki looks down at the coffee table in front of them, bouncing his foot to try and release some of his aggravation. She stays silent, letting Loki stew on her words. His thoughts are scattered, a jumbled, wordless mess that he can't really hope to verbalize. He gnaws on his nails, feeling ready to fly off the couch any second.

"So, you think I should call him," he says when he can manage to form a sentence once again.

"That's still up to you."

Loki lets out a frustrated growl, slamming back against the couch hard enough to make whole thing shake.

"Look, I don't know every detail about the interactions you two have had," she says, seeming unfazed by his little outburst, "but from where I'm sitting it sounds like he's got at least an inkling of _something_ and is letting you hold the reigns."

He looks over at her, anger whooshing out of him and leaving behind a nervous little flutter.

She gives him a small smile, a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. "That's what I think."

 

*        *        *

 

Loki paces the length of his tiny apartment, phone in hand. He comes to a stop in front of the sliding glass doors that lead to a little concrete patio and, beyond that, the fifteen foot wide strip of grass that separated the chain of buildings from a tall, chain-link fence. To someone on the outside it probably makes the place look like a prison, but Loki and, he had to assume, his neighbors(all of which are omegas and their children) like it more for that. There's a gate at the front of the whole complex, with a couple guards stationed at it at all times so there's someone there fast if there is an emergency.

He feels pretty safe here, despite being by himself.

But looking out past the fence, at the dense woods that are nothing but an ominous wall of shadows at this time of evening still makes him nervous - _more_ nervous - and he closes the curtains before resuming his pacing.

His palms sweat. His neck sweats. He just sweats all over. He looks down at his phone, his stomach doing cartwheels as his thumb hovers above the smooth screen.

He takes a deep breath, holding it for just a second before releasing it. His thumb is moving before he has the chance to stall any longer, mouthing the numbers as he taps on each one. He's had Thor's number memorized since the night he got it, which gets embarrassing when he thinks about it for too long.

He presses the phone to his ear, the fingers of his free hand twisting in to his hair as he feet move him faster, feet rustling across the carpet. At the second ring he worries that he's dialed the wrong number. The third he wonders if it's too late. _Fuck, he waited too long and he's already found someone else-_

"Hello?"

Loki jumps at the sound of Thor's voice, which is even deeper over the phone. In the background he hears chatter - women talking and laughing, by the sound of it. "Um, hi." His anxiousness is leaving him a little breathless, and it's obvious in his voice. "It's Loki."

"Oh, hey." Thor's voice is brighter. He hears Thor moving, wherever he is. There's some more giggling and unintelligible talking to go along with it, a few whistles, and then a door shuts and everything is quiet.

"Did I call at a bad time?" Loki's hand moves from his hair to the crook of his neck, kneading at the tight muscle.

" _No_ ," Thor's quick to answer, "no, it's fine. I'm just at my mom's place. She has some of her friends over and I'm trying to keep them from getting too rowdy, but I think I'm making it worse."

Loki laughs and then a few moments pass in silence. He bites his lip while he tries to figure out what to say next.

"So... hi," Thor starts, laughing a little. "How've you been?"

"Pretty good," he replies, "how's your nose?"

"Better," Thor says with a sniff, "still a little bruised, but pretty much back to normal. What about your arm?"

"Just a little bruised too."

"That's good to hear."

More seconds pass with nothing but dead air between them. It's making Loki tense up.

"I'm really glad you called," Thor says in a sigh.

Loki relaxes, shoulders sagging and sinking his weight on to one leg where he stands in the middle of his kitchenette. "I am too."

"Hi," Thor says again when they've managed to go another minute without speaking.

Loki walks sideways until he bumps in to the wall, leaning on to it and sliding down until he's on the floor, arm looping around his knees. "Hi." He wonders if he should just barf out his whole life story now, just to get it over with.

"I had all sorts of things to say planned out in my head, you know," Thor chuckles. "And I've forgotten all of it."

Loki's head falls forward, forehead resting on his knees, and he laughs again.

"Hi," Thor repeats.

Loki can hear the smile in his voice and he wonders if Thor can hear his too. "Hi."

"I could listen to you say 'hi' all night."

Loki giggles at that, his cheeks going warm.

"Your laugh's nice too," Thor adds.

Thor's voice swirls down his spine and settles somewhere in Loki's belly. He hears the door sliding open from Thor's end, women's voices barging in to their stilted conversation. He can swear that he hears one of them asking Thor " _did you ask him out yet?_ "

" _Augh_ , go away!"

Loki bursts out in laughter as he listens to the sound of Thor fighting back a bunch of older women, warning them that he's cutting them off as soon as he gets back inside. The door shuts and everything goes quiet again.

"Damn wine."

"Okay, seriously," Loki asks as he tries to collect himself, "what _are_ you doing there?"

" _Well_ ," Thor lets out in a groan that twists in to a sigh, "I came over because I couldn't decide if I should try going to the diner again - and I realize now that I could have probably called her and asked that but, _hindsight_." Thor chuckles. "Anyway, I had no idea that my mom was hosting some sort of knitting club meeting tonight... and that a knitting club meeting could involve _so_ little knitting and _so_ much drinking."

"Sounds like a fun party to crash."

"Oh, they are having a _grand_ time," Thor huffs.

"What did they think?"

"About what?"

"I assume you asked them what you should do."

Thor laughs. "Yeah... They kind of started interrogating me when they noticed the bruising and I told them the whole thing... They decided I should ask you out as soon as possible."

Loki's heart flutters wildly in his chest. He stretches his legs out before him, his fingers fiddling with a loose thread hanging off the hem of his shirt. "Are you going to?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Give it a shot." Loki bites his lip.

Thor sucks in a breath, clearing his throat as he exhales. "Would you like to go on a date with me sometime, Loki?"

The sudden burst of excitement has Loki wanting to jump to his feet and fly around the room and he just barely keeps himself keeps himself on the floor, bouncing his knees instead. "Yes I would," he answers through his massive grin.

"Awesome." Thor lets out a breathless laugh. "So, um, what would you like to-?"

"Did you have anything in mind?" Loki asks, hand tangled in to his hair.

"I was thinking dinner, or maybe lunch if you'd prefer," Thor replies, "or something else entirely, if you've got another idea."

"Lunch sounds nice," Loki says, folding his legs up again.

"Lunch it is then. When do you want to go?"

"I'm totally free on Sunday."

"Good- Great, I am too. How about I call you later so we can get all the details sorted out?"

Loki could scream. He can't believe he's actually doing this. This is actually happening. To him. He finally gets up from the floor, unable to hold still for a moment longer. He jumps in place, bare feet landing with muted thumps on the carpeted floor. "Sure. That sounds great." He breathless from the tiny bout of physical exertion and he reminds himself to use the complex's gym a little more often.

"Okay, awesome. I'll call you later then."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

They both laugh when a few seconds pass and neither one of them hangs up.

"On three?" Thor suggests.

"On three."

"Okay. One... two... _three_."

Loki's face scrunches, eyes squeezing shut as he ends the call. He looks down out his phone, hardly able to comprehend what just happened actually did. _He's going on a date_. Thor's gonna call him later so they can sort out the details of their _date_. He's sure he's never felt so giddy and _light_ in his sorry goddamn life.

He squeals and jumps up and down a few more times, even spinning in the air just because he fucking _wants_ to. His hands tremble as he goes to his contacts and calls Darcy at once.

She answers on the first. "Did you finally do it?"

"He asked me on a date!" Loki shouts back at her.

 

*        *        *

 

Thor grins at the screen of his phone, double (then triple) checking that he has the number saved before stuffing it back in to his pocket. He just barely forces his smile away before turning away from the lovely view the balcony of his mom's condo offers and back to the doors where she and her drunk-ass friends wait eagerly with their faces pressed to the glass.

He bats them back as he walks back inside, letting them stew in silence.

His mom raises her eyebrows at him. "Well?"

His mouth curls back in to the broad smile that really, desperately wants to be there. "We're going out on Sunday."

He laughs as they all whoop in unison. He feels himself blush as they proceed to congratulate him eagerly and more loudly than necessary. His mom is a little more subdued at least, sidling up to him and affectionately pinching his cheek as she winks. " _Told_ you."

He sighs with relief, a happy, warm feeling settling in his chest.

He spots a bottle of wine in the hand of a woman (was her name Linda?) with fiery red hair that he's sure has never been her natural color, and carefully plucks it from her grasp as he shuffles through the small crowd.

"I wasn't joking about cutting you guys off."


	5. Chapter 5

Loki's early. Like, way too early. And so fucking nervous.

He sits in his car in the parking lot of the cafe he's meeting Thor at, tapping his fingers on the worn out faux-leather steering wheel, eyes darting around at the few other cars in the lot and parked along the two lane street. It's lovely day, sunny and just warm enough that feels hot for a spring day.

He flips his visor down and gives his neck another check, making sure that the cheap concealer he smeared on it in a fit of anxiety induced self-consciousness hasn't melted off in the past five minutes. The bite shaped scars aren't that noticeable – just a little more silvery-white that the rest of him – but he worries about what Thor might do if he sees them-

He flips up the visor. Okay, don't think about that.

He grabs his phone off his lap and calls Sigyn with shaky fingers. He takes deep breathes as it rings, watching the street from the corner of his eye.

Sigyn answers with “are you okay?”

Loki lets out a little sigh. “Yeah, the date hasn't even started yet. I'm just really nervous.”

“Oh, good,” she says, genuine relief clear in her voice.

“Can you call me? In, like, an hour?” Loki blurts out. “Just in case.”

“Of course,” she answers instantly. Loki relaxes a little. “Anything else?”

Loki sags forward, resting his elbow on the steering wheel and cupping his forehead in his hand. “Am I being-?” He clears his throat, shutting his eyes as he shakes his head. “Do you think I'm going too fast with this?”

Sigyn hums, not saying anything for a minute before replying cautiously with, “I'm not sure. But you seem to really like the guy, so...”

Loki huffs.

Sigyn laughs. “Well, what do you want me to say?”

Loki sinks back against the seat, hand flopping on to his lap. He shrugs his shoulder. “That I'm being an idiot because I've barely even gotten away from Svadilfari and I'm already climbing on to a new alpha.”

“Loki, honey.”

Loki knocks his head in to the headrest with a huff.

“I don't think your being an idiot – I never have,” she continues, “and I do think you really like this guy and are having some first date jitters right now.”

There's a low rumble and Loki's head whips around just as Thor's truck slows down to turn in to the tiny lot.

“He's here.” His stomach does a few cartwheels when he spots Thor behind the wheel.

“I'll call you in an hour, okay?”

“Okay,” Loki replies breathlessly. He hangs up and gets out of his car as Thor pulls in to the spot at the other side of him. Thor has the windows open and music plays softly from the speakers.

“Hey,” he calls out as he shuts off the truck. Loki's stomach does a few more cartwheels as he watches Thor climb out of it, tucking back the windblown tendrils of hair that escaped the hair tie keeping it pulled half-up.

“Hey,” Loki calls back, voice barely managing to get past the light breeze.

The thin, grey t-shirt Thor's wearing hugs his broad shoulders and chest, the neckline dipping low to reveal chest hair that looks like sparks of gold in the sunlight, his jeans all worn in and soft looking as they hug his thighs. He smiles, squinting against the sun, and walks to where Loki's standing frozen in place next to his car.

It seems Loki's mind decided to forget just how good looking Thor is so he could be left dumbstruck all over again at the sight of him.

Thor takes him in, eyes moving head to toe, and Loki can't help but be painfully aware of how pale he is, how his plain t-shirt and jeans hang loose on his scrawny body. His stomach does another flip and he feels a bit queasy. He reaches up to touch his hair, subtly checking to make sure it covers the sides of his neck.

“Wanna head inside?” Thor asks with a gesture towards the red-brick building.

Loki nods, worried what his voice might sound like if he tried to speak. Thor steps aside, letting him go ahead. Loki tries and barely manages to collect himself as they make the short trek to the front of the building. Aware of how close Thor is to him on the narrow sidewalk that leads to the front door of the picturesque cafe.

Thor rests a large hand between Loki's shoulder blades, reaching forward to open the door and guide Loki inside.

They're greeted by a peppy teenage girl behind an antique-ish looking counter and Thor's hand moves down to the middle of his back as they walk up to it. Lingering there while they they peruse the clear displays with pre-made sandwiches, salads and pastries. They each pick a sandwich – Thor goes with ham while Loki picks the turkey – and order coffee.

“You want any chips?” Thor asks, hand finally falling away from Loki as he plucks a small bag of them off a rack and tosses it on to the counter.

Loki scrunches nose and shakes his head. “Not a big fan.” That, and he's already scraping out his wallet a bit. He even tips his wallet away from Thor as he pays for his sandwich and coffee. Loki looks around as Thor pays for his own, eyeing the table with two chairs right in front of the painted window.

“Your pick,” Thor says as he stuffs his change in to his pocket and picks up his food.

Loki smiles a little, leading them through a maze of empty chairs and tables – the place only has a handful of people in it apart from them, most of whom are silently typing away on laptops, the rest of the chatter blending in to the poppy music playing through the couple of speakers hidden in the corners.

They interrupt the quiet as they pull their chairs out, the wood feet screeching along the floor. And the table is deceptively small.

“Ow,” they both hiss when their knees knock together, followed by laughter a second after.

“You alright?” Thor asks as they settle down, moving his legs so they frame Loki's.

“Yeah,” Loki says. He can feel the heat radiating off Thor's legs and scoots his own closer together in response.

“Good,” Thor says with a nod, “my dad liked to speculate that my skull was made of steel when I was kid and knocked it into everything, so I can't help but think that my knees are pretty hard too.”

“You hit your head a lot?”

“I was a high energy kid.” Thor shrugs, tearing open the wax paper and cling wrap around his sandwich. “I liked to run around a lot and not look where I was going.”

Loki laughs, unwrapping his own sandwich. He's too nervous to eat. Shit. He goes for his coffee instead, taking careful sips as he looks out the window.

Thor is watching him with a soft smile when he looks back, head propped up in one hand, sandwich mostly forgotten in the other.

Heat rushes to Loki's cheeks and he fidgets in his seat.

“Hi,” Thor whispers.

Loki squirms more. “Hi.”

“How's the coffee?”

“It's good,” Loki says with a nod, turning the cup in it's thick, paper sleeve. “Um, very hot.”

Thor's lips split in to a crooked grin and Loki's face blazes. He looks down at the floor, biting down on his lip and lets out a stuttered, embarrassed laugh.

“Well, in case you were wondering, my sandwich is incredibly adorable.”

Loki shakes his head with a chuckle. “That was really cheesy.”

“It made you laugh,” Thor says. He leans forward, resting his forearms on the edge of the table, their faces a little over a foot apart. Loki can't seem meet his gaze when they're this close, his heart racing from just glancing at him.

Loki sets his cup down, not wanting to take a chance on his hands deciding that they should just drop the cup for no reason, and smooths out the paper his sandwich sits on. All while Thor watches.

“I'm bad at this,” Loki blurts out, eyes still focused down.

“I am too,” Thor chuckles, “I haven't really ever been on … _any_ first dates. Nothing that would count officially, anyway.”

Loki does look up at that, and the shock must be pretty obvious on his face, since Thor looks a little embarrassed and shrugs helplessly. He probably shouldn't be, though. And suddenly a whole host of questions spring to Loki's mind.

Loki sits up and cocks his head. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight,” Thor says lightly, “I even have my driver's license if you want to check.”

Loki cups the crook of his neck with a hand, hugging his arm around his waist. “And you've never had a mate?”

Thor shakes his head, smile falling just a bit.

Loki fidgets in his seat, wanting to pry further but afraid what might happen if he tried. Thor continues watches him, opening his mouth and shutting it.

He sinks down in his tiny wooden chair, fingers playing with the edge of his sandwich wrapper. “I know it's kind of weird because basically every alpha has a mate by the time they're, like, twenty-two,” he starts, voice low and deep, “but I just didn't feel ready back then.”

Loki relaxes minutely.

“And I wanted it to be with the right person,” Thor adds, the deep rumble of his voice barely managing to make it past the music. The look he levels at Loki is somehow as intense as it is shy.

Loki can't figure out what the fuck he's feeling. He's not scared, at least. “And you think that person is me?”

Thor sits up, scooting an inch or two closer, resting his elbows on the table and wringing his hands.

“Can I tell you something?”

Loki nods.

He opens his mouth, hanging there for a moment before he drops his hands on the table and laughs at himself. “This is going to sound super cheesy, so try not to laugh too hard, okay?”

Loki bites his lip and nods again.

“I felt _something_ when I met you,” Thor says, “I'm not sure what to call it but it felt like...” He waves his hands helplessly. “Like fitting two puzzle pieces together.”

Loki's voice is caught in his throat. He blinks at Thor, his own mouth hanging open now.

Thor slumps, looking out the window. “Okay, that just sounded stupid-”

“No,” Loki squawks out, hand shooting out and practically smacking Thor's as he grabs in to it. Thor looks back at his, eyes darting to their hands and then Loki's face.

“It's not stupid,” Loki whispers.

The corner of Thor's mouth tugs upwards, his hand turning over to clasp theirs together and squeezing gently. “It was like a couple of those middle pieces that are just a solid color too, you know how hard it is to find the ones that go together?”

Loki laughs, the tension leaving his body and making him sag in his seat while Thor watches him with a brightening smile.

They lull in to a comfortable silence, holding each other's hands even though it makes it more difficult to navigate eating. He manages to get down about a quarter of his sandwich before a thought nudges up to the front of his mind.

He sets his sandwich down and takes a couple sips of his coffee. He clears his throat, brushing crumbs off his lap.

Just say it.

“I've had a mate,” Loki says, cautious.

Thor gives him a small smile. “I know.”

“And that doesn't bother you?” he asks, eyes narrowed.

“It doesn't.” Thor shakes his head, setting his own food aside. “I mean, I feel a _little_ weird about it, but that's just instinct. And it's just a tiny, _tiny_ bit.”

“Really?” Loki's voice shakes with disbelief, eyes darting around Thor's face to try and find the lie. “You're just... okay with it?”

“I am,” he says. Plain and simple. Like he didn't even have to think about it.

“Really?” Loki whispers.

“Really,” Thor answers, smiling and confident.

“My-” His face twitches at the thought of saying the word mate. Thor watches him, looking curious. “My ex was-” He twitches at the thought of saying abusive too. Not that it isn't absolutely accurate and true it just feels... too harsh to say in this nice little cafe with Thor holding his hand.

“My ex was bad to me,” he says, each word pulled out of him slowly, “and I was with him for a pretty long time.”

Thor squeezes his hand again, his smile turning sympathetic.

“I'm still messed up from the whole thing.” Loki looks down and picks at the bread crumbs from his sandwich. “And I'm working on it, but it's only been a year since I got away from him. So, I- I don't know how fast you're wanting to take this, but I'm might not be able to-”

“It's okay,” Thor says in a rush, “we can take it slow as you need to go.”

Loki looks back up, meeting Thor's smile with a small one of his own.

“And I mean that,” Thor says. Loki finds himself ready to believe him.

He jumps when his phone begins to vibrate in his pocket. Has it already been an hour?

“Sorry,” Loki says meekly pulling his hand away from Thor's to dig it out and answer.

“Hey,” he answers.

“How's it going?”

“Good,” Loki answers, chewing on his lip. He glances to Thor and smiles when Thor winks at him.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Loki reassures, “I'll call you back later, okay?”

“Alright,” Sigyn says, “I'll be waiting for it.”

“I know you will,” Loki says. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Sorry,” he says as he hangs up and stuffs his phone back in to his pocket, “friend checking in.”

“It's fine,” Thor says, punctuating it with a light squeeze of Loki's hand. They go quiet again, staring at each other from over the tiny table. Thor still has his elbows planted on the table, his broad upper body dwarfing it. Their faces are close enough that he can see where the sun has missed the slivers of skin at the outer corners of his eyes and the bridge of his nose where his sunglasses sit, the skin at the corners tinged a greenish yellow from the fading bruises. And his eyes are even more _ridiculous_ from here. So intensely blue. Ridiculous. Loki licks his own lips as his gaze moves down to Thor's. They look dry but smooth and he wonders what that scruffy beard is going to feel like when they kiss...

Loki's heart races, letting out a quiet bark of laughter at himself.

“What is it?” Thor asks, eyebrow raised.

Loki shakes his head, scrubbing his hand over his face as his cheeks flush. “I was just wondering about something...”

Both eyebrows rise. “What about?”

Loki sets his chin in his hand, his leg bumping in to Thor's when he rocks his body to the side. “Your beard.”

“Really?” Thor laughs, looking surprised as he rubs his cheek. “Why?”

Loki smirks, taking a sip of (rapidly approaching 'too cold') coffee before he answers. “About what it would feel like when we kissed.”

Thor's mouth hangs open for a moment before it spreads in to a wide grin, a deep chuckle rumbling up from his chest.

“Would you like to try it and see what it's like?” Thor says, “I'd hate to leave you wondering for too long.”

Loki giggles (goddammit). “Yeah.”

Thor leans forward, his chair screeching along the floor as he rocks on to his feet. Loki meets him half-way, heart leaping in to his throat. He clenches his eyes shut when their faces are only a couple inches apart.

He inhales sharply when their lips meet, Thor's scent sending a tingle down his spine. His lips are dry but smooth, and warm, whiskery hair tickles the skin around his lips and chin. _He likes it_. Thor hums and it buzzes against his lips. Loki grips on to the edge of the table, feeling like he could float away.

Thor makes a move to pull away and Loki is quick to grab on to him – a hand tangling in to soft hair as he cups the back of Thor's neck – to keep him in place. He tilts his head and parts his lips, sighing when Thor follows right along. He cups Loki's face with both rough hands, thumps sweeping across his cheekbones. He tastes their coffee and sandwiches and he can't suppress another giggle. Then Thor hums again and Loki shivers, knees threatening to collapse under him.

They pull back with reluctance, eyes fluttering and smiling as they both sink back in to their chairs.

Thor clears his throat, a hand moving forward to grasp Loki's across the table. “So?”

“Huh?”

“My beard,” Thor clarifies with a massive smile and snicker. “It didn't totally ruin the kiss?”

“Oh no,” Loki breathes, “the complete opposite, actually.”

“Glad to hear.”

Loki moves his hand, twining their fingers together. Thor slides his thumb over Loki's, heaving a big, happy sigh.

This is nice. Really, _really_ nice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I was working on this chapter FOREVER and it's just ???
> 
> IDK, man. I GIVE UP! (⊃д⊂)

He's going to have to thank his mom for the picnic idea again. It's beautiful out, the sky perfectly clear and the blazing. Hot, but with a constant breeze that keeps it from being uncomfortable and sticky. Kids shouting and shrieking as they run amok on the playground and someone is playing music closer to the lake.

Thor's heart skips as soon as he spots Loki walking through the thin crowd towards him, where he leans against the trunk of the tree he's claimed for them. Loki's wearing a loose, sleeveless green top that shows off his lean arms and shoulders, with his hair is all swept up in a bun to show off every inch of his pale neck, and a pair of dark, tight fitting jeans that cling to every line and curve of his long legs...

Yeah, he needs to thank his mom again.

“Hey,” he greets as Loki comes up and gives him a peck on the lips. They both push their sunglasses on to the tops of their heads.

“Hey.” Loki looks carefree and relaxed, wearing an easy smile and eyes sparkling.

“You look gorgeous,” Thor says. He can _feel_ the silly, dreamy look on his face.

Instead of the usual flustering or the disbelief that sometimes flashes across Loki's face, he smirks. His hands smooth down his sides – Thor's eyes follow the movement greedily – and puffs his chest out.

“Do I?” Loki asks, sounding confident and like he knows exactly what he's doing to Thor.

Thor inhales. _Oh wow_ , he likes this side of Loki. He hopes he gets to see a lot more of it.

Thor rumbles, nodding in affirmation as he reaches out to grasp Loki's waist and pull him close. His other hand comes up to cup Loki's jaw. He nudges their noses together, their lips just barely making contact, before he dives in. Loki shuffles closer and Thor groans in pleasure as their bodies press together, looping his arm around Loki's waist. Loki tastes like some sort of fruit flavored candy and his tongue searches deeper for more of it. Loki makes a soft sound in the back of his throat, hands grasping at Thor's shoulders as he sinks further in to Thor's embrace.

He's been waiting all week for this. All the calling and texting they've been doing between their weekly Sunday lunch dates just doesn't compare to it. The warmth of his skin, every gesture and expression, his _scent_.

In the years he spent fooling around with betas, he never felt something close to this. He's so glad he waited for it.

Loki pulls back with a happy sigh, laying his head on Thor's shoulder as he hugs Thor around the waist. The hand he had on Loki's jaw moves to his arm, siding up and down from elbow to shoulder.

“Wanna get comfortable?” he asks, tipping his head to the small cooler and blanket he brought along.

Loki smiles, biting on his lower lip. “Yeah.”

Loki helps him spread out the blanket under the shade of the tree.

“You want a drink? I brought water and lemonade.”

“Water, please,” Loki says as he sits down.

Thor crouches and pops open the cooler, digging through the ice to get a bottle, handing it to Loki before getting out a bottle of lemonade for himself. “I brought sandwiches too, if your hungry.”

Loki shakes his head head, tipping it back as he sips his water. And what a lovely sight it is. “I'm good right now.”

Thor shuts the cooler, settling on the blanket with his back against the trunk of the tree, a few feet between him and Loki. “I bought, like, eight different kinds 'cause I wasn't sure what you might want,” he says, “and a thing of fruit salad 'cause I wasn't sure what you might want with it. And it looked good.”

Loki laughs softly at him. “Thanks.”

Loki eyes him as he fiddles with the cap to his water, looking like he's not quite sure how he wants to go about asking for something. Luckily, Thor is quick to figure it out. (Because he wants the exact same thing.) He adjusts his legs, one leg stretched out while he folds the other, arm resting on his knee, and wordlessly offers up the space between them to Loki.

Loki _crawling_ to him is another lovely sight to behold. One that'll be keeping him up tonight.

Loki settles with his back to Thor's chest, letting out a contented sigh as he rests his head on Thor's shoulder. Thor wraps his arms around Loki loosely, lazily caressing Loki's bare arms.

This is exactly what he was wanting. No table as a barrier between them, no cranked down AC's making it unbearably cold. There were people, but they're spread out, letting them have enough space to feel like they have privacy. It's perfect.

He presses a kiss to the corner of Loki's jaw, humming softly as he catches Loki's sweet scent. He presses his nose to the skin just under his ear, inhaling deeply. He catches that whiff of a bond, just strong enough to make him feel a bit leery, but he ignores it, drinking in the rest of it. The part that seems make all Thor's other senses perk up. The wind rustles the hairs on his legs and arms, the tickle of it making him shiver. He presses his mouth against Loki's neck and sweeps his tongue over the sliver of skin between his parted lips, mouth watering at the taste.

Loki makes a small sound, shifting in his arms. Thor's cock jumps in his shorts, jolting the rest of him out of the haze he'd inadvertently let himself fall in.

Jerking his head back, he says “sorry,” voice rough.

“It's okay,” Loki is quick to reply. His voice is breathless and a touch deeper, making Thor's cock twitch again. He reaches up, a hand sliding over Thor's pulled back hair, lifting and turning his head to look at Thor.

His eyes have gone darker, two spots of pink tinting his cheeks. _Fuck_.

Loki gives his head the lightest push and he falls forward in to Loki's mouth. He's careful to keep his hands in the safe zone, around Loki's waist, his mind still _there_ enough to remember that they're in public and that he doesn't want to ruin the moment by getting too handsy too soon.

Loki doesn't share the same fear. (And boy is Thor glad about _that_.) His hand pushes up the hem of Thor's shorts to squeeze the thick muscle of his thigh and Thor lets loose a groan in to Loki's mouth. Loki responds with a small sound, shifting and turning his body so his head isn't so twisted around, kneeling in front of Thor. He puts both hands on Thor's chest, groping the muscle there and humming. Thor keeps his hands glued to Loki's waist, squeezing tighter to keep them from roaming.

Thor's cock twitches hard when Loki's hands slip lower, breath catching in his throat at Loki's tentative touch. His own hand finally move, spreading across Loki's back, the soft fabric of his shirt catching on the callouses all over Thor's hands. Loki sighs, spine curving under Thor's fingertips as he leans in.

Thor hugs Loki to his chest, feeling his ribs contract and expand with short breaths. Loki makes another one of those small sounds: a high, breathy whine that is somehow so arousing that it actually physically hurts him. He curses inwardly. He's never been so turned on by kissing.

They jerk apart as a kid comes whizzing by, screaming and laughing and yanking Thor back in to reality. About four more kids run by a second after, their stampeding feet make the ground under them vibrate faintly.

They look back at each other and laugh softly. Loki's lips are pink and puffy, cheeks flushed, and those lovely green eyes blocked by dilated pupils.

He's too goddamn pretty and Thor is about as hard as you can get in the middle of a park full of people and kids. (Which is definitely _too hard_.) He adjusts himself as subtly as he can, but Loki's eyes fall to his crotch anyway.

He hears Loki swallow, his eyes dragging their way back up to Thor's face, his teeth scraping across his bottom lip.

He needs to think of something not sexy. Anything.

Easier said than done with Loki still in his lap.

He forces himself to look away, because he feels like his primal lizard brain might take over if he doesn't. He looks over to the lake and the people relaxing and having a nice Sunday afternoon along with them and laughs a little. At himself, since he feels like a horny teenage boy all over again.

“What is it?” Loki asks, voice meek and very much not how he sounded a little while ago.

Loki's giving him a worried look, looking a lot more like he has at the beginning of their dates. Thor's quick to reach out and touch him, pull him back in and hug him to his chest.

“Just laughing at myself,” he answers. “You're making me feel like a eleventh grader all over again.”

Loki laughs, relaxing again. “Oh.”

“That was amazing though,” he says, running his fingertips up and down Loki's arm. “I almost forgot we were in public.”

Loki smiles, taking off his sunglasses off before moving on to his side to snuggle against Thor's chest. Thor dips forward to kiss the top of Loki's head before resting his cheek on it. His arousal dies down, slowly, leaving behind a bit of an ache and an overheated feeling to his skin.

“This is nice,” he mumbles, giving the top of Loki's head another kiss.

Loki hums in agreement, looping his arms around Thor's torso.

Thor watches people milling about for a while, soaking in the feeling of Loki's weight pressing against him and enjoying how Loki's fingers sneak their way underneath the hem of his t-shirt, tickling the skin of his lower back.

“Keep doing that,” Thor sighs, nuzzling Loki's head.

Loki's splays his fingers, sliding them up either side of his spine. “Mm?”

Thor grunts, shuddering when his hands caress Thor's sides as they slide back down. Loki wriggles up higher and wraps one of his legs around Thor's, lips smacking against the side of Thor's neck. Thor tips his head to the side, Loki's body moving with the expansion of his ribs as he takes a deep breath.

“God, you smell so good,” Loki mumbles, lips pressed to Thor's skin.

Well, his cock is perking right back up.

Thor's hands are over Loki now, touching everything they can reach, keeping Loki close. He can't tell what he's more turned on by: What Loki's actually doing, or how turned on he is by this too.

More shrieking children pull them back to reality.

They laugh at themselves, Loki pulling back just enough so that they can look each other in the eye.

Loki looks away and shakes his head. “We're supposed to be going slow,” he says.

Thor frowns, pushing a small lock of hair that escaped Loki's bun behind his ear. “Was that too much?” he asks, worrying that he missed a sign or something.

“No,” Loki huffs, a smile creeping across his face as he looks back at Thor. “No. That was great. I'm just-” His mouth snaps shut, shoulders tensing and eyes darting away.

“What?” Thor asks as gently as possible.

Loki gnaws on his lip, eyes narrowing as he thinks.

“I'm just surprised,” he answers, slowly, “at myself.” Loki look back to him, eyes jumping all over the place, shoulders rounding ever so slightly. “And worried,” he says, voice small enough that Thor probably wouldn't have heard him if they weren't so close.

Thor's frown deepens in concern. “About what?”

Thor lets his arms fall down to his sides as Loki sits up, watching the tension that settles over his entire body.

The way Loki looks at him – like he's trying to not look nervous (and failing) – makes Thor want to reach out to touch him and comfort him. But something tells him _that_ might not be a good idea and keeps his hands to himself.

“I don't want-” Loki clenches his eyes shut. “It's-”

“I'm scared that you'll expect more,” Loki blurts out, “and I don't know if I'll be ready for it.”

Thor reaches out, offering his hand to Loki and hoping he'll take it. Loki does, tentatively, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I don't want you to be scared,” Thor says, placing his other hand over Loki's.

Loki's breath leaves him in a quiet whoosh.

“What are you ready for now?”

Loki blinks a few times before his shoulders (finally) sag in relief. He leans back on to Thor's chest. “This is good.”

Thor hums, smiling and hugging Loki.

“Kissing's fine too,” Loki says.

Thor dips his head, doing just that.

“And, um-” Loki pauses, squirming. “Some touching is good too.”

“What's ' _some touching_ '?” Thor asks. He really does want some clarification, but his voice comes out a bit huskier than he intended. Loki shivers.

“Over clothes,” Loki answers softly. Thor hears him swallow. “But, um, under the shirt is pretty okay too.”

“Anything else?”

Loki shakes his head as he exhales.

Thor bends his head down to give him another kiss.

“Please tell me if I'm doing something that's too much, okay?”

Loki looks at him like he can hardly believe that Thor is real. “Okay.”

Thor gives him a small smile, giving Loki a tight squeeze and another quick kiss.

“Are you hungry yet?”

“I can eat,” Loki replies, soft and breathless.

Loki scoots away to let Thor grab the cooler and drag it closer, facing Thor and crossing his legs. Loki laughs when he pops it open and reveals the whole haul of sandwiches Thor packed inside.

“You really bought that many?” Loki laughs.

“Yeah,” Thor says with a laugh too, “I thought a little selection wouldn't hurt.”

“What about the rest?”

“I'll just take the rest home if you don't want any,” Thor says with a shrug, “my dad used to call me a garbage disposal and he had a good reason for it. Which do you want?” He lays out all the sandwiches on the blanket (maybe he did go a little overboard) and watches Loki consider all his options before picking a turkey bacon wrap.

“So, you and your dad are close?”

Thor picks out a sandwich – it doesn't matter much to him, he likes the sound of all of them – and feels his smile turning a bit sad and wistful as he tosses the rest back in to the cooler. “We were, kinda.”

Loki blinks at him, looking down at his sandwich and tearing away the plastic. “Oh, I'm sorry.”

Thor shakes his head. “No, it's okay. I was going to have to tell you eventually.”

“What happened?” Loki asks, looking nervous as soon as the words pass his lips. “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,” he adds hastily.

“It's fine,” Thor reassures, “it's been years since it happened.”

Loki looks jumpy, avoids looking at Thor's face.

“It was a car accident,” Thor starts, “he was heading to work and someone drove in to his side when he was going through an intersection.”

Thor scrunches his nose as he remembers how he was already at work – hours and miles away – when he mother called, his stomach dropping to his feet as soon as he heard her broken voice. He looks up to find Loki looking back at him, and Thor gives him a soft smile.

“I'm sorry.”

Thor shrugs a shoulder. “It was kind of good, in a way. Made me appreciate everything more, made me do some soul searching. I ended up getting closer to my mom since I didn't want to feel like I didn't spend enough time with her if something happened.”

Loki looks away again, his eyes focused on the playground but not really focused. He picks at his sandwich.

He feels a little nervous asking, but he feels like it'll come up at some point anyway, and why not now. “What about you and your parents?”

Loki's face twitches and he looks down at his lap. “I haven't seen them since I was eighteen.”

Thor says sorry and Loki scoffs.

“They were shitty,” he murmurs. His voice comes out harder, but only a little. Thor sets his sandwich aside and reaches out for him. Loki's eyes bounce between his face and hands, hesitating before letting Thor drag Loki back between his legs and kisses him hard. Relief washes over him when it brings a smile to Loki's face.

“Their loss.”

Loki laughs at that, rolling his eyes. He settles more comfortably against Thor's chest, sighing as he rests his head against Thor's. They stay quiet for the next few minutes to eat and people watch.

“Were your parents an alpha and omega pair?” Loki asks.

“Nope,” Thor answers, “both betas. It was a fun surprise for them when I turned fourteen and suddenly wanted to fight everyone.”

Loki chuckles at that. “Mine were both betas too, with a few generations of nothing but betas behind them both... and then I was born.”

Thor frowns. He's not sure what to say to that. He gives Loki's shoulders a squeeze and kisses his forehead.

Loki gets pensive again, looking off in to the distance, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

Then he shakes his head. “Sorry,” he says, forcing on a smile.

“It's okay,” Thor says, wishing he had something better than that. He sets his sandwich by his side so he can have both arms around Loki and kisses Loki's hair.

 

Thor's got his eyes closed, head resting against the tree. The corners of his mouth curve up in to a soft smile. Loki can't seem to stop staring at him.

_Are you actually real?_

Loki's getting really tempted to ask, because he's starting to think he might be a hallucination. He closes his eyes and nuzzles in to the side of Thor's neck, ignoring how much warmer it's gotten and how sticky his skin feels.

_Whatever, it's a nice hallucination._

 


	7. Chapter 7

Loki waits just inside the gate surrounding the apartment complex. It's the first time that Thor's picking him up for one their dates and it's... kind of exciting. It's their first evening date, too. And they're going to a fair. Loki's feeling downright giddy about all of it.

He double checks his phone, checking to make sure it's charged and that the text he sent to Darcy actually went through – it's charged, and it did, just like when he checked five minutes ago.

(Maybe he's just a little nervous about this step.)

He recognizes the rumble of Thor's truck and cranes his neck as he peeks through the metal bars of the gate, smiling when he spots it pulling up. Thor slows down and pulls over to the curb just beyond the locked-off entryway.

Loki gives the security guard a wave and there's an aggressive buzz as the gate opens for him. There's a bounce in his step as he makes his way over to the truck and he doesn't even hesitate to climb inside. His breath does catch, though. A tingle washes over his body from head to toe.

“Hey,” Thor greets him, leaning over to peck the corner of Loki's mouth, unaware of how his scent is affecting Loki.

“Hey,” Loki replies just shy of breathless. He grabs Thor's shoulder before he can pull away, locking their lips together in a kiss that leaves Thor humming, the buzz of it on Loki's mouth sending another small shock along Loki's body.

He jerks back, sucking in a sharp breath that does the opposite of clearing his head.

Thor licks his lips, shaking his head as though clearing the haze from it, sitting back and starting the truck back. “You look nice,” he says, the softness of his words edged with a little huskiness that makes it hard for Loki not to squirm.

He glances down at himself. _Jesusfuckingchrist_ , can his nipples be any harder? He's liable to jab someone's eyes out. “Thanks,” he says, finally taking a good look at Thor, who's wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt. But the sleeves are tight around his arms, the white fabric bunching around his biceps and shoulders. And the collar dips low to show that dusting of hair on his chest. All of it is doing something to Loki-

Thor chuckles, making Loki's wandering eyes snap up to his smirking face.

“You look nice too,” Loki says, laughing at himself as he forces his eyes forward. Thor pulls back in to the street, offering his hand to Loki when they get moving. Loki weaves their fingers together, trying to keep his fidgeting to a minimum as Thor scent keeps shooting sparks along Loki's spine.

“Oh shit,” Thor says out of nowhere, letting go of Loki's hand to grab the wheel so he can roll down the windows with the other, the cab filling with a rush of hot, muggy air that alleviates some of Loki's... well, suffering is one way to put it. “I'm so sorry, I totally forgot to like, air this thing out,” Thor adds with a nervous laugh, offering his hand to Loki again.

“It's okay,” he says, cheeks flushing. Thor's scent is a bit watered down with the fresh air, but it's still overwhelming, sticking in the back of his throat and making his mouth water.

“I'm really sorry,” Thor says, giving Loki the most apologetic look he's ever seen.

“It's okay,” Loki repeats, placing his other hand on top of Thor's and leaning closer. “I mean it.”

Thor sighs, nodding and still looking like he feels bad. Loki, on the other hand, feels the opposite of bad. He's sorely tempted to stick a hand down his pants – or better yet _Thor's_ hand, the thought of feeling those work-roughened fingers on his cock and cunt making some of his muscles twitch. He bites his cheek to keep any sounds at bay and forces his breathing to stay slow and even.

This is going to be a long ride.

 

* * *

 

Loki has to admit to himself that it _is_ a relief when they finally get to the fairgrounds and find somewhere to park in the packed lot. He was getting real close to climbing in to Thor's lap there. The tingle doesn't go away, but it simmers down enough to not be distracting as they walk through rows of cars and get in to the line for the booth to pay.

It's right at dusk, remnants of coral sky blending in to lavender and deep blue, the lights on each attraction blinking in to life. Loki doesn't even realize he grinning at it until he catches Thor watching him out of the corner of his eye.

“It's been a long time since I've gone to one of these,” he explains before Thor has a chance to comment, sheepish and quiet.

The smile Thor gives him is so sweet it might give him a toothache. Loki has to look away from it and Thor dives in to kiss his cheek, arm wrapping around Loki's waist. Loki hums, leaning some of his weight on to Thor and looping his arms around Thor's shoulders. Thor butts his forehead in to Loki's, their noses brushing before their lips meet.

Someone behind them clears their throat. Loudly. _Pointedly_. Only then do they notice that the line ahead of them has moved up a few feet and they're quick to close the space while still hanging on to one another. Loki looks back to Thor, a ditzy sounding laugh spilling from his lungs as their eyes met. Thor echos it with a deep laugh that resonates through Loki where their chests meet, pulling him in to another kiss with a squeeze of the arm around his waist.

They shuffle up the line between kisses, only really separating when they finally get to the booth. Thor pays for them both before Loki can even reach in to his pocket, making his nerves spike. Thor scoops up their tickets and tells the guy in the booth to have a good night, looking back at Loki as his arm makes it's way back around Loki's waist, walking him through the lit up entrance.

“Was that okay?” Thor asks, because apparently Loki is fucking awful at hiding his discomfort. Or Thor is just really good at seeing it.

“I- I could've paid for my own,” Loki says, trying really hard to not sound totally freaked out or defensive and failing _miserably_.

Thor stammers, looking a little shocked and a lot more confused which only manages to freak Loki out more. “I just thought- I mean, I _know_ , but I thought since it was my idea I'd pay... Have it be my treat, you know?”

“Oh,” Loki says in a small voice. Embarrassment floods him, eyes darting around at the people milling about and wondering if they notice how much of a colossal fuck up he is. “Sorry, I'm just being stupid.”

A frown flickers across Thor's face, his hand tightening slightly on Loki's waist. “No you're not,” he says, voice just loud enough for Loki to hear.

Loki twitches, biting back the urge to argue with him about it, his eyes moving down to the trampled grass.

Thor leans in and plants his lips on Loki's temple, his short bread tickling Loki's cheek as he lingers there. Loki sighs through his nose, sagging against Thor. He gives Loki's waist a tight squeeze before pulling his lips away with a quiet pop, hand traveling to slide up and down Loki's back.

“So, what's first?” he asks Loki, obviously trying to lift the mood.

Loki takes a deep breath, doing his best to ignore how mortified he still feels. “I'm not sure.”

“How about we walk around for a bit and see what happens,” Thor offers.

Loki nods, trying to force himself to move past the awkwardness. Their hands twine as they walk the wide paths between the games and rides. The crowd parts automatically for Thor, and he doesn't even seem to realize it's happening, his eyes constantly falling back to Loki.

“My ex used to pay for everything,” Loki blurts out, feeling the need to explain himself. He rubs at his neck with his other hand, face twisting in to a grimace as he looks down at the ground and his stomach ties itself in to knots. “He kind of used it against me, especially when we were... dating, I guess.” He swallows and rubs the skin of his neck hard enough that the spot's gonna turn red. “You know, like, 'I bought you dinner so you _owe_ me' that kind of thing.”

An upbeat song blasts from an old speaker nearby, everyone around them is talking and laughing and having a good time. _What a great place to have this conversation, nice fucking work_.

“I guess it just makes me nervous,” he says to the ground, “it's- whatever, it's just stupid, don't worry about it.”

Loki's arm is tugged back when Thor comes to a sudden stop, his heart leaping to his throat. He lets Thor hug him against his chest, forcing himself to look up and meet Thor's gaze. Thor shuts his mouth almost as soon as he opens it, doing that a few more times before apparently giving up on words and just nuzzling Loki instead. Somehow, that's enough to make Loki relax. He wraps his arms around Thor's waist and nudges his nose against the side of Thor's neck and inhales, a rush of heat washing down his head and shoulders that make his fingers curl in to the fabric of Thor's shirt and not want to let go.

Loki's feeling better when Thor pulls back a few moments later, able to return the small smile that Thor gives him. One of Thor's hands comes up to cup his cheek, leaning forward to press their mouths together. Loki sighs when their lips come apart, tangling their fingers together and squeezing Thor's hand in his.

“Thanks,” Loki whispers. It's the only response that feels right.

Thor gives a small nod of his head, pressing a quick kiss to Loki's forehead before they start walking again. They wander for awhile, coming to a stop a little ways away from the strongman game. They stay back from the small crowd to watch people try their hand at it, to varying levels of success. Loki senses more than smells the alphas that have gathered around the game – most are of them stand a head above the rest, somehow manage to be big even if they aren't actually big. There's a slight undercurrent of agitation in the crowd, ebbing and flowing with each attempt at the game. He can't decide if the guy running the game is stupid or brave for the snarky remarks he throws out at everyone.

They watch one guy – a beta, Loki guesses – go up and take the mallet, quickly getting huffy when his first hit barely moves the puck. His second goes nearly as bad and by the third his friends have to drag him away while the carnival worker heckles him.

“Which one do you want?”

Loki shivers at the feeling of Thor whispering in to his ear, his hand heavy and warm on his waist. Thor's grinning when Loki glances to him for clarification.

“Which one?” he repeats, jerking his chin to the prizes displayed around the game.

Loki bites his lip to try and suppress his smile as he gives a once over at all the cheap stuffed animals, his eyes falling one a cluster of cats in bright colors with big, cartoon-y eyes and points to them. “I wouldn't mind one of the cats.”

Thor beams and asks, “which color?”

“The green one,” he replies, feeling a bit silly as he answers.

Thor winks at him, squeezing his waist before letting go to grab his hand and lead them up to the game. Loki clings to his arm as the crowd splits, nerves rising as he feels eyes falling on him, sweating breaking out on the back of his neck.

“Oh boy, looks like we got an alpha who looks like he wants to show everyone what for,” the game runner calls out when he spots Thor, gesturing wildly for him to come up. “Come on then Blondie, test your strength.”

Thor chuckles, twisting to peck Loki on the lips before stepping up. The guy wolf whistles, leaning as if to whisper something to just Thor, except for the fact that the microphone he has one catches everything.

“Got a date to impress, huh?” he says, “well, you better ring that bell, I see a few guys eyeing him up.”

Thor's head jerks to look over his shoulder automatically, eyes sharp and narrow on the crowd. The guy laughs, patting Thor on the shoulder before stepping back, telling him to get to it.

Thor scans the crowd a few seconds more before turning away and picking up the mallet. He tosses it between his hands a few times to test it's weight, glancing over his shoulder once more to shoot a roguish smirk and another wink to Loki. He turns away, the broadness of his back making Loki's mouth dry. The crowds energy goes weird – or maybe it's just Loki – but he can't seem to pay much attention to it, his focus squarely on Thor as he swings the mallet above his head and slams it down on to the base. Lights blink and there are a few dings, but the puck doesn't quite reach.

“Ooh, so close.”

Thor sets himself up again, shoulders squaring up. He swings the mallet above his head, rocking on to his toes and slamming down on the base with (what looks like) all his might.

It takes him a moment to realize that Thor won that time, his mind gone in a lusty haze that only dissipates when Thor leaves his eye line to tell the guy which prize he wants.

He can feel the annoyance of the other alphas in the crowd, but it doesn't come close to dampening the giddiness he feels when Thor proudly presents the ridiculous toy cat to him. He takes it and hugs the cheap thing to his chest, thanking Thor with a kiss.

 

* * *

 

She's young, towering over the group of giggly young betas she's with a little ahead of him and Loki in the line for the tilt-a-whirl. Thor watches her from the corner of his eye while he listens to Loki tell him about some asshole costumer they had to deal with at the diner that day. Since playing the strength tester game, Thor can't help but notice every head that turns their way when he and Loki walk by. They zero in on him and it's like Thor may as well not exist.

It rankles him in a way he's not used to. He's never considered himself to be possessive, or even prone to jealousy, despite his nature... but he's also never had a reason to be until now, to be perfectly honest.

But Loki's basically pasted to his side and she can't be older than eighteen, so why the hell should he bothered by her moving closer to the aluminum fencing that keeps the line in order so she can get a better look at him?

“...Harvey even had to come out and tell the guy to shut up. I'm lucky I only had to make the asshole's food.”

Loki doesn't even notice it. So Thor should probably try and ignore it, right?

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the young alpha move – it's not even a full step, more like a small shifting of her body weight. But it's _closer,_ and he doesn't like that one bit.

He moves, hugging Loki tighter to himself as he puts himself directly in her line of sight and gives her a warning look. She backs off almost immediately, though it looks like she contemplates trying to challenge him until one of her friends drags her back in to their conversation, unaware of what just happened right beside them.

Loki noticed that.

“Sorry,” Thor says quietly, pulling back so their not all squished against each other.

Loki exhales in a way that sounds sort of like a laugh, shaking his head. “It's fine.”

“What were you saying?”

“Not much else,” Loki says with another chuckle, “the guy got booted out over ketchup, is all.”

Thor smiles a little, but the mood feels off. (And he thinks maybe going to a super crowded place teeming with other alphas mixed in might've not been a super great idea. Hindsight.)

They shuffle a few feet forward as the ride fills up with new patrons, and Loki steps closer, hugging Thor around the waist and laying his head on Thor's shoulder, the stuffed cat tucked in his arm.

“That's been happening more lately,” Loki says, voice small, “it makes me nervous.”

“Sorry,” Thor says for lack of anything better.

Loki lets out a huff through his nose, rubbing his cheek against Thor's shoulder. “Don't be, I like _you._ ”

Thor smiles at that, closing his eyes and resting his head on Loki's. “Mm.”

When he opens his eyes he catches the other alpha looking back them( _at Loki_ ) and levels a harsh glare at her, harsh enough to make her flinch and turn away. He hugs Loki tighter to himself, his eyes darting all over to see if anyone else is looking their way, while Loki hums and snuggles against him.

 

* * *

 

“Ooh, we should go on the ferris wheel!” Loki's face is lights up as he suggests it, bright and beaming. “The line's not bad right now.”

Panic washes over Thor, his eyes glancing up at the ride he's been sort of pretending didn't exist while he breaks out in a cold sweat.

 _But Loki looks so excited_.

“Yeah, sure,” he says almost automatically, because there isn't a chance in hell that he's gonna say _no_ because of some stupid childhood fear, and lets Loki lead him to the end of the line. He's an adult now, he can handle a freaking _carnival ride_. It isn't even one of the fast ones they've already been on. This is nothing.

“My grandma always took me on this when I was little,” Loki says, watching the wheel start it's slow spin with something close to wonder in his expression. “It was her favorite too so she was happy to ride it over and over with me.”

As far a Thor can remember, it's the first time Loki's shared something about his childhood without prompting _and_ he looks happy about it. It's enough to momentarily distract Thor from the adrenaline coursing through him. Thor smiles, running his fingers through Loki's hair as his eyes get distant and misty.

“So, were you close to your grandma?” he dares to ask when Loki's been quiet for a solid minute.

“Yeah,” Loki replies with a small nod of his head, “she kind of raised me when I was little.”

 _At least someone gave a shit about him_ , he thinks to himself. Thor pulls him close, pressing a kiss to Loki's hair.

People file on and off the ride, the line slogging forward until it's him and Loki waiting at the gate and...

_Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck._

He's gonna die. His heart is hammering in his head, his body tense as a bow string.

Thor follows Loki as the scruffy guy running the ride opens the gate and lets them through. The carriage looms before him, the colorful lights casting weird, distorted shadows on it. He freezes mid-step.

Loki tilts his head as he looks back at him, eyebrows pinched. “Thor?”

_It's just a ride._

He forces out a laugh and moves forward, but it feels sort of like he's climbing in to his coffin when he sits down. Loki gives him another confused when they're settled in.

With the sound of grinding machinery and overly loud music, the thing starts moving. The air squeezes itself out of Thor's lungs, body going rigid as every rational thought slinks from his mind and gets replaced with hazy memories and a thick, suffocating feeling of dread.

Okay, clearly didn't grow out of this fear.

“Thor?” Loki's voice sounds muted, like his ears are full of water. “You're squeezing my hand really hard... Thor?”

Thor loosens his grip as soon as the words manage to sink in, worry and guilt making his eyes dart to Loki.

Loki looks just as worried, and also confused. “Are you okay?”

“Fine!” Thor yelps, loud enough to make Loki jump. The movement is enough to make the carriage rock and Thor clings to the bar in front of them in the ensuing panic.

“Seriously, are you okay? Can you talk to me?”

“Uhh.” Thor clamps his eyes shut as they creep higher, his skin crawling from just the sensation of them moving higher in to the air.

He feels Loki's hand between his shoulders, rubbing over his shirt in small circles while he gently shushes Thor.

“Come here,” he urges softly, tugging on Thor's arm. The ride comes to a stop and Thor lurches, practically flinging himself on to Loki and burying his face in his neck. There's more shushing and back rubbing, which helps a lot, actually. And it doesn't hurt to have his nose filled with Loki's extra sweet scent.

Thor's entire body twitches when they move again, only to stop again what feels like a second later.

“Are we stuck?” The question comes out as a shout, and some distant part of his mind feels Loki flinch.

“We're fine,” Loki replies, hands sliding up and down Thor's back.

All he hears for a while is the sound of the ferris wheel's machinery grinding and whining. He clings on to Loki for dear life, sucking in desperate and unsteady gasps of air against Loki throat the entire time. Loki keeps talking, but his voice seems distant and Thor can only hears snippets of what he's saying.

He grips on to Loki tighter when they stop yet again, stomach churning. But Loki squeezes and jostles his shoulder, his words coming in clear.

“It's over now, we can get off.”

Relief washes over him, sucking in a full breath what feels like the first time in a century as he shoots up on to his shaking legs. As soon as they're off the platform and back on solid, not-a-spinning-deathtrap earth, the reality of what just happened comes crashing down on him like a load of shame-filled bricks.

“Are you okay?” Loki asks softly, “what happened up there?”

Thor keeps his eyes down, staring at their feet and the mud and the stomped down, crumpled grass as he rubs his ( _teary – oh god, there's a wet splotch on Loki's shoulder_ ) eyes with both hands. “I, uhh-”

He stutters as he tries to find the words to explain himself, his mind clogged with the panic from the ride combining with the embarrassment from freaking the fuck out. Loki grabs one of his wrists and pulls him off to the side and out of the constant moving crowd.

“Sorry,” is the first this he manages to blurt out. It's a full word, at least.

“It's fine,” Loki says, expression still filled with concern. “But seriously, are you okay?”

Thor sags, letting out a sour laugh. He feels so stupid that he feels like he should answer with a _no_ , but he doesn't want to ruin this any more than he already has. “Yeah,” he answers with a heavy sigh.

Loki studies Thor's face quietly. Waiting for a little more explanation, probably.

Thor lets out another sigh. “When I was five, I went one of those with an older cousin and it got stuck when we were almost at the top and, I don't know, it just _stopped_ ,” he explains, “and it was the middle of the day and super hot and my cousin started messing with me and saying the whole thing was going to fall apart and we were going to die and he kept rocking the seat...”

His breathing starts going short again from just reciting the story. He can feel the heat flooding his face and his eyes stinging, his arms twitching with growing distress.

Loki shuffles closer, grabbing Thor's hand in a loose grip. “Why didn't you say anything before we got on?”

Thor forces himself to look at Loki, giving him a weak smile. “You looked so excited to ride it, I didn't want to ruin it over something so dumb.” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “But I guess I did anyway.”

Loki's face falls in to a frown, and Thor manages to feel even more awful for it.

They stand there in tense, awkward silence, people around them laughing and talking as they walk by the two unaware.

“I'm sorry,” Loki whispers, gnawing on his lip as he looks down at their joined hands.

Thor shakes his head a little. “Why?”

“You wouldn't have had to go on it if I hadn't-”

“No, no, babe it's not like that at all,” Thor interjects, “I had no idea it was going to be that bad, I really thought I could handle it.”

Loki still doesn't look entirely convinced and Thor kind of just wants to crawl somewhere and die right now. Exhaustion hits him full on, deflating him entirely. His eyes fall to the tear-stained blotch he left on Loki's shirt.

“I should have said something before we got on,” he adds lamely, “it's not your fault, you didn't know.”

Loki just looks at him, wide eyes reflecting the lights flashing in wild patterns just past them.

“Sorry about crying all over you,” he says miserably, gesturing to Loki's shoulder.

Loki glances at himself with a sort of bewildered look, shaking his head as he looks back to Thor. “It's fine,” he says, as though he hardly even noticed it.

It's enough to abate some of his overwhelming guilt and put a shaky smile on his face, but the shame from the entire scene still has him in it's jaws and he's not sure how he's going to get over it. He blubbered all over him for fuck's sake.

“Thor,” Loki says with a squeeze of Thor's hand, pulling his gaze back from where it had landed on Loki's shoulder.

“Thank you for trying,” Loki whispers, bringing their hands up and holding them to his chest. He leans forward, pressing his lips to Thor's and pulling back.

“Are you going to be okay?” Loki asks again when a couple moments pass in silence.

“Yeah,” Thor sighs, “I just feel stupid.”

Loki blinks at him a few times, eyebrows furrowing in to a frown for a moment before something else crosses his face and smooths it away. Then he leans in to Thor, bringing their faces close and nuzzling in to Thor's cheek.

Thor lets out a snicker, hugging Loki tight and nuzzling back.

Loki's smiling when he pulls back, taking Thor's hand and leading them back in to the flow of the crowd.

“Lets go play more games,” Loki suggests with a arched eyebrow, “maybe you can win me a brother for Mister Kitty.”

“Mister Kitty?” Thor laughs.

“Is Sir Kitty better?”

“It's more dignified, at least.”

 

* * *

 

They're walking hand-in-hand through the rows of cars packed tightly together. The sky has gone almost pitch black with clouds and it smells like it's going to start raining soon. The cheap filling of his stuffed cat crunches under his arm and he can't help but smile.

When he glances over he catches Thor smiling too. Thor looks over, their feet pausing mid-step to kiss before continuing on their trek.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” is the first thing out of Thor's mouth when they make it back to his truck and find that it's hopelessly wedged between two other cars – there isn't even enough space for them to get inside. Loki tenses automatically at the annoyance in his voice and watches the side of Thor's face.

But then Thor sighs heavily, resigned to the fact that they're stuck. He looks back to Loki and says, “well? Wanna go back?”

Loki scrunches his nose as he glances back to the fair. It was fun, but he's sick of having extra eyes all over him, and the noise was starting to get to him. “Not really.”

Thor nods, letting go of Loki's hand to walk up to the truck and let down the tailgate, hopping on to it and patting the space beside him with a small smile.

Loki climbs on, wriggling himself against Thor's side. Thor drapes his arm around Loki's shoulders and buries his nose in to Loki's hair, his lips pressed against Loki's temple.

“Did you have fun?” he asks, “aside from my whole, um, freak out.” His voice is the tiniest bit unsteady, his eyes darting to the ground.

Loki smiles gently, reaching up to touch his cheek, fingers scratching lightly in to his facial hair and forcing Thor's eyes to meet his again. “I did,” he answers, “even with the whole _freak out_.”

“I'm really sorry about all that,” Thor says for about the fiftieth time since it happened.

He's still embarrassed, it's basically written on Thor's face. Loki's suddenly struck with an idea that might make him feel at least a little better.

“It's okay,” he starts softly. He sets the stuffed cat aside and shifts sideways to face Thor. Biting his lip, he lets his hand fall from Thor's face to his chest to shamelessly paw at him. He lets his voice drop as he adds, “you were still the strongest alpha there.”

(Okay, it's a bit of an obvious ego stroking, but maybe it'll help.)

Thor laughs and rolls his eyes.

Loki's undeterred, sort of expecting a reaction like that. He scoots closer, mouthing up the side of Thor's neck until his lips are against Thor's ear. “They were all so envious of you, I could feel it.”

Thor shivers, letting out a shaky breath. Loki takes a moment to pinch Thor's earlobe between his teeth, relishing in the soft grunt Thor lets out in response. Thor's arm drops down around Loki's waist, muscles tensing as he hugs Loki closer.

“It was so sexy seeing you scare them all away from me,” he purrs in to Thor's ear, “they all know they'd never stand a chance against you.”

“I'm not usually like that,” Thor says with a breathless laugh.

Loki smiles. “It's because I'm all yours, isn't it?”

Thor lets out a tight groan, his chest heaving under Loki's hand.

“Say it,” Loki whispers. Heat rushes to his cheeks as the grip on his waist tightens. There's a subtle change to Thor's scent that makes Loki bury his nose in his hair and inhale deeply.

With a low growl Thor grabs the back of Loki's head and crushes their mouths together. Loki whines as his body seems to ignite, a spear of fire shooting down his spine. He tries to get even closer, whining in to Thor's mouth again when he can't get enough contact. Thor breaks away to hop off the tailgate to stand between his knees, hooking his fingers in to the crooks of them and yanking Loki forward.

Moaning, Loki wraps his legs around Thor's waist automatically, clings on to Thor's shoulders.

Thor's hands settle on to his hips – Loki can feel the heat of them through his jeans – eyes dark with hunger when they meet his own. “You're mine,” he rumbles before surging forward. Their teeth clack together, their lips mashing. Loki gulps for air any chance he gets, his heart racing and head floating. His limbs constrict around Thor's body, squeezing as tightly as he can. He mewls, letting his knees part enough that he can roll his hips just so. Thor groans, grinding in to Loki.

He needs more, dammit- He needs-

Loki gasps, the realization of what's happening hitting him like a bucket of ice water. Frantic, he pushes at Thor's shoulders. “I'm going in to heat,” he chokes out, panic mixing in with lust.

Thor seems confused for a moment, giving a perplexed look to Loki's hands. Then it sinks in, his eyes going wide with something that looks a little like horror while his hands fly off Loki, taking a step back.

Loki snatches the cat, his arms trembling as he hugs it to his chest. Thor looks around them helplessly, scratching his head.

“Are you-” Thor huffs, scrunching his face. “Are you going to be okay?”

Loki takes a moment to breath and try to clear his head a little. “Yeah,” he says breathlessly, “I probably have a few hours before I'm really in it, I'm just sort of... warming up right now.”

Thor nods, letting out a whoosh of breath.

It starts to drizzle a minute or so later, heavy drops pelting the cars with a staccato beat. People start coming in droves soon after. Thor paces at the end of the truck as they wait, hands on his hips and glaring at anyone whose steps linger or at anyone who seems too interested in getting a look at Loki. Loki's eyes never stray from Thor, his thoughts in a jumble.

Thor saves his meanest look for the first family that comes back to their car, making a point to stand and watch with his massive arms crossed over his chest as the parents settle their young children in to their car.

Loki has his eyes clamped shut, concentrating on being still, as if it'll somehow help anything.

“ _I fucking told you_ ,” he hears from a sharp, feminine voice, getting a “ _just shut up and get in_ ” in response. Thor grumbles when they finally pull out.

“Come on babe” he says, touching Loki's elbow lightly.

Loki nods, biting his lip as he unfolds himself. Every inch of his skin feels inflamed, his clothes rough to the point of painful, even his _hair_ hurts. Thor goes ahead of him and opens the driver's side door for him, keeping his distance while Loki climbs in and slides across to the passenger's side.

He can't help but keen as Thor's scent makes his entire body throb. Fear clutches his mind when he wonders if he'll actually manage to make through the ride back home. Thor can just take him if he wants to, and Loki's not even sure he'd fight it.

Thor doesn't close the door as he starts up the truck, rolling the windows down before he climbs in all the way.

“Don't worry,” he murmurs, his voice making Loki shiver, “I'm gonna get you home.”

Loki whimpers and squirms in his seat.

They start moving, slowly, Thor cursing under his breath every five seconds as they keep having to brake. Loki leans over, resting his head against the door to let the wind and rain pelt his face. He shuts his eyes, resigning himself to just letting whatever that's gonna happen, happen.

Thor's knuckles are white form how tightly he grips the wheel, jaw clenched and eyes set straight ahead no matter how much Loki pants and writhes beside him. It helps when they finally get on the road and gain some speed so that some of Loki's scent gets washed away by the wind, but not much. It's in his nose now.

Loki shifts around with a small, pitiful sound, the cat not managing to totally hide the way his hand moves between his legs. He grits his teeth and fights against the urge to reach over and touch Loki, pressing his foot on the gas harder.

Thor breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Loki's apartment complex peeking through the trees. _He made it_. His tires screech when he pulls right up to the gates, hands aching from gripping the wheel so tightly for so long.

Loki doesn't do anything and when Thor looks over he finds him with his eyes clenched shut and his entire body tensed.

“We're here,” he says, voice coming out gravelly.

Loki flinches, eyes blinking open with a dazed expression. He gives the gates a stunned look. “We're here.”

Thor nods, unable to rip his eyes off Loki now.

“Um.” Loki blinks more. Thor's eyes follow his tongue as it darts out to wet his reddened lips.

“You should head inside.” He can feel his resolve weakening the longer he looks at Loki.

Loki's gaze meets his, nostrils flaring as he takes a deep breath. His eyes darken, body leaning towards Thor-

Loki sighs when Thor's hand shoots out to grab Loki's arm. Goosebumps bloom over his hot, clammy skin. Thor moves his hand, sliding it up towards his shoulder. He wants to feel more of it, taste it, he wants to-

“Loki, _go_ ,” he orders forcefully, yanking his hand back to himself.

That seems to shake some sense back in to Loki, eyes clearing out a bit of their haze. He nods and swallows thickly, opening the door with a shaky hand and climbing out. Thor watches him walk up to the smaller gate, just beside the larger one meant for cars, talking to the guard at the other side for a moment before he hears the buzzer go off and he's being let in.

Loki turns and looks back at him as he shuts the gate, giving Thor a look that makes something unwind in Thor's chest. He lets out the breath he feels like he's been holding since Loki said he was going in to heat. Even though Loki's scent is still mucking up his brain, he feels relaxed as he pulls away. He did good. It's all right.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...it's been 84 years...

Loki's doubled over, weeping in to his hands as Dr. Romanov rubs a hand between his shoulders. Todays been one of those hard days. His heat lasted an agonizing four days, the diner has been short handed so he's been having to work out in front again, and then somehow they got on to the subject of his parents in therapy...

He doesn't remember the last time he cried over them. It fucking sucks. He didn't miss it.

“I did everything,” he chokes out, the anger and hurt feeling as fresh as it did when he was a kid. “I wore the stupid dresses, I was perfect at school, I did every fucking chore and it never fucking mattered to them.”

Dr. Romanov manages to scratch something on her notepad without other her hand even pausing. She sets it aside when she's done, gently guiding him to sit up and handing him a box of tissues.

“There are parents out there who don't have children because they want to love and nurture the new life they create,” she says, voice plain and matter-of-fact, “they have children because they have an image, they want little carbon copies of themselves or some fantasy child who fits some ideal they've concocted in their head, and when the inevitable happens and the child doesn't fit that ideal, they lash out. I imagine if you were to talk to your brothers now one of them has experienced their abuse.”

He aims his tired eyes to a random spot on the wall, while memories flit about his mind.

“How are you feeling right now?”

“Fucking miserable,” he croaks out. “And kind of... empty.”

 

* * *

 

Thor can't manage to keep completely still as he pulls up to the gates in front of Loki's apartment complex. It's been a long week. Loki's scent lingered in his car until just two days ago, even just that scrap stoking a small flame under his skin, along with the calls. The _calls_. He lost a lot of sleep from those calls. He wasn't complaining though, every minute of sacrificed sleep spent listening to Loki pant and moan for him was more than worth it. (Even if it was slightly torturous. It was good torture.)

He taps his fingers in a rapid beat along the wheel, comes to a careful stop at the window of the security guard's building. A youngish looking guy in a gray uniform is at the helm.

“Who are you here to see?”

“Loki Laufeyson,” Thor replies, “he's in B10, I think?”

The guard nods. “Can I see your ID?”

Thor has wriggle around to get his wallet out of his pocket, huffing as he settles back in to his seat and pulls his driver's license from it. He hands it over and the young man looks at it and then Thor before nodding. He turns to the computer in front of him, tapping something on the keyboard before moving to some dated looking intercom system, pressing one of the buttons.

“ _Yes?_ ” Thor smiles unbidden at the sound of Loki's voice, as crackly and garbled as it sounds through the aged speaker.

“Are you expecting a-” The guard has to look down at Thor's license again. “-Thor Odinson?”

“ _Yes, you can let him through_.”

“Okay.”

Thor watches as he types a few things down in some sort of log before handing his license back to him.

“The common areas are off limits to alphas, understood?” the security guard says, voice stern.

It ruffles Thor to have a beta – and this guy in particular can't be taller than Thor's shoulders – giving him orders, but the logical part of his mind reminds him that he's just doing his job. And he _is_ sorta invading their territory, here. So he nods and gives the guy a friendly smile for his trouble. “Understood.”

“Building B is in the back there,” the guard says as he points to the building towards the back corner of the lot, “just use the intercom to get in.”

“Anything else?

“Nothing that shouldn't be obvious.”

“Got it.”

“Alright, have a good evening.”

“You too.”

There's a loud buzz before the gates start to slide open, metal grinding on metal. He pulls in and it hits him how big the whole place is. Multiple, four story tall buildings surround a big parking lot. There's one much smaller building in the very back that Thor guesses is one of those common areas he's not allowed to go in. He drives to the building the guard pointed too, lucking out and finding a free spot right next to Loki's car. He grabs the bag with the bottle of wine and cheesecake slices he picked up on the way out of the passenger seat and hops out, smile growing when he sees Loki opening the door to the building.

It falls as he gets closer and notices how red Loki's eyes are, and how thoroughly exhausted he looks. It doesn't even look like he's changed out of his work clothes.

“Everything okay?”

Loki doesn't manage to meet his eyes, looking especially meek as he shrugs and answers, “just a long day.”

“I missed you,” he says as he takes Loki's hand and kisses his knuckles.

That pulls out a smile and Loki mumbles out, “I missed you too.”

“I took the liberty of bringing desert and wine,” he says, holding up the bag in his hand. “I hope that's okay.”

“Oh,” Loki says, looking embarrassed. “I hadn't even thought about that.”

“Well, lucky thing I thought of it then,” he says with a playful wink. Loki seems to relax a bit, lips curving in to a soft smile. He leads Thor inside and down the long, narrow hallway lined with numbered doors. Thor's nose crinkles at the smell of the place. The scents of so many omegas mixed with noxious carpet cleaner is pungent to the point of being obnoxious. And uncomfortable. He leans over to kiss Loki's cheek, inhaling deeply against Loki's temple. He sighs as Loki's scent fills his nose. Much better.

It's even better when they get in to Loki's apartment. Nothing but the wonderful scent of Loki and-

“I'm making spaghetti,” Loki says, “I hope that's okay.”

“Spaghetti's my favorite.”

Loki's shoulders drop in obvious relief and Thor feels oddly... guilty about that. He tries to not dwell on it, handing the bag to Loki when he holds his hand out, and looks around Loki's apartment a bit.

Not that there's much to see. The apartment itself is perfectly nice, Thor hasn't seen any glaring building code violations or anything like that, it's just... plain. Almost empty. There's an old futon against one wall with a cheap, flimsy looking coffee table in front of it, and that's it for furniture. He's got a lap top open on the table, playing music. No TV to be seen. But pinned on the wall where'd you'd expect one is a few neatly hung rows of fancy coloring book pages. It makes Thor smile.

“My therapist suggested the coloring books,” Loki explains, pulling Thor's attention to the kitchenette. “Just for something to do that wasn't, like, a huge investment and wouldn't make me feel-” Loki stops short, mouth snapping shut.

“I like what you've done with them,” Thor says when it seems Loki isn't going to finish that thought.

“It's something, I guess,” Loki says with a shrug.

Thor strolls over, leaning against the refrigerator. He watches the side of Loki's face, noticing the tenseness in it that matches his shoulders. Thor reaches out – he can't help himself, he's missed touching Loki – and runs his fingertips up Loki's spine, the thin fabric of Loki's shirt catches on his callouses. A sigh passes Loki's lips, eyes flickering back to Thor.

Thor smiles, pushing Loki's hair aside to run his knuckles along the side of Loki's neck and jaw. “Thanks for having me over.”

Loki reaches out with the hand that isn't stirring, grabbing Thor's shirt and tugging him closer. Thor's happy to press himself to Loki's side, draping an arm around his shoulder and nuzzling him. _He smells so good_. He smiles with his nose pressed to Loki's temple. _He really did miss him a lot_.

“It should be done in a couple minutes,” Loki says after giving the noodles a stir.

“Need my help with anything?” Thor offers.

“Uh, could you get the plates?” Loki says, gesturing to the cabinet in the corner.

“Sure.” Thor kisses Loki's temple before pulling away.

Loki grabs the wine, glancing back to make sure Thor didn't get a look inside his borderline barren fridge. It's like every second they go farther in to this date that Loki realizes he has something horrifically embarrassing to contend with. He hasn't even changed out of his greasy work clothes, goddammit.

“There are cups in there too,” he says, setting the bottle aside.

“Got 'em.”

Loki nods. He grabs the big pot of noodles and carries it the step and a half to the sink to drain it.

“Need any help with that?”

Loki shakes his head. It _is_ a bit of a trial trying to keep it steady with one hand and hold the lid open a sliver, and he kind of wishes he'd taken Thor's offer about three seconds after saying no. And even though Thor isn't _watching_ , it still feels like he is. Heat creeps up his cheeks while he starts to really struggle. With the way his therapy session went and how he always feels a little _off_ a few days after his heat, his arms are trembling and weak – weak _er_.

Loki yelps when his grip slips and the _extremely fucking hot_ the pot glances the inside of his arm, the loud clatter as he drops it in to the sink adding to his panic. Before he realizes it he's on the floor and his vision is blurring with tears and he wants to just fucking crawl in a goddamn hole and die–

Thor's at his side at once, and Loki still flinches despite how gentle his touch is. Loki keeps his eyes down, not wanting to see the look on Thor's face. _He's gone and fucked everything up, can't even drain fucking noodles for fucks sake, how fucking stupid can he be, and now he's on the fucking floor sobbing about it like some goddamn idiotic toddler_ -

“It's okay,” Thor says, not able to totally hide the shock from hearing Loki's tirade, from how quickly this whole thing turned sideways, and he doesn't even know what set Loki off. “It's really okay baby.” He hugs Loki to his chest as gently as he can, thankful when Loki's venomous words turn in to whimpers.

“I'm sorry.” Loki's voice is so thin and wobbly, utterly heartbreaking in an way Thor couldn't have imagined.

“It's okay,” Thor repeats, petting Loki's head. “It just was an accident.”

Loki lets out another pitiful sob, shoulders shaking. Thor's not sure what to do, so he just keeps holding Loki and begins to rock, hoping that the motion might be soothing. He keeps going until Loki pushes away. The mix of shame and fear on his tear-streaked face makes the ache in Thor's chest sharper. He reaches out, slowly, to run his fingers through Loki's hair.

“Did you get hurt?”

Loki sniffs and looks down at himself, turning his arm over to reveal an arch of red marring the pale skin on the inside of his forearm. Loki drops his hand back in to his lap, his face twisting.

“You should go put a cool water on that,” Thor says, rubbing Loki's back. “I'll clean this up.”

“You don't have to-”

“It's fine,” Thor insists, “I want to.”

Loki stays there, eyes jumping everywhere and chin wobbling.

Thor takes his face in both hands, forcing Loki to meet his eyes.

“It's okay,” he says once more, gentle but firm, and plants a very light kiss on Loki's lips before letting him go. He helps Loki off the floor and waits until Loki's in the bathroom with the door closed before turning back to the mess.

He starts by going to the stove to turn the heat off and move the saucepan on to a different burner. He picks the pot and it's lid out of the sink, setting them on the counter. Next is the noodles and (still a bit hot) water. He runs some cold water before scooping the noodles up by hand and tossing them in to the garbage, back and forth until there's nothing left behind. He pauses when there's a quiet sob from behind the bathroom door, frowning deeply at the sound. He sighs as he tears off some more paper towels, wiping up the water that spilled on to the counter. He tosses them in the garbage bin too before walking over to the closed bathroom door, knocking on it lightly.

“Loki-baby, are you alright?”

There's a loud sniff from the other side and the door squeaks open. His face is still all red, cheeks and eyes wet.

“Sorry,” Loki lets out in a watery croak.

Thor reaches out and cups his cheek, wiping away wet tear trails with his thumb. Loki lets out a breath in a warm gust, eyes low. Unsure of what to say(or if he _should_ even say anything), Thor leans forward and brushes his lips against Loki's temple.

Loki pulls away, looking unsteady. “I need to change.”

Thor nods, letting his hand fall away and taking a step back so Loki can slink in to the room adjacent to the bathroom. Thor catches a glimpse of Loki's bed, but it's dark so he can't see much more than that. He pulls his phone from his pocket, thumb hovering over the screen while he briefly contemplates calling his mom. He's feeling a bit lost here and he can't help but think she'd know what to do. He heaves a sigh, shoulders slumping. He looks up nearby restaurants instead, flicking through a couple menus as he walks to the futon and plops on to it.

Loki comes out of the bedroom a minute later, baggy jeans traded out for a pair of deep grey sweatpants and his hair all swept up in a bun. Thor knows he's miserable, but he can't help the way he suddenly and _desperately_ wants to cuddle him.

“This is all I have clean,” he explains with a shaky voice and a heavy sniff, tugging on the hem of his t-shirt roughly. “Sorry.”

“Don't be, you look great,” Thor says in reply, smiling softly, but the words seem to pass through Loki.

He frowns as Loki sits on the other end of the futon. He looks heartbroken and so terribly _small_ , a faint tremble running through his reedy limbs. He just wants to hug Loki so bad right now. Thor sets his phone on the coffee table and dares to move closer, going slow to keep from scaring Loki.

“Sorry about fucking up everything,” Loki says, thick and watery.

“But you didn't” Thor says, running the backs of his fingers down Loki's arm. “It was an accident.”

Loki exhales with a harsh sigh, rubbing his face roughly with both hands. “I should've just let you help when you asked, I know how weak I can get after a heat, I was stu-”

Loki's eyes dart back to Thor after he stops short, remembering the horrified look that crossed Thor's face earlier. Thor's frown deepens a fraction, reaching up to caress Loki's cheek.

“Sorry,” he says again. He just can't keep from ruining their date for five goddamn minutes...

“You don't need to be,” Thor whispers insistently, his hand dropping from Loki's face to grab one of Loki's. “Did you have a bad day at work?”

Loki sniffs, slumping forward, resting his head in his other hand. “Not really,” he answers.

Thor frowns again, eyes studying him like he's trying to read a book written in a different language.

“I went to therapy today,” Loki blurts out, “it was... rough.”

Understanding washes over Thor's face at that, his expression turning _painfully_ sympathetic. “Oh, babe, I'm sorry.”

Loki shrugs his shoulder. He's exhausted. Thoroughly wrung out.

Thor shifts next to him, again a second later. He's _fidgeting_. Loki waits for it, sighing, wondering what vague excuse he'll give for needing to leave. He knows Thor doesn't have to go to work tomorrow, so that's _probably_ out.

He closes his eyes when he hears the little intake of breath. He gets it, really- He should've postponed until he was in a better mood or something- He just... He really _missed_ Thor.

“Do you want me to hold you?” Thor says, to Loki's utter surprise.

Loki looks at him, shocked and more than a little apprehensive.

“Can I?” Thor asks when Loki doesn't answer. “You kinda look like you need it,” he adds with a small, crooked smile.

Loki's breath hitches, hesitating for another moment before scooting closer. Thor eagerly wraps his arms around him, squeezing him gently to his chest. _It feels good_. Loki twists around, burying his face in to the side of Thor's neck and tangling his fists in to his shirt. Thor reaches over and drags Loki's legs on to his lap, running his other hand up and down Loki's back.

 _It feels so good._ Loki begins sobbing again, heavy, heaving sobs that make his whole body jerk. Thor... just keeps on holding him.

“It's okay,” Thor soothes, planting a kiss on Loki's shoulder. It makes Loki cry harder. He wants to believe Thor, he wants to believe him _so badly_.

Loki clings almost viciously on to him, shivering and choking with every sob. His eyes, his throat, his head, _everything_ hurts. Thor's arms tense when he tightens his hold on Loki a fraction. _He's so solid and warm_. Loki presses himself harder in to the firm wall of muscle that is his torso. He keeps holding Loki, alternating between kissing his shoulder or his cheek.

He doesn't know how long they sit there for, but it's pretty dark in the living room before his mind calms down... or rather, tires out. He's still sniffling and trembling when he finally has the wherewithal to pull back and look at Thor's face, lit softly by the bluish light coming from his laptop. Thor gives him a gentle smile, reaching up to push back a lock of hair from his face.

“Sorry for crying all over you,” Loki says again, meekly.

“Well, I did kind of blubber all over _you_ on our last date,” Thor chuckles, “so how about we just call it even?”

Loki manages to laugh at that and Thor's smile brightens about ten watts.

Thor pulls him back in, gentle and slow, arms draped around Loki's waist. Loki sags against him, laying his head on Thor's shoulder and letting his tired, swollen eyes close. Music keeps filtering out of the weak speakers of his second-hand laptop, just enough background noise to keep it from being uncomfortably quiet, but not enough to block out the swish of Thor's breathing. It's steady and soothing, his body rising and falling with Thor's chest.

Thor smiles when he realizes Loki's fallen asleep. The tightly clenched fist that's been hanging on to his t-shirt falls away, the rest of him going slack in Thor's arms. He adjusts himself as much as he can with out jostling Loki, getting comfortable on the unforgiving futon before resting his head lightly on top of Loki's. He looks out through the sliding glass doors, where he can see a few stars peeking beyond the shadowy silhouettes of the trees.

 

* * *

 

Loki's mind is sticky and slow as he wakes up. The only thing that's even close to be clear is that his nose is so full of Thor's scent that he can nearly taste him.

It's not a bad way to wake up.

He squirms and stretches, sluggishly realizing that he's still all balled up on Thor's lap. Thor hums, the low noise vibrating against Loki. The arm on Loki's waist squeezes him for a second as he stretches before releasing with a heavy sigh.

Loki pulls away, his forehead sticking against the side of Thor's neck with sweat, squinting and blinking as he looks around. The screen of his laptop has gone dark, leaving them with only the dim, yellow light coming from the lamp on the range vent in the kitchenette and the grayish-blue light bleeding from outside. It's enough to make out the sleepy-smile on Thor's face.

“What time is it?”

Thor hangs on to him with one arm and he leans over and nabs his phone off the table, tapping on the screen to bring it back to life. His eyebrows shoot up as he reads off the time. “Eleven-thirty-six.”

Loki lets out a heavy sigh. He feels like he should be pissed at himself(again), but he's still too groggy to manage it. “Sorry about dinner,” he says. He isn't tired enough to not feel guilty.

“It's not a big deal, honestly,” Thor says as he reaches up and pushes back the hair that fell out from Loki's bun.

Loki still can't help but frown a little though.

“What if we just ordered something?” Thor suggests, “I'm sure there are at least a few places around here that do late night deliveries, and I mean, it _is_ Friday.”

“My treat?” Thor adds when Loki gives him nothing but a shrug.

“I was supposed to-” Loki stops short with a gesture of his hand towards the kitchen.

“I know,” Thor says mildly. It sounds vaguely like he's trying to negotiate with a wild animal and fresh waves of _shame_ and _guilt_ wash over Loki again.

Loki lets out a laugh entirely devoid of happiness or humor and rubs his eyes way too roughly. He's not going to start crying again this second, but it feels like it's building up to it and he hates himself for that.

“I couldn't do one stupid fucking thing,” he spits out before he can think to keep it back, “and I cried all over you instead.”

“Loki.”

Thor doesn't sound angry, or even annoyed really, he sounds sad. Loki feels himself starting to choke up again, and he whacks himself in the face to try and stop it.

“Loki,” he repeats with more force, grasping Loki's wrist and holding it away from him. Loki glances at him, flinching at the look on his face and looking away again.

There's a tense moment and then Thor releases his wrist, wrapping both arms around Loki's shoulders to pull him in close.

“I didn't come here for the _food_ ,” Thor starts, voice low and tender, “even if everything had gone absolutely perfectly, dinner was still going to be the last thing on my mind.”

Loki lets out a scoff of laughter. Thor does too a second later.

“And _by that,_ I mean that I am just happy to get to spend time with you, everything else is second.”

The corner of Loki's mouth flickers upward, warmth spreading through his chest.

“And, _despite_ what you might be thinking, I'm still glad I came over tonight.” Thor gives Loki another squeeze. “I hate the thought of you being all alone and feeling like this.”

Loki frowns, pressing his face back in to the side of Thor's neck.

“So,” Thor says a few minutes later. The silence and the constant running up and down of Thor's hands along his spine lets Loki calm back down. “You want to order food? Make something? None of the above?”

Loki lets out a heavy sigh. Just the thought of food makes him kind of queasy. “I don't know...”

“Whatever you want,” Thor says after a long pause, encouragingly.

“I'm just-” Loki sniffs. His head is throbbing. “I'm just really _tired_.”

“I understand,” Thor says, “we can try this again another night.”

There's an inexplicable flutter of panic in Loki's chest, his hand tightening in Thor's shirt. Thor raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“I don't want you to go,” he blurts out.

Thor smiles, chest puffing out. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Loki laughs at himself. “I... I just want you to keep holding me, to be perfectly honest.”

Thor beams, chuckling lightly and giving Loki a squeeze. “That's good, because I like holding you.”

There's silence as Loki contemplates the stiffness in his muscles, the twinge of pain in his neck from his little nap. He gnaws his lip while studies Thor. There's a battle going on in his head, one voice saying _do it_ while the other comes up with a million scenarios for why he shouldn't. Thor stares back, waiting for Loki to speak.

Loki climbs out of Thor's lap, grabbing his hand. He looks back when Thor hesitates, smiling softly at the bewildered look he's giving Loki. He gives Thor's hand a firm tug and Thor finally gets up, letting Loki lead him around the apartment. He closes the curtains and shuts off the lamp in the kitchen with Thor at his back. And then he leads Thor to his bedroom.

There's an anxious flutter in Loki's belly as they walk in to the dark room, scantly lit by the moonlight flitering through the blinds. He freezes for a moment. _He has Thor in his bedroom._ His stomach flips and heat washes over his skin. He can't tell if he's nervous or excited.

“Loki?”

Loki jumps, spinning around to face Thor. The look on his face is open, waiting for Loki to make a move. He relaxes. He smiles despite the trembling in his arms. He tugs Thor closer, their chests bumping as their lips meet. Thor uses his free hand to cup the side of Loki's neck, his thumb tracing his jawline.

Loki pulls away just enough to speak, his words coming out in a stuttered whisper. “You can, um, get comfortable.”

Thor smiles, planting another quick kiss before releasing him. Loki backs up, trying not to stare as he pulls down the blanket and shuffles under it. But he can't help it when Thor tugs his shirt over his head. He's doing it blatantly when Thor unfastens his jeans and shoves them down his legs a second later. Even in the dark he's impressive looking, thick with muscle and his hair falling around his broad shoulders.

It takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize Thor's grinning back at him, standing there with his hands on his hips in his _well fitted_ boxer briefs so Loki can get his fill.

“ _Shut up_.”

Thor lets out a chuckle, pulling off his socks before carefully climbing in beside Loki. The cheap mattress squeaks and whines with every move, but it doesn't seem to matter to Thor. He settles on to his back with a sigh, arm open in an offer to Loki. He takes it, plastering himself against Thor's side and laying his head on Thor's chest.

Thor hums, Loki can hear it vibrating through his ribs, and squeezes his arm around Loki's shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Thor reaches out and carefully pushes back the wavy lock of hair laying across Loki's cheek and lips. His hand lingers, caressing the side of his face ever so lightly. The corner of Loki's mouth twitches as Thor's fingers graze the top of his brow.

Last night didn't go how he could have ever expected, but he's happier than maybe he should be about it. He can still hardly believe that he's in Loki's bed, trusted enough to be somewhere where he's so vulnerable and it makes his heart swell with happiness.

The sun filters through the half-opened blinds, giving Thor plenty of light. He turns to his side, venturing a little closer to where Loki's lays splayed out with his shirt rucked up to expose his flat, pale belly, his hair a mess barely contained by the elastic still in it. He resists the urge to kiss his throat and belly, since that might not go over too well, but he spends some time imagining it. Vividly. Using his lips to travel up from where the faint trail of hair starts below his belly button and up to his long, beautiful neck. He can practically hear Loki's soft, needy sighs, can envision how he would squirm at the sensation and the rise and fall of his chest speeding up as he gets more turned on.

Thor has to shove his face in to the pillow to muffle his groan when his cock throbs. He's quick to shift his hips and cover himself with the blanket when Loki begins to stir. He twists and moans in a way that makes Thor's cock throb again. And the sleepy smile he gives Thor when he opens his eyes makes his heart flutter.

“Good morning, gorgeous.”

Loki laughs, hiding his face behind his arm and turning away. “G'morning.”

Thor can resist it anymore. He scoots closer, reaching out and dragging Loki to meet him halfway and hoping he doesn't take the presence of his hard on the wrong way. He nuzzles the back of Loki's neck, which sets him off in to a fit of squirming that does nothing to help with the current condition of Thor's cock.

“What time is it?” Loki asks, the groggy rasp to his voice making Thor feel downright tingly.

Thor turns his head, smiling when he spots the stuffed cat from the fair next to the alarm clock. “Nine seventeen.”

Loki hums and nods his head, eyes closed with a soft smile on his face. So pretty.

“When do you have to go to work today?”

“I have to be there by one,” Loki answers.

Thor grunts, squeezes the arm he as around Loki's waist and wriggles the other under the pillows, so there's no empty space between them. He presses his nose to the nape of Loki's neck, sniffing it deeply. He smells so _good_.

There's something about that that gives him pause. He sniffs him again, searching for something. It's not there.

“I can't smell him on you anymore,” he mumbles, nose still buried in Loki's hair.

He goes still in Thor's arms, head turning up to look over his shoulder. “What?”

Thor tears his face away from Loki's hair and his magnetizing scent, repeating himself more clearly. “I don't smell the bond on you anymore.”

“Really!?” Loki practically spins around to face him, forcing Thor on to his back as he hovers over. He can see the tears begin to well up in Loki's eyes. “Are you serious?” he asks, frantic and voice shaking.

Thor feels a little nervous as he nods his head yes. Watching in bewilderment, tears spring from Loki's eyes and he falls back on the bed, covering his face with his hands and letting out something halfway between a laugh and a cry.

“Loki? Are you alright?”

Loki doesn't seem to hear him, hands still covering his face and making those weird laugh-cries. He waits until Loki calms down a little before reaching out and touching his arm.

Loki looks over at him, seeming to realize Thor's confusion. “Sorry, I'm happy, I swear.”

Thor relaxes, smiling as he drags Loki in for a celebratory cuddle. “I'm so happy for you.”

Loki is absolutely beaming – which after last night makes Thor feel ten kinds of happy – surging forward to crush their mouths together while he practically winds himself around Thor. Thor moans in to Loki's mouth, pressing his hand to the small of Loki's back so their bodies are touching as much as possible while the arm under Loki's head keeps it in place as his lips ravish Loki's.

Loki pulls back with a big smile, wiping at his damp cheeks and taking deep, heaving breaths. He can hardly believe it. _He's free_. Completely and indisputably free. He can hardly wrap his mind around it – and sure, being truly mate-less is sort of terrifying but, fuck, it feels so good knowing he's gone. He feels so light. He could probably fucking fly right now if he tried.

And there's Thor, looking like the finest cut of beef and trying to act like he hasn't been sporting a relentless hard-on since Loki woke up. He's barely moved in the last ten minutes, what a gentleman.

Loki laughs at himself, and just because, leaning in to slot their mouths together again. He swings his leg around Thor's hip as he shoves himself forward, forcing Thor on to his back. He straddles Thor's hips, biting his lip as he carefully settles his weight down on top of him. Thor's chest and cock jump at the same time. Loki can feel it through his sweatpants, his own cock twitching as his cunt clenches around nothing. Loki gives one good, long, slow roll of his hips, making Thor hiss as his cock visibly throbs in it's cotton prison.

“Loki,” Thor says tightly, his hands shooting up to grab Loki's hips. His tight grip is simultaneously thrilling and terrifying, pulling a full body shiver out of Loki.

Loki does sober up a bit, his smile waning. Thor's hands ease up on him, sliding up to grasp his waist.

“Sorry,” Loki says automatically, letting out a small, uncomfortable laugh. “I got excited, I guess.”

Thor gives him a sympathetic smile, thumbs sweeping over his t-shirt. “That's okay, I just don't want to accidentally push it too far, you know?”

Loki nods, letting Thor tug him down on to his chest, head nestled in to the crook of Thor's neck.

“We haven't talked about that in a while, actually,” Thor muses.

Loki lifts his head, face hovering above, his loosened bun flopping forward.

“About what you're comfortable doing right now,” Thor explains.

Loki gnaws on his lip, sitting back up on his knees.

“I've been liking, um, where we're at,” Loki answers slowly, “but I do want to do more.”

“Like what?”

Loki takes a deep breath, eyes raking down Thor's chest. “Everything,” slips past his lips.

He freezes, but Thor lets out a soft, good-natured chuckle that keeps the panic at bay, but doesn't do much to stop the heat from rushing to Loki's face.

“Well, we can work our way up to _everything,_ but probably not on a workday.”

Loki laughs at that, rubbing his face harshly. “You make me all stupid and horny.”

Thor lets out with a belly laugh, “I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not.”

“Yeah, you definitely don't _feel_ sorry,” Loki says with a grind of his hips.

Thor groans, eyes fluttering while his hands tighten on Loki's waist.

Loki smirks to himself, feeling emboldened by Thor's reactions. He bends forward to kiss his way up Thor's chest, lifting his head to brush his lips against Thor's, his hips moving in small circles.

“I feel very comfortable doing this right now,” Loki murmurs in to Thor's mouth.

Thor stays very still, a tight groan rising from his chest.

Loki chuckles, pressing himself more firmly in to Thor's lap. He thrills at the way Thor's body responds, muscles twitching and the sharp hiss as he inhales through his teeth. Loki grinds down harder, the feeling blunted through his sweatpants. That's not going to do.

Loki suddenly lifts off Thor's lap and gets off the bed entirely, hands going to the waistband of his sweatpants and shoving them down his hips. Thor watches the fluid movement with a particular hunger he's never felt before, mouth watering at the sight of tented breifs and the scent of Loki's sex hits him. He has his hands on Loki as soon as he's climbing back on Thor, lips colliding as he greedily drags his hands along the clammy, warm skin of those long legs he's been thinking about constantly. Loki whines in to his mouth, knees sliding farther as his hands run over Thor's chest.

Loki rolls his hips in a long, fluid motion, feeling the damp heat of Loki's cunt drag over his cock through his boxers drags up something primal in Thor, the rest of the world gone in a puff of smoke and all his focus zooming directly on to Loki. His body moves on it's own, muscle straining as he sits up, while his mouth makes it's way to Loki's throat. Loki's head falls back with a moan when Thor's lips latch on to his skin, legs clumsily wrapping around Thor's hips and hands tangling in Thor's hair. Thor's hands find themselves under Loki's t-shirt, groping at everything. Loki makes a fantastic strangled sound when Thor's fingers graze his nipples, so they stay there, teasing them relentlessly.

Loki's grip on him tightens, rolling of his hips with an unsteady, desperate rhythm. Without thinking, Thor reaches between them, blindly fondling the stiff cock hidden under a thin layer of cotton. It feels long but not terribly thick, but what's better is the full body tremble he gets when he squeezes it and drags his hand down the length of it. His hand searches lower, groaning in to Loki's skin when he manages to twist his arm just right and squeeze his fingers between his own cock and Loki's groin, feeling the heat and wetness seeping through Loki's underwear. His teeth pinch in to soft skin as he envisions sinking his cock in to it, fingers rubbing and pushing against the fabric with insistence.

“ _Thor, Thor, Thor,_ ” Loki chants, voice cracking and hips bucking wildly in Thor's lap.

Thor's straining muscles force him to lay back down, but the view it provides only intensifies the ache in Thor's cock. Loki's thighs twitch as he sloppily grinds against Thor, arms shaking, cock looking ready to burst through it's prison. Thor reaches forward, taking a hold of Loki's hips with one hand to even out his rhythm, the other stroking his cock through his underwear.

On a down-stroke the head of Loki's cock manages to push past the thin elastic waistband. Thor rubs the sticky-slick head with the pad of his thumb.

Loki yelps out “ _yes!_ ” at the touch, one of his hands shooting over to his to keep it in place. Thor grunts, daring to push Loki's underwear down a little farther to stroke him properly. Loki's mouth hangs open, eyes drooping and hips grinding at a frantic pace. He tenses suddenly, arching with a long, choked off moan as he comes all over Thor's fist. Thor's hands grab on desperately to Loki's hips to keep them moving, trying to chase the building tightness in his groin.

Thor lets loose a deep groan when he feels Loki's hand shove past the waistband of his underwear to wrap around his cock and begins stroking it. He lets go of Loki to prop himself up on his elbows to watch Loki's hand move over him, his heart thumping harder at the sight of it.

“Is that good?” Loki asks, breathless, hand swirling around the head of his cock before sliding down the shaft again.

Thor replies with a sob and vague thrust of his hips.

Loki gives him a small smile, leaning forward to lay a hot, messy kiss on Thor's lips.

It doesn't take long after that, the combination of... _all of it_ making it far too easy for Loki to send Thor careening over the edge. He digs his heels in to the hard bed – hips twitching and fucking in to Loki's fist with short thrusts – as he releases a, to be frank, ridiculous amount of cum. A good portion of which spurts on to Loki's shirt.

Thor sags in to the bed with bone-deep satisfaction, and exhaustion. He watches hazily as Loki tucks his cock back in to his boxer-briefs, then spends a moment contemplating before pulling off his soiled shirt and tossing it to the floor.

Loki looks down at him nervously and there's a slight twinge of fear in Thor's belly at the thought of Loki regretting what they just did.

“What is it?” Thor asks, hoping it isn't _that_.

“Can I-” Loki barely manages to stammer out, hands gesturing at Thor.

It takes a moment for Thor's foggy brain to make out what he's asking for, and he smiles when he finally manages it. He reaches out and practically drags Loki on top of him, winding his tired arms around him.

What just happened hits him, and the flutter in his heart ramps up ten fold. He can't help but let out a _giggle_. Loki starts up a second later, and before long they're both shaking with laughter.

It feels like a dam has been broke, and now Thor can't stop touching Loki everywhere. Running his fingertips in different shapes and patterns all over Loki's back, sliding his palms heavily down his sides – almost reaching his knees before dragging them back up. He's trying to commit the feeling of this to his memory.

“Does it bother you?” Loki stammers, voice all quiet and meek again.

Thor furrows his brow, trying to look at Loki but only getting a view of his hair. “What?”

“The hair.”

Thor frowns. “The hair?”

“On my legs,” Loki explains, moving one for emphasis.

Thor blinks, still confused. “No?” he says, “why would it bother me?”

“Oh, I was just wondering.”

Maybe it's because he's still a bit drunk off his orgasm, but he feels the need to pry. “What's the matter?”

Loki shrinks, shoulders up around his ears. “I was just wondering.”

“Loki?” Thor stops his constant petting and grasps Loki's waist, pushing Loki up to look at his face.

Loki forces his hands away as he sits back up on Thor's hips.

“I know it happens to a lot of omegas and it's probably not that big of a deal, but,” Loki says, voice a stronger than it was a minute ago, but shaky, “my parents and my- _whatever_... kind of made me act – _well_ , my parents more than Svad – kind of forced me to act like a girl when I was growing up, like, made me wear dresses and skirts and all that...”

Thor hums in understanding, touching Loki's hands where they rest on Thor's belly. Loki pulls away, sitting beside Thor and crossing his legs.

He stares down at his lap for a few long minutes, thinking. Thor stays quiet, sighing internally at the picture Loki creates, face tense with concentration, hair sagging out of the bun hanging limp off the side of his head.

He looks back at Thor and asks, “does it really not bother you?”

Thor sits up, meeting him eye-to-eye. “It really doesn't, honestly, it's just hair to me.” He gestures to himself. “I mean, look at me, I'm covered in the stuff.”

Loki lets out a scoff of laughter and looks back down at his lap, gnawing on his lip. Thor leans forward, resting his head on Loki's shoulder and laying a hand on his thigh. _It's very soft hair,_ he thinks.

“Did your parents ever do stuff like that? Sort of made you act like... a different person?”

Thor's mouth quirked in to a frown. “Unless you count them forcing me to not be a total jackass, no.”

Loki smiles at that, but he stays quiet and subdue.

“Can I tell you something?”

Loki looks up at him, eyebrow twitching upward.

“I think your parents are total assholes,” Thor says. “I know you haven't told me much about them, but it's all I need to know that.”

A smile twitches on Loki's lips.

Thor leans in, cupping Loki's cheek to pull him in for a kiss. “The only reason I can even tolerate their existence is because they made you, and I really, really like you.”

There's a sniff and a couple tears rolling down Loki's cheeks.

“And I mean that,” he finishes, planting another kiss on his cheek.

His hand falls to Loki's arm, gently tugging it as he lays back down, dragging Loki with him.

 

* * *

 

The time moves way too fast and before long Loki's having to get ready to go to work, and after Thor gets himself dressed and Loki's off in the shower, he gets the idea to make something for breakfast. (It's his specialty, and he's been dying to prove that to Loki.)

He scrunches his nose as he gets in the kitchen and catches a whiff of last night's forgotten spaghetti sauce. He dumps that in the sink and fills the pan with water and soap to soak before setting out on his task.

He opens the fridge and, aside from the cheesecake slices Thor brought, there's nothing but a handful of half-empty condiments, a half gallon of orange juice with half glass left in it at best, and a few containers of yogurt. He blinks at it in shock. The freezer is slightly better, if you consider a stack of four frozen dinners _better_. Thor lets the freezer door shut and rubs his eyes, hard enough to see spots. _How long has Loki been living like this_ , he can't help but wonder.

Okay, Thor knew Loki didn't have much money. He works at a diner and, as nice as his boss is to him, it wasn't really what someone would call a well paying job. So, him not having much in the way of _things_ wasn't a shock. But this, _this_ is worrying. He glances at the bathroom door before going to look in the cabinets. The box of spaghetti noodles is there, and not much else. A few packets of Ramen and instant oatmeal in one, a box of hot chocolate shoved all the way back of the other.

Okay, but, he _does_ work at a diner. He's not _starving_ starving. He doesn't have bones protruding or anything like that...

That doesn't get rid of the sour taste in Thor's mouth.

He hears the shower stop and panics. He... He can't let Loki know that he knows he doesn't have any food. Not right now, at least. ( _But he doesn't have any food!_ ) He walks out of the kitchenette as fast and as quiet as possible, throwing himself on to the futon and snatching up his phone, pretending to be distracted by his three whole missed text messages when Loki steps out.

“Hey,” Loki says, surprised.

Thor is suddenly, _truly_ distracted by the vision of Loki in nothing but a towel. His skin is a little pink from the shower, and damp, bringing to mind quite a few things Thor probably doesn't need to be thinking about right this second.

“I thought you would've left?”

Thor stands, shoving his phone in to his pocket, hoping that he's not showing any obvious awkwardness as he walks up to Loki. “Well, I couldn't have gone without a goodbye kiss, could I?”

Loki laughs, “I guess not.”

Thor leans in, grasping a towel-covered hip and pressing their mouths together. He tries not to linger, but then Loki grabs on to his shirt when he tries to pull away, keeping him right where he is. Thor wraps Loki up in his arms, shuffling closer and pressing himself against Loki, hands sliding up the warm, soft skin of his back. Loki sighs in to his mouth, hands tangling in to Thor's hair-

Loki yanks himself away with a yelp, and Thor eyes automatically follow as he crouches down to pick his towel back up. Loki laughs as he stands, clutching the towel around his hips. “I guess that's my cue to get ready for work.”

“Yeah,” Thor sighs. “Call me when you get home?”

Loki nods. “I will.”

Thor smiles and reaches out to brush the hair back from Loki's face as he leans in, giving him one final peck of a kiss.

“Later.”

“Later,” Loki sighs, all dreamy and soft.

Maybe _one_ more kiss.

Okay, _two_ more.

Loki gives a halfhearted push to Thor's shoulder at the fourth, letting out a breathless laugh as he says, “You're gonna make me late.”

Thor grumbles as he forces himself back, grabbing up Loki's hand before it has a chance to escape and plastering kisses all over it, too.

“Thor,” Loki chides, still smiling and laughing. And _not_ pulling his hand away.

“Okay, okay.” Thor sneaks in one more peck to Loki's palm before letting go and moving with the utmost reluctance towards the front door. Backwards, so he can look at Loki for as long as possible.

Loki leans against the wall, looking so bright and happy as he watches Thor and he's just so fucking _gorgeous_.

“Hey, you stop that,” he warns, wagging a finger. “Don't make me come back there and kiss you again

Loki throws his head back with another laugh.

“Ah! There you go again!” Thor's back hits the door. “I mean it! And I won't be able to stop this time, I'll get stuck and you won't be able to pry me off, you'll have to try and make burgers with me attached to your face.”

“That sounds like a vast improvement to my day.”

“ _Ah ah!_ ” Thor wags his finger again, reaching behind his back with the other hand to grab the knob. “Don't tempt me.”

Loki lets out another bubbly laugh and Thor has to force himself out the door because he wasn't entirely joking. He can't help but peek around it one more time, though.

“Have a good day at work,” he says with a wink.

Loki bites his lip as he smiles. “I'll try.”

Something else dances on the tip of Thor's tongue, but it's way too soon for _that_ , so he holds it back and shuts the door.

The nasty smell in the hallway is just enough of a boot in the ass to get him to leave the rest of the way, too.

 

* * *

 

Loki's got the pillow Thor used the night before under his head, trying to capture the scent of him lingering on the fabric while he holds his up to his ear. It sort of scares him how much he misses having Thor in bed with him after one night. He can't seem to stop himself from feeling it, though.

Then, after a comfortable lull of silence, Thor sighs. It's one of _those_ sighs, and Loki's heart plummets while his head goes in to overdrive trying to figure out what he did to cause it, what signs he missed.

“Okay, this is... this is sort of difficult-”

Loki sits up, already falling in to an absolute panic. Everything was great when Thor left. Perfect, even. Too perfect. Oh god, he should have known, everything had gone way too smoothly after the whole fucking train-wreck that was the night before, Thor must've wanted to let him down easy-

“Can I buy you some groceries?”

Loki brain comes to screeching, grinding halt. “What?”

“When you were in the shower this morning I thought I'd make you something for breakfast and, well...” Thor explains.

Loki flops back down, shame and embarrassment burning through him, replacing all that panic from a moment ago. “It's not usually that bad,” he counters. If it sounds like a weak argument it's because it is.

“Babe, please, I know it makes you nervous, but I can't stand the thought of you having _nothing_ to eat.”

Loki snaps back with, “I get food at the diner.”

“I know,” Thor says, “but what if it's midnight and you just want some ice cream, or macaroni and cheese, or just... anything. ”

“It's way too much money.”

“It's not,” Thor says without hesitating, “I can spend an extra couple hundred bucks on food without any issue, I promise.”

Loki can't think of anything to say, letting his phone drop beside his head and covering his face with his hands.

“I know you're probably scared that I'm gonna use this to try to get you to have sex with me or something,” comes Thor's voice from his phone, “and I have no idea how I can prove that it's not what I'm trying to do, but I literally cannot tolerate knowing that you have no food when I can help, I just can't.”

“Please, Loki?”

Loki snatches the phone back up. “Okay, fine,” he says, sounding more angry than he means to.

He can hear Thor exhale with relief on the other end. “Thank you, honestly, this has been killing me all day.”

Guilt washes over Loki at that. “It's not- it's really not that bad.”

“It kind of is though.”

Loki gnaws on his lip, clenching and releasing his hands.

“So,” Thor exhales, “do you want to go with me, or, like, send me a list, or..?”

“I- I don't know,” Loki replies shakily.

“That's okay, babe, we'll figure it out.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another chapter that takes me two months to get done.... *sighs* I'M SORRY, OKAY!?!
> 
> I'm also sorry for being so bad about replying to comments too, just know that I love every one of them and give my screen uncomfortably long hugs after reading them.

Thor’s muscles tense up before his mind even has a chance to wake up, heart thumping in his ears as he shoots up on to his knees in middle of Loki’s creaky bed. He looks around the dark, blurry room, sluggishly trying to figure out what woke him up. Panic floods him at the sound of a pained whimper.

“Loki?”

He answers with a pitiful sob.

Thor’s eyes finally begin to focus, managing to make out the sheets that’ve been half-dragged off the bed, and following them to the lump in front of the dresser that they are haphazardly wrapped around. Thor carefully climbs out of bed and turns on the light, blinking as his eyes adjust.

Loki’s curled in a ball, head between his knees and hands cupped on the back of his head. Thor kneels in front of him, slow and careful, touching his knee lightly. Loki still flinches, but seems to relax when he looks up and sees him.

“Are you okay, baby?”

Loki’s face crumples, tears streaming down his eyes, and Thor's heart aches. Thor shuffles closer, sitting beside him and carefully wrapping his arms around his shoulders, shushing and rocking him. He gently nudges Loki’s hands off the back of his head, sliding his fingers in to his hair at the nape of the neck and carefully feels around his scalp. He feels a small lump that makes Loki twitch when his fingers brush it on the back of his head, lining up perfectly with the corner of the dresser they’re sitting in front of. He keeps one arm hugged around Loki while he moves Loki’s hair. He frowns at the little cut he finds on Loki’s scalp and lets Loki's hair fall, pressing a firm kiss to his temple before helping him off the floor.

“Shh, it’s okay now baby,” he soothes as he guides Loki to sit on the edge of the bed, wrapping the sheets back around him. “I’m gonna go get something for your head, just sit tight.”

Loki nods, trembling all over and weeping while Thor makes a mad dash for the kitchen, grabbing a handfull of paper towels and getting a few of them wet with cool water, his own hands trembling slightly from the adrenaline rush. He grabs a bag of frozen veggies out of the freezer, bringing it all back to the bedroom where Loki sits, looking haggard as he stares at the floor. Thor’s careful to keep his movements smooth and slow, not wanting to scare Loki any more than he already is.

He finds the cut again, dabbing at it with the wet paper towels first, before lightly pressing the dry ones to the still bleeding cut. He kisses the area next to it, using his free hand to rub Loki’s back.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Loki says with a weak, wobbling voice.

“Don't be.” Thor wraps his free arm around Loki’s waist, nudging Loki’s cheek with his nose before kissing it. He holds him like that for a while, before sitting up to check and see if the cut it still bleeding. He dabs at it a few more times with a clean paper towel, his eyes falling an inch or so away from it where his hair parts around another scar. It’s a slash about two inches long, perpendicular to the one he just got. Thor frowns, resisting the urge to run his thumb along the silvery-white skin, and wonders how it got there.

He can come up with too many ways, none that would do any good to think about right now, so he does his best to let it go and grabs the bag of veggies to soothe the lump. He has Loki hold it in place as he goes to the toss away the paper towels and turn the lights back off. He guides Loki to lay back down, turning him to lie facing Thor and tucking them both in, before taking over the bag holding duties.

“Nightmare?” Thor whispers.

Loki looks at him with watery eyes for a moment before nodding, body shaking as he starts sobbing again, burying his face in his hands and curling in to Thor. Thor presses a kiss to the crown of Loki’s head and drapes his leg over Loki’s, runs his hand up and down his back, hoping that it might bring Loki a little comfort.

He stays awake long after Loki’s calmed down and fallen back to sleep, which he expected. He feels wired, every little noise making his muscles twitch. He’s going to be dead on his feet tomorrow, but that’s nothing a little strong coffee can’t help with. He’s just glad that Loki’s sleeping soundly (as much as Thor can tell) in his arms.

The next time he wakes up, it’s to the sound of the alarm on his phone going off. Sluggishly, he pushes himself up and reaches up to grab it off the windowsill. The movement wakes Loki, and he groans, grabbing at the back of his head gingerly, the discarded bag of frozen veggies now warm.

“How’s your head feeling?” Thor asks.

“Sore,” Loki grumbles looking grumpy and far too cute given the circumstances. He looks up at Thor and sighs heavily. “You look exhausted.”

Thor lets out a breathy snort of laughter. “You do too, but I think just about everyone looks a little dead at five-thirty in the morning.”

A small smile crosses Loki’s face, falling a moment later. “I’m sorry about waking you up.”

“It’s fine, baby, you didn’t mean to.”

Loki’s eyes flutter shut as Thor leans down to kiss his cheek, shuddering against Thor as he takes a breath. Thor sees tears wetting his lashes when he pulls back.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Loki blinks his eyes open, sniffling as he nods. “Yeah.”

“Are you sure? I can call in and take the morning off if you want me too.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Loki whispers.

“But I can,” Thor counters, “it’s not a big deal, honestly.”

Loki looks at him, thinking. He gnaws on his lip and plays with a lock of Thor’s hair, twisting it around his index finger. He nods his head, slow and still a bit unsure.

Thor smiles, nuzzling at the hair at Loki’s temple and kissing there. “I’ll go call my foreman,” he says, grabbing his phone again and climbing out of bed. Loki watches him step in to the bathroom closing the door most of the way and turning the light on. He can hear the low, rumbling tones of his voice a moment later.

Loki’s shaken. Off-balance. The dream keeps replaying in snippets, all of it still too clear and way, way too close to real. Waking up with the feeling of Thor’s arm slung over him had him panicking at the thought that the past year had all been a dream instead. He’d thought Thor was Svad and it makes him feel sick to his stomach with guilt. He feels tears welling up in his eyes again, face hot with shame.

Loki is startled from his thoughts when he hears the toilet flush, sniffling and drying his face as much as he can before Thor comes back. He doesn’t look at Thor as he climbs back in to bed, scooting up next to Loki.

“Loki?”

Loki shakes his head, he’s not sure why. Thor pulls him closer just as the waterworks start up again, letting Loki sob all over his bare chest. Thor says sweet, soothing things to him, his tone so gentle and soft, which only manages to make Loki cry harder.

How could he possibly cry this much? Loki wonders, feeling miserable and guilty. He didn't cry this much when he was actually with Svad.

“I’m sorry,” he says, just in case.

“Shh baby, it’s okay.”

Loki shakes his head again, chest heaving with heavy sobs.

 

* * *

 

Thor’s puttering around in the kitchen, making them both breakfast, while Loki lays in bed starring aimlessly at the ceiling. He’s trying not to think about the dream any more, but it refuses to budge from his mind. He called Dr. Romanov’s office as soon as it was open, hoping she might be able to fit a quick phone session(which he can actually afford to do, with Thor buying his food) but her secretary told him she was booked up all day, but that he’d get a call if she had some time.

He’s not sure what to do now, he has to be at work in a couple hours, he can’t be on the verge of a breakdown all day.

Loki jumps when he hears a knock, looking up to find Thor in the doorway.

“Breakfast’s ready.”

Loki nods and Thor walks back to the kitchen. Loki drags himself out of bed, pulling on a soft t-shirt and a pair of sweats before heading to the living room. Thor’s got the coffee table all set up, two mugs of steaming coffee sitting side-by-side, with the sugar and creamer, and two plates of amazing smelling french toast and sausage. Loki feels like he could weep again at the sight.

He flops down beside Thor listlessly. The smell of cinnamon and vanilla and maple syrup manage to rev up his appetite.

“You like french toast, right?”

Loki nods, giving Thor a little smile. Thor smiles back, leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek.

They dig in. Loki feels like he’s slogging through mud as he cuts in to his breakfast with his fork, but when he finally gets a bite he groans, letting his head drop down on to Thor’s shoulder.

“Good?” Thor says with a chuckle.

“Yeah,” Loki replies with a watery laugh.

Loki starts feeling a little brighter after that. The coffee helps make him feel a bit more human. The dream is still lingering in the back of his mind, but he’s starting to feel distance from it.

“It was about him,” Loki says, wanting to get it out, so maybe it won’t be stuck in his head all day.

“Hm?”

“My dream.”

Thor hums and nods, his hands moving slower as he waits for Loki to continue.

“I was hiding,” Loki continues, cautiously, “inside a closet, I think. I could hear him banging around and I could feel the walls vibrating from how hard he was slamming shit around, and he just kept screaming for me-” Loki swallows around another lump forming in his throat, skin prickling with nerves, sniffling as Thor leans over and kisses his cheek. He only holds back one part, the wounds still too raw. “I woke up when he was about to find me.”

He takes a couple sips of his coffee, taking a moment to reign in his emotions. “I kind of freaked out when I felt your arm around me,” he adds with a huff of laughter and a shrug of a shoulder, trying to make it all seem less... serious. “I guess I wasn’t totally awake or something and flung myself out of bed.”

“I’m so sorry babe,” Thor says, giving Loki another kiss and squeezing Loki's knee.

Loki lets out another weak laugh and shakes his head. “No, you’re great, I’m just fucked up.”

Thor’s frowns and Loki feels guilt shoot through him again.

“Loki, you had a nightmare,” Thor says, “that’s not something you do on purpose.”

“I... I know,” Loki whispers. He grips his mug a little tighter.

Thor looks worried, and Loki can’t stop feeling awful for it.

“Do you believe me?”

Loki looks at him, confused.

“Do you believe what I’m saying?” Thor clarifies. “That I’m not annoyed about losing a little sleep or missing a half a day of work, and that I’m really not mad at you for having a bad night?”

Loki’s mind goes blank. His mouth hangs open, a tiny sound passing his lips. “I- I’m-”

Thor says softly, “I just want to make you happy.”

Loki’s vision blurs with tears, face going hot as he loses what little grasp he has on his emotions. “Why?”

Thor sets his plate down and pries the mug out of Loki's hands to hug him, pressing kisses to Loki’s hair. Loki sobs on to Thor's shoulder, his head throbbing.

“I don’t know,” Thor says when Loki's calmed down a bit, “because of that feeling I got when we met? Like, maybe it was meant to be.”

Loki sniffs and raggedly scoffs, “do you really believe that?”

“Well, I believe it more than I used to.”

Loki sniffles. He stares at the wall behind them.

“Do you believe it?”

Loki lets out a shaking sigh, body curling a little more deeply in to Thor’s embrace and pressing his face in to the side of Thor's neck. There is always something especially warm and solid about him, and, when Loki doesn't have a chance to overthink about fucking everything, something that always makes Loki feel comfortable and safe.

“Yeah,” he whispers.

Thor gives him a gentle squeeze, nuzzling his face in to Loki’s hair.

Thor pulls back, cupping Loki’s cheek and giving him a fond look. “Lets finish breakfast before it gets cold.

 

* * *

 

Loki spends a few long moments after Thor leaves just standing in the stillness of his apartment. Contemplates it. It seems especially empty, and not just from the lack of furniture and decor. It feels colder.

Loki frowns. He already misses Thor.

He grabs his phone.

_Can we do dinner again tonight?_

Thor’s reply comes in the form of a call.

The first thing he hears is Thor’s warm, hearty chuckle, settling some of the frayed wiring in Loki’s chest.

“I’m not even in my truck.”

“I just thought to ask.”

“Well, the answer is _of course_ , I’ll have dinner with you every night if you want to.”

Loki’s chest floods with warmth.

It sounds like Thor wants to say something else, so Loki waits.

When he doesn’t say anything for a few moments, Loki gets nervous.

“What is it?”

Thor lets out a soft, breathy laugh. “I’ve just been thinking, like, what if- maybe we can have dinner over at my place tonight?”

Loki blinks, brain scanning over the request. And then smiling.

“Or if you’re not ready for that, we can stick to your place, of course, it’s no big deal.”

Loki smiles to himself, hand idly touching around the sore lump on the back of his head. “No, actually, I’d like to come over to your place.”

 

* * *

 

Loki drums his fingers on the steering wheel. He hasn’t even started his car yet.

And he’s called Darcy and Sigyn about seven times too many.

Darcy told him he was letting his nerves get the better of him again. Sigyn basically agreed, but told him to not go over if he really has a bad feeling about it.

He picks up his phone again and decides to call Darcy just once more.

“I’m in the car,” he says as soon as she picks up, before she can get a word in.

“Well thank the Lord above! _Finally!_ ”

Loki laughs a little, covering his face with his hand.

“Sorry I keep bugging you with my stupid shit,” he groans.

“It’s not stupid, you’re just nervous.”

Loki sighs, rubbing his forehead.

“Have you tried calling Thor?”

Loki stays quiet for a moment and Darcy takes it (correctly) as a no.

“You say you feel less nervous when you’re actually with him, right? Why not give him a call? Maybe it’ll settle your nerves,” she suggests.

“And tell him what? That I’m nervous that if I go to his house that he’s going to turn in to an asshole?”

“Well, maybe not the ‘ _I'm afraid you’ll turn in to an asshole_ ’ part, but yeah? Or just like, something about the GPS on your phone sucking and you need help finding his place -- you’ll probably need to start driving for that – I don’t know.”

Loki gnaws on his lip, thinking it over.

“Loki, try calling him.”

Loki sighs. “Okay.”

“Good.”

“Sorry for bothering you again.”

“You’re not bothering me,” Darcy insists. “Have a nice night with Thor, okay? Tell him I said hi.”

“Okay.” he sighs.

Loki scrolls to Thor’s number, stares at the little hearts he put next to his name one night when he was feeling a bit overwhelmed with affection.

He presses call before he can manage to overthink doing _that_ too.

“Hey,” Thor answers pleasant and cheery. Loki instantly begins to settle down. “Everything okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m just-” Loki stammers, looking around the darkened parking lot, “I’m just kind of nervous.”

“Oh, well, if you’d rather have me come over, I can just finish up cooking and bring it over,” Thor offers. He doesn’t even hesitate or sound put-off.

Loki laughs, folding forward to rest his forehead on the wheel. “No, don't worry, I’m just being an idiot.”

He can _feel_ Thor frowning at him through the phone as soon as the words come out.

“I’ll be over soon, I just needed that, I guess.”

“Alright,” Thor says, easy and light, “dinner should be just about done when you get here.”

“Good.”

“See you in a bit,” Thor says.

“See you,” Loki replies.

Loki takes a deep breath after hanging up, the anxiety he was feeling minutes ago nearly gone.

Thor sets his phone down – on the counter across from the one he’s cooking on, he’s not making that mistake twice – and goes back to stirring. He frowns in to the pan, a twinge of something - maybe worry? or guilt? - from the thought of Loki being so nervous about coming over.

 _But_ , he thinks, _he has a bit of reason for that_. Right. _Let it go_. Either way, he’s coming over, all he needed was a little... confirmation. Something like that.

He taps his spoon and puts the lid on the pot to let things simmer, checks the rolls he’s got in the oven aren’t being burnt. And then all there’s left is to wait.

So, he takes a minute to check around his his little house to make sure it’s sufficiently tidy and seems inhabited by a capable adult. He puts on a little music, something sort of quiet and smooth, and turns off the brighter lamp in the living room for some better mood lighting.

There’s not much else to do beside that.

He frowns.

It looks a lot more boring when he has someone coming over he wants to impress. Someone who Thor wants to maybe consider one day making it his home too.

“Well, you wanted to keep it plain until you had someone whose input you wanted,” he mutters to the air.

He checks on the rolls again. This oven likes to get finicky.

Loki turns on the street Thor gave him, lined with decently kept ranch-style houses on either side. Everything has that lively sort of quiet. No one’s outside at this point in the evening, but you can see the light filtering through curtains and blinds. Hear the dogs barking from backyards.

His anxiety is creeping back up, fast. He keeps checking the text Thor gave him and squinting hard at the numbers on the mailboxes and front doors.

He pulls up to the house with the number Thor gave him, hesitating to the turn in to the driveway. He doesn’t see Thor’s truck, but the garage is closed and there is some dim light coming through the bay window at the front of the house.

He takes a deep breath and pulls in.

He sees Thor pop in to the window and lets it out with relief.

Thor’s in the doorway as soon as Loki’s got the car parked, greeting Loki with a big, broad grin.

“Hey,” Loki greets breathlessly as he goes up the concrete walkway that leads to the front door.

“Hey,” Thor says back, pulling Loki in and going for a quick kiss as soon as he’s within reach.

“I know, it’s not super exciting,” Thor says as he guides Loki inside, closing the door behind them, and Loki gets hit full on with Thor’s scent. It makes something deep in his belly flutter and head feel full of air. Thank fuck his heat is still weeks away.

“You got here just in time, dinner’s pretty much ready when you are,” Thor tells him while Loki gathers his bearings and slips his shoes off.

The smell of that seems to hit him from the mention, his belly grumbling this time. He then realizes he hadn’t eaten since Thor made him breakfast that morning. Oops.

“That’s good, since I’m apparently really hungry,” Loki says with a small laugh, patting his stomach.

“It’s beef stew and rolls, which is not super warm weather friendly, but I kind of blanked and it’s something I know how to make like the back of my hand.”

“Sounds good to me,” Loki shrugs, standing awkwardly just inside the house.

“Feel free to have a look around while I finish up,” Thor says, “and you can change the music if you want, or you can put something on the tv.”

Loki hums and shakes his head no. He likes this.

He steps forward carefully, as though the carpet might try and bite him, and looks around. The couch isn’t particularly stylish, but it’s big and invitingly squishy looking, with a mismatched recliner adjacent to it and a small table in between. Both of which are aimed at the television. The walls are all a plain, clean white, with shelves filled with framed photos and books and other bits and bobs. He walks over to take a closer look, eyes scanning across what looks to be years of photos, featuring a handful of the same faces that change and age with Thor. His eyes zero in on one in particular, it looks to be one of the older ones, with a very young looking Thor standing between an older couple who Loki can only guess to be his parents.

He straightens as he feels Thor step up behind him, leaning against him as Thor wraps an arm around his waist and rest his chin on Loki's shoulder.

Loki hums and nods. “Who is all this?” he asks with a gesture to the photos.

Thor smiles and happily explains who everyone is, and Loki laughs as he finally has faces to go with the stories Thor’s been telling him. And learns something new too.

“Why didn’t you mention Sif is an alpha?”

Thor looks a little sheepish as he shrugs. “I don’t know, just didn’t think about it, I guess.”

Loki narrows his eyes, smirking at him. “Is that why I haven’t met your friends?”

Thor stammers and Loki laughs.

“Are you worried she’s gonna steal me away?” Loki teases, “ooh, _no_ , you’re worried I’m gonna run off with her, aren’t you?”

“ _No_ ,” Thor protests vehemently, looking flustered. “I’m not- It’s just weird, neither of us has ever been serious with anyone-”

Loki’s laughs softens and he reaches up to cups one of Thor’s cheeks and kisses the other. “Don’t worry, we look too similar, it’d be like dating a mirror.”

Thor snorts turning to kiss Loki.

“C’mon, lets eat before the rolls get cold,” he says, taking Loki by the hand and spinning him around. “Go ahead and grab a seat.”

“You don’t need any help?”

“Got it all under control.”

Loki ambles over to the pretty little round table sitting in front of a set of sliding glass doors, taking one of the seats Thor’s set up. He slides his fingers up the smooth surface and looks around some more.

It feels homey. Easy and inviting. (More than a bit like Thor himself.)

Thor comes up and sets their bowls down and Loki’s stomach growls hard as the smells wafts in to his nose.

“This smells really, really good.”

Thor beams, sinking in to the other seat. “Old family recipe. Supposedly it brings good luck.”

Loki raises his eyebrows, his smile incredulous.

“Or maybe it’s supposed to help me get lucky.” Thor shrugs. “The story has gotten a bit muddled over the years.”

“Hm, that sounds more likely,” Loki says with a slow nod of his head, laughing when he can’t hold a straight face any longer.

Thor huffs with laughter and shakes his head. and Loki can’t wait a moment longer, shoveling a steaming bite in to his mouth and nearly melting in to the chair. “Oh my god, this is so good it might actually work.”

Thor punches his fist victoriously in to the air.

“I hope this means you’ll forgive me for skimping out and using store bought rolls.”

Loki deadpans, “oh you bastard, now you’ve ruined it. The spell is broken.”

“Damn,” Thor sighs, head drooping down.

“This really is delicious though.” Loki says, grabbing one of the rolls and tearing off a piece to dunk in to his bowl.

“Oh!” Thor's already popping back out of his seat and heading to the fridge. “What do you want to drink? Water? Beer? I think I’ve got a couple sodas too.”

“Beer sounds good.”

Thor grabs out a couple bottles and twists off the caps, setting them both on the table as he sits back down. Loki takes a long swig of it right away, hoping the alcohol will kill off the last of the nervous energy buzzing around in him.

“So, what’s the story?”

Thor’s brows furrow at him. “ _Hm?_ ”

“Why does the stew bring you good luck?”

“Oh,” Thor laughs, shaking his head. “Well, supposedly, my great-great-great-” Thor pauses, nose scrunching as he thinks “-great? grandmother was making this stew the night this guys car broke down in front of her house, and they ended up getting married a few months later, there’s a lot of stories like that. Even my mom likes to say it was the reason my dad ended up marrying her.”

Loki lets out a snort of laughter “So it does help you get lucky.”

Thor’s shoulders droop and he sighs. “You know, when my mom tells the story it sounds a lot more innocent.”

Loki throws his head back, cackling.

“I just think it tastes good!”

“Sure you do,” Loki teases, eyes narrowed playfully.

“Well then, I guess I finally get to see first hand if it works tonight.”

Loki laughs again, more quietly, his gaze meeting Thor’s. He doesn’t break off until he feels too warm, feels a tickle going down his spine. He aims his smile down in to his stew.

“Did work go okay?” Thor asks after they've spent a few minutes putting dents in to dinner.

“Yeah, it was pretty quiet,” Loki nods, “a new server started today, and I think another is supposed to come in next week, so I'll be back to sweating in the kitchen again. For a while, at least.”

“That's good to hear,” Thor says, smiling and reaching under the table to grasp Loki's knee.

“How about you? Was your foreman mad about you coming late.”

“Nah, I barely ever take off work so he really has no reason to complain.”

Loki feels relieved, nodding and taking another sip of his beer. He feels the alcohol starting to settle in, extra warmth flooding his cheeks and his limbs getting just a little looser.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asks, his voice especially quiet and soft.

Loki sighs, taking a moment to think it over. Some of the nightmare is still stuck in his head, popping in during quiet moments here and there, but it's mostly just a dream now. He slides his feet forward, wrapping them around Thor's, and smiles at him. “I'm feeling pretty good actually, but that might just be the stew is kicking in.”

Thor chuckles and rolls his eyes at him. He smiles fondly as he moves one of his feet so that one of Loki's trapped between his, and vice versa.

“How's your head?”

Loki scrunches his nose at that, automatically reaching back to the feel at the sore spot. “Still hurts, and washing my hair was a real bitch today.”

“Aww, baby.” Thor's face twists in sympathy. He leans forward and gives Loki a quick peck.

They meander on to other topics, telling each other little stories about what happened during the day when they were apart, which leads to other stories – mostly from Thor – and by the time they're finished eating and just about finished with their second beers Loki feels all warm and fuzzy. His head and limbs are light and fluttery. And Thor looks so good, cheeks all pink and cute. Loki leans in to nuzzle him, and Thor basically purrs, warm hands running all over Loki’s sides.

Loki moves to sit in Thor’s lap, and Thor seems happy to have him there, pulling Loki in tighter.

He dives in to ravage Thor’s mouth, hands groping Thor’s chest and shoulder. Thor groans in to Loki’s mouth, fingers tightening around Loki’s waist.

“What do you put in that stew?” Loki asks as he pulls away.

Thor laugh-groans, his head falling on to Loki’s shoulder. Loki laughs, kissing the top of Thor’s head and burying his nose in his hair.

Thor pats his thigh lightly, and Loki climbs out of his lap, wordlessly helping Thor clean up, picking up the rhythm they have when Thor’s over at his place.

When the dishes are piled in the sink and the the leftovers packed away, they end up standing in the middle of the kitchen, arms weaving around each other.

“So, you want to watch a movie or something?”

“Sure.”

The corner of Thor’s mouth rises, kissing Loki softly before letting his arms fall away to grab Loki’s hand and lead him in to the living room. He takes them to the recliner, flopping down on to it and gently tugging on Loki’s hand until he’s back in Thor’s lap. Thor reaches down, pulling on the leaver that makes the foot rest pop in to place.

“Comfy?”

Loki hums and snuggles in deeper.

Thor smiles draping an arm around his waist and grabbing the remote with the other, turning on the TV. Thor flicks through the channels for a while, finally settling on some house renovation show.

Loki has never seen someone get so genuinely annoyed at a TV show. Loki chuckles as Thor huffs and puffs and tells off the tv, listing off the things the couple - who, from the title of the show and by Thor’s estimation have no experience with building houses or using power tools – keeps doing horribly wrong.

“What the hell is he snapping at her for!? He’s the one who managed to almost make a ceiling cave in on him!”

“Okay, okay,” Loki says through a fit of giggles, stealing away the remote. “I’m cutting you off.”

“I _knew_ I shouldn’t have put that on.” Thor pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “Those shows always pisses me off.”

Loki clicks through the channels. Thor’s quiet now, face in Loki’s hair and humming happily. Loki finds some show where they just compile home videos and they spend an hour watching videos of cute animals and kids interspersed with clips of guys getting hit in the groin, with some other videos sprinkled in for variety. It’s completely stupid but they’re both wheezing with laughter anyway.

Thor yawns as the show cuts to a commercial break, and his eyelids look heavy. Loki’s feeling much the same, yawning just after Thor.

“It’s kind of late,” Loki mumbles.

Thor hums in agreement. His hand found it’s way under Loki’s shirt at some point, and now he’s rubbing circles on Loki’s waist.

Loki uses his arm against the headrest to prop himself up and look at Thor. “It would probably suck having to drive back home right now.”

“It probably would be.”

The smiles on their faces on their face grow simultaneously.

“You know, I have a perfectly good bed right over there,” he says, gesturing towards the hallway just beside the kitchen. “It’s very big and very comfortable.”

Loki hums, trying to look like he’s thinking about it.

“I think I should see this bed before making my decision.”

Thor chuckles, pushing the footrest down and letting Loki up. He takes Loki’s hand as he leads him down the hall, going to the door at the very end.

“The other ones are just filled with random crap right now,” Thor explains, gesturing to two of the other doors as they pass them. He opens the third at the end of the hall, flicking on the light as they walk in. The bed really is very big. Centered under a window that faces the backyard, it takes up a decent chunk of the room. And it’s blue-grey bedding looks so soft and inviting. Loki could swear it’s calling for him. Or maybe he’s just that tired.

“I splurged,” Thor says with a shrug, turning to face Loki . “I don’t like feeling my feet hanging off the end of the bed.” He bounces as he hops on to it, and Loki can’t help but notice the lack of wheezing springs.

Thor gives the space beside him an inviting pat. Loki crawls on, flopping down on his back and groaning as his body screams at him from relief.

Thor twists around to look at him, smirking. “Well?”

“You’re gonna have to pry me out of here.”

Thor laughs, leaning down to to kiss him. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.”

“I’ll be right back,” Thor says, pecking once more before pulling away and getting up. “Go ahead and get comfortable.”

Loki watches him walk back in to the living room, rolling up slowly as he listens to Thor turn off everything and lock the doors. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sets on the nightstand. He pulls off his socks and tosses them in to a little pile, his jeans and shirt joining moments after. Slips in under the blanket as Thor’s ambling around in the kitchen.

And then he realizes that he’s in Thor’s bed.

_He’s in Thor’s bed._

His belly does cartwheels and he shivers with nerves and excitement, squirming deeper under the comforter. Thor walks back in with a couple glasses of water, handing one to Loki and drinking from his own as he walks around to the other side. He pulls out his phone, tapping on the screen a few times before setting it and the glass down. And then he’s stripping down to his boxers and that’s always a good sight to see.

“Would you care if I turned on the fan?” he asks, “every little noise wakes me up if I don’t.”

Loki shrugs. “It’s fine.”

He watches Thor walk to the corner at the other end of the room, taking in the way each muscle moves under his skin. The soft hum of the fan fills the room, blowing Thor’s hair back as he adjusts it before shutting the light off and walking back to the bed.

Thor smiles at him as he slides in next to Loki.

They scoot closer, closing the gap between them inch by inch, until they’re tangled together. Their lips meet automatically, breathing softly through their noses as their hands skirt over skin.

Thor pulls back, laying his head on the pillow, their faces inches apart.

“Hi,” he says after a few long moments of staring at each other, smiling as he bites his bottom lip.

Loki shakes with almost silent laughter, closing the space between them and rolling Thor on to his back as he drags himself on top of his chest. Loki props himself up by planting an elbow beside Thor’s shoulder, caressing Thor’s cheek with his fingertips and playing with the hair spilled across the pillow. Thor sighs in to his mouth, hands coming to rest on the small of Loki’s back and tangling into his hair.

Loki flinches and hisses when Thor’s fingers brush against the sore spot, and Thor is quick to move his hand lower, whispering an apology before soothing him with another kiss.

Loki teases Thor’s bottom lip as his hand sneaks down Thor’s stomach to find his cock. It twitches hard at the first light touch, pulling another sigh from Thor’s throat. Loki runs his hand over the up and down, Thor’s hot breath gusting over Loki’s face as his hips twitch with the rhythm Loki’s set. His own hips move with it too, grinding himself in to Thor’s hip. He loops one of his legs around a solid thigh. Thor shifts, bending his leg so it’s pressed right against his cunt. Warmth shivers along his spine and spreads across his skin, heart fluttering behind his ribs. He moves his hand, gripping Thor’s cock through the thin fabric of his boxers and stroking him slowly. They stay tangled and moaning in to each others mouths, their skin getting slick with sweat, until Thor flips them over.

Eyes scanning over Loki in the darkness, Thor licks his lips. Loki’s pinned by his gaze, chest jumping with each shallow breath. He bends his head back as Thor lowers his, letting out a long sigh as Thor’s lips latch on to the side of his throat. Every inch of him tingles, his knees going slack and falling to the bed. He turns his head and cranes his neck as far as he can, hoping Thor gets his wordless demand for more of that.

He does. And then some. Loki cries out when he feels the lightest scrape of teeth and shoves a hand in to his underwear.

Thor realizes a moment later, with a soft “fuck” after he lifts himself up to look down between them.

He moves down farther, nostrils flared as he drags his lips down to Loki’s chest. He gives Loki’s nipples the same treatment as his neck; Going at them softly at first, almost tentative, and then with vigor as Loki arches up for more.

Loki’s other hand has sneakily joined the first, and now all Thor can hear is the frantic, slick sounds of Loki’s fingers on his sex.

After he’s had enough of teasing Loki’s chest, he moves lower, licking and nipping all over the skin of his belly while his hands run along Loki’s sides and thighs in long stokes. He can feel the muscles jumping under his lips. He can smell Loki to the point where’s he’s getting the fainest taste of him. Tart yet sweet, with something else he can’t find the word for. His mouth waters for more of it.

He looks up at Loki from his bellybutton. He’s already looking down at Thor, eyes glazed and peeking out from heavy lids.

“I wanna taste you.” His words come out clumsy, his voice gravelly to the point of being nearly unrecognizable.

Loki’s head drops back to the pillow with a mewl, wet hands flopping on to the mattress and hips canting upwards.

Thor purrs and hooks his fingers in to thick elastic waistband of his underwear, forced to sit up as he drags them up miles of pale leg. He tosses them aside, eyes glued to naked form spread out before him. The room is dark, but Loki appears perfectly clear to him, nearly glowing.

A thread of nervousness weaves through Loki, somehow getting past all the arousal to make him hesitate as Thor kneels over him, taking him in with hungry eyes and trapped cock bobbing. Loki closes his eyes and tosses an arm across them for good measure, spreading his thighs wide.

Thor sucks in a sharp breath, his belly doing a flip while a strange feeling like pins scattering across his skin spreads down from the back of his neck.

He moves slow, knees sliding back as he lowers himself, until his face is hovering over the junction where the slick folds of his cunt meet his pulsing cock.

Thor licks his lips. They feel dry and he suddenly wonders why the fuck he doesn’t use chapstick more often.

“I’ve never been with an omega before,” he says. He can’t remember if he’s told Loki that before and now he’s feeling nervous. “Is there anything I should know?”

Loki stays quiet just long enough for Thor to wonder if he didn’t hear him.

“Really?” Loki asks just as Thor readies himself to ask again. He lefts his arm from his face and lifts his head to look down at Thor.

Thor nods.

Loki laughs a little, and Thor joins him, the feeling of his breath cutting Loki’s off with a gasp.

“It’s all- um-” Loki starts, voice wavering. He pushes off the hair sticking to his face and takes a breath. “It’s all pretty sensitive down there... just, you know, don’t bite what you wouldn’t want bitten.”

They laugh again. Thor’s confidence returns with a vengeance, and he starts by nuzzling in to softness of Loki’s inner thigh with a hum. He hears Loki heave a sigh, the muted thump of his head falling back to the pillow. He drags his face down until he meets where the skin begins to go slick... skipping right over the source to give the other thigh the same treatment.

Loki swears softly and Thor chuckles in to his warm skin.

He doesn’t tease him for long, though, because it’s killing him as much as it’s killing Loki. He laps up the length of the slit, moaning at the taste, a stronger version of the hint he got before. Loki whimpers, hands moving to hook on to the backs of his thighs to keep them in place. Thor pushes himself higher, balancing on one forearm while he loops the other around Loki’s hip to lift his cock. He stares intently up at Loki as he licks the weeping head and moans. He tastes only a slightly different there, a little mellower, more savory.

He shifts his legs again so he can lick him from the bottom of his slit to the tip of his cock. Loki arches his back and lets out a whole string of barely distinguishable curses. Thor does it again and again, until he has Loki writhing and whining.

Thor settles on his chest again, one hand lazily stroking Loki’s cock while he uses the other to spread his cunt open. He licks at him experimentally, flicking at him with the tip of his tongue. Every touch makes Loki flinch, the mouth of his cunt clenching around nothing. He licks at the spot where his folds meld in to the underside of his cock, where Thor’s used to a clit being, and Loki cries out, legs and cock jerking. Thor lets himself have a moment to grin and then dives in, flattening his tongue and slowly licking that spot over and over.

When he has Loki trembling, he dips his head low and slides his tongue into him as deep as it’ll reach. Loki moans loud enough that it shake Thor’s lungs, a hand finding it’s way into Thor’s hair. Thor opens his mouth as wide as he can and fucks Loki’s with his tongue, doing his best to stroke his cock in time with it.

Only when his jaw hurts to the point of distraction he pulls back, moaning as he licks off the wetness coating his lips. Loki’s panting harder, squirming and expression bordering on pained.

Thor doesn’t keep him suffering long.

He wraps his lips around his teeth and swallows Loki’s cock as deep as he can, and Loki shouts at the ceiling, and then slips a couple fingers in to his slick passage. He rubs gently along the front wall, knowing he’s found the right spot when Loki makes a strangled sound and his cock pulses and drools on his tongue.

Loki chants his name, his voice going higher and breathier with every bob of his head and thrust of his fingers.

It only takes a few more of both before Loki’s crying out, his hips surging up as his body tenses and Thor’s mouth is filled with come. He keeps going until Loki sags on the bed, eyes hazy as he looks up at Thor, a small, lazy smile on his bliss-filled face.

Thor feels like he should go outside and beat his chest with the way he feels right now. He’s overflowing with pride. Pride and love and maybe a few other things.

He kisses Loki for a while instead. Loki runs his shaky hands all over his arms and chest, purring in to Thor’s mouth. Thor falls on to his side, dragging Loki with him and pulling him close. Loki winds a leg around his, hips curling forward as he pushes himself against Thor. Thor moans, aching cock twitching between their bodies.

Loki pulls back, looking down between them, thinking for a moment before pushing Thor on to his back. Thor’s mind freezes as he watches Loki crawl farther down the bed, mouth gone slack.

It unsticks when Loki hooks his fingers in to the waistband of his boxers.

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to,” Loki cuts in, voice smooth and deep and curling around Thor lust-filled mind like smoke.

He groans, letting his head fall back and canting his hips to help Loki pull his boxers down. His cock twitches at the touch of cool air, his body tight with anticipation.

He sighs in relief when he feels Loki’s hand curl around his shaft, hips working as he gives it a few loose strokes. Then his grip tightens, holding him firmly at the base as his tongue flicks over the tip of his cock, where it peeks from his foreskin. Thor takes big, shuddering breaths, attempting to keep some control over his body. He already feels like his on the edge, and he wants to savor this as much as possible.

Thor senses something is amiss and looks up to find Loki looking nervous.

“What’s the matter?”

“I-” Loki licks his lips and tucks his hair behind his ear, the confidence in his voice moments ago almost completely gone. “I don’t like having my head grabbed.”

Thor nods, grabbing on to the pillow under his head.

A smile flickers over Loki’s face and he adjusts his position, and then he takes Thor into his mouth

“Fuck,” he hisses, head dropping back to the pillow.

Loki bobs his head slowly, using his hand to stroke the rest of his length. Thor moans, trying to keep his hips down. Loki moans softly around his cock, taking him in a little deeper with each bob.

When he looks back down he sees that Loki is hard again, and is frantically thrusting his fingers between his legs.

He has to let go of the pillow to grab on to his own hips, forcing them to stay on the bed. His lungs rise and fall in short, stuttered bursts, his ears trained on to the sounds of Loki fingering himself. His legs twitch, wanting to to fuck in to the wet heat surrounding his cock.

He’s not going to last long.

He tells Loki that, breathless and slurred, and Loki moans in response, doubling his efforts and forcing Thor to dig bruises in to his hips.

Thor growls at the ceiling when his climax crashes over him, unable to totally stop his hips from driving up. Loki sucks him through it, moaning as the hand between his legs moves faster.

He pulls back when Thor begins to hiss in discomfort, and Thor watches through his lashes as Loki sits up on his knees, head thrown back while he uses both hands on himself. Thor studies the way his hands move and his hips respond, his cock giving a throb of renewed interest. Loki rises higher, hips rolling, his face going slack with bliss as he comes for the second time.

Thor turns on to his side as Loki flops back down. He pushes himself up to drag the comforter back on top of them and tucks it around them.

Loki gives him a lazy smile that makes Thor’s stomach flutter. He taste himself on Loki’s tongue when he kisses him, and when he dips his head down he catches whiffs of his own scent clinging Loki’s damp skin. Thor shivers, squeezing Loki against him and tries to keep himself from babbling about how much he loves him.

“We’re going to be exhausted tomorrow if we keep this up,” Loki whispers, turning and tipping his head so Thor can bury his nose in the hair behind his ear.

“Worth it.” Thor words come out in a wisp of air.

Loki shivers a little as he laughs, turning his head again when Thor travels to the front of his throat.

“The stew strikes again,” Loki says, smirking at the ceiling.

Thor’s shoulders shake and he drops his head to Loki’s chest when he laughs. Loki joins him, hands finding there way in to Thor’s hair.

Thor’s lips find their way on to his skin again as his laughter trails off, kissing their way back up to Loki’s face.

“Can’t say I’m disappointed,” Thor murmurs against his cheek.

Loki hums in reply, turning his head so Thor can kiss him on the mouth.

They both sigh happily as they pull apart, bumping their noses together as they settle, falling asleep with their foreheads pressed together.

 

Loki stirs when Thor is trying to extract his arm from under Loki’s neck. Loki lifts his head, freeing him and plopping back down. Thor presses a kiss to his cheek before heading in to the bathroom, and Loki falls back to sleep with a smile on his face.

The next time he opens his eyes he gets an eyeful of Thor’s ass as he gets dressed. He falls asleep smiling again.

The burbling of the coffee maker draws him out for a moment. And when Thor drops something.

Then, the bed is dipping beside him, and Thor’s voice is soft in his ear.

“I’ve gotta go now.”

Loki hums, brows furrowed and blindly grabbing at Thor’s shirt. “No.”

Thor chuckles, leaning over to nuzzle Loki’s hair and breath him in. He peppers Loki’s cheek and jaw with kisses, mumbling apologies.

“Feel free to eat and use whatever you want,” Thor says as he sits up, “just lock the front door when you leave.”

“’m gonna steal your bed,” Loki slurs, rubbing his face in to the pillow.

Thor laughs again, rubbing his hand over Loki’s back. “Or you can just come over and sleep in it, I wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Loki _hmmm_ ’s brows furrowed. “Guess we had some fun in it too.”

Thor snorts, kissing Loki on the temple as he pries Loki’s hand from his shirt, kissing it on the palm before giving it back to Loki and tucking the blanket around him. Loki smiles, peeling his eyes open to look at Thor. He leans up and Thor meets his waiting lips, his head pushed back in to the pillow with the gentle force of Thor’s kiss.

Loki’s breath catches in his throat, heart stuttering as his belly flips.

 _I love you_ , he thinks.

He manages to keep the words to himself, feeling overwhelmed as Thor pulls away.

“Have a good day at work.”

Loki nods, parroting Thor’s words back at him. He watches Thor walk out the room, listens to his heavy footsteps and the door to the garage open and close.

It’s hardly dawn, he could get a couple more hours of sleep, but he’s wide awake now. He stares at the at the the wrinkles Thor left behind in the bedding, shocked and oddly afraid.

Loki rolls on to his back and sits up slowly, wrapping his arms around his knees as he looks around the room. He just sits and listens to the fan buzz, shivering as a gusts of air blows across his face in ten second increments.

“I love him.”


	10. Chapter 10

Loki paces nervously up and down the length of the office, his shoes scuffing softly along the carpeted floor while Dr. Romanov sits on the couch, looking down at the notes in her lap.

Loki stops, wrapping one arm around his middle while he rubs the side of his neck with his other hand. He’d noticed that Thor had left a faint hickey just under his ear, and his hand had been gravitating to it ever since. “It’s too soon, right?”

The doctor looks up at him and shrugs, her mouth quirking at him. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”

Loki lets out a distressed sigh, going back to his pacing and rubbing his forehead. He’s hardly been able to text Thor since this morning, unable to settle his chaotic thoughts. And he’s somehow supposed to see him tonight.

_The heart wants what the heart wants._

“Yeah, _well_ , my heart has shown itself to be fucking stupid, what it wants is very suspicious.” His throat begins clamp down, panic fluttering in his belly, eyes blurring.

“Come over here,” Dr Romanov says gently, patting the space beside her. Loki does, covering his face in his hands.

“How old were you when you met Svadilfari?”

He’s sure he’s told her this ages ago, but he answers anyway. “Seventeen, close to eighteen.”

“And he was the first person to show you affection since your grandmother died?”

“Yeah,” he says with a small, choked out sob.

“It’s not a crime to want that.”

“I was-” He goes to protest, choking on the words as the tears come.

“Vulnerable,” she finishes, and it definitely wasn’t the word he was planning on using, but her tone keeps him quiet. He turns his head a little, looking at her past his hand. “And he used that to manipulate you and get what what he wanted from you.”

Loki buries his face and sobs for awhile. When he finally lifts his head and lets his hands fall to his lap, Dr. Romanov holds a box of tissues to him. He takes a few and cleans himself up slowly.

“What are you worried about happening? Take your time.”

The sigh Loki lets out is heavy and shudders. “Everything.”

She _tsks_ at him and Loki stays quiet and really tries to sort out all his thoughts.

“What if he doesn’t love me?” Is the first thing that comes in clear.

She stays quiet, and he can make out the impassive look on her face from the corner of his eye.

“I afraid I’ll become too much and he’ll leave.” The words come out awkward, the lump in his throat trying to keep him from talking.

“I’m scared he’ll change if I tell him, like, if he knows he has me he’ll stop pretending to be _n-_ nice.”

Dr. Romanov nods. “Those are all perfectly understandable.”

“So what do you want to do about this?”

Loki looks over at her, brows crumpled.

“Do you think you should tell him? Run as far and as fast as you can?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Think about it for a moment.”

Loki does. He takes a few moments actually.

“I want to-” Loki fidgets at the thought, muscles tensing and jumping. “I want to tell him everything.”

“Everything?”

“About what happened with Svadilfari.”

Dr. Romanov actually looks surprised. “Really?”

Loki nods.

“And what do you hope that will achieve?” she asks, schooling her features in to something neutral, but just slightly skeptical.

Loki wrings his hands and shrugs.

“Do you think it’s going to be enough to push him away.”

_Damn_. “Maybe?”

She narrows her eyes at him just slightly. “And if it doesn’t?”

Loki’s hands clench. “Then... I don’t know.”

“I know I avoid telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, but Loki, I’m not sure you should do that.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re considering opening up like this to someone for the first time, and more importantly doing with the _hope_ it’ll turn out badly.”

“I’ve already told you most of it.” Some distant part of his mind points out how petulant he sounds right now.

“That’s because you specifically come to me for it, and I’m trained to handle and react to what you tell me appropriately. And I worry that if you do this with Thor you’re just setting him up to fail.”

“So,” Loki sniffs, “what do you suggest?”

She sighs, staying quiet for a moment.

“IF you really want to spill it all and see what comes of it, I’d rather you do it with some mediation, for both your sakes.”

“Mediation?”

“I know a few couples counselors who could work with you, or you can bring him here for a session.”

“You can do that?”

“For something like this, yes.”

Loki thinks about it for a moment, and nods.

“We can see what I have open after our session, okay?”

 

* * *

 

Loki’s still full of jitters when he’s pulling up to Thor’s house.

Thor’s smile softens as soon as he sees him, and Loki realizes he must look like he had an intense session, which is at least partly true. He’s extra gentle as he greets Loki at the door, hugging him and pressing a line of kisses along his cheekbone. Loki shivers and settles against Thor’s chest, breathing in his scent and feeling stupid for being nervous, _as usual._

“Tough one?”

Loki smiles a little and nods. Thor kisses his head and guides him inside, even helping Loki take off his shoes.

“I haven’t ordered yet, I figured I’d just wait for you since they tend to be quick. Drink?”

Loki nods, hand on the faint bruise on his neck.

“What’ll it be?” Thor asks from the fridge.

Loki can’t help but watch his every move, trying to analyze and find any cracks in the facade. “Anything.”

He finds it hard to relax entirely, with so much still swirling around in his head.

Thor scrunches his brows, handing Loki a beer and running his hand up his spine. “Is everything okay, babe?”

Loki stammers and his breath quickens. He takes a drink and tries to collect himself. Heart thumping, throat hurting, eyes burning, he’s already on the brink of sobbing again. He takes another sip, which turns in to chugging, which turns in to Thor going “hey, hey, hey, slow down babe,” and gently prying the bottle from Loki.

“What’s the matter?” Thor asks, gentle but insistent now.

“I’ve just- I-” He stutters over his words, chest heaving with erratic sobs. Thor looks freaked out now, setting their drinks down on the nearest flat surface and dragging Loki to the couch before he can pass out.

“I told him to hit me the first time,” Loki blurts out with a hard sob.

Thor looks utterly bewildered now. “What?”

His vision blurs and he blinks, tears searing his cheeks. He doesn’t remember every little fight they had -- he doesn’t remember most of them, actually, especially the ones that got physical -- but he remembers _that_ one so clearly, every part of it, even the smell of the goddamn cheap, shitty dish soap he was using when it happened. As soon as he had Loki bonded to him they had moved, in to the first of a string of shithole apartments, and Loki could swear it was the very next day Svad had turned in to a cold, vindictive asshole. It had been a _month_.

Loki had been so heartbroken and pissed. At himself, his parents, Svad, the entire fucking _universe_. Svad had never been perfect, which Loki can see now, but he’d really thought he be getting away from all the shit life had given him up to that point. Boy, was he so _very_ fucking wrong.

“When I was with Svad,” Loki explains, looking down at his hands. “He went from being nice to getting pissed at me about _every_ -fucking-thing, and he would just fucking stomp and slam shit around constantly, and it had only been a fucking _month_ ,” he snarls, voice ragged cracking with the anger that bubbled up with the memories, “and I was so fucking angry that when we got in to a fight one night and he kept going _on_ about how much he wished he could hit me I screamed at him to just fucking do it.”

He shuts his eyes and presses his fists against his eyes. He’d done it almost as soon as the words had left Loki’s mouth, his fist colliding in to Loki’s jaw hard enough to knock him over. He fell in to the counter, the edge hitting him just under his ribs and knocking the wind out him. He remembers sitting there on the floor of the kitchen, gasping for air and in shock, looking up and seeing the meanest look on Svadilfari’s face.

_What? You told me to_ , he had said before stomping away, leaving Loki to pick himself up.

Loki tells him ... not _everything_ , but it’s a lot. Thor senses there’s still more looming somewhere a little deeper, but he definitely won’t pry, not when Loki’s been spilling out story after story for a solid two hours and he’s shaking like a leaf and looks close to totally breaking apart.

Thor himself feels sick to his stomach, and indescribably angry at the faceless asshole in his mind who left Loki like this.

Loki hasn’t looked at him since he started talking and right now he’s sobbing in to his hands. Thor’s not sure what to do. He wants to pull Loki against his chest and not let go, but he’s not sure if that would be a good idea. He has no idea what to say either, and is afraid that anything he tries will come out horribly wrong.

He tries touching him, very gently grazing Loki’s arm with his knuckles, just to see. Loki lets out a long, heavy sigh at the touch, still looking down. Thor reaches out and pulls back the curtain of wavy black hair hiding Loki’s face, tucking it behind his ear.

Loki’s eyes flit to him, rimmed with an angry shade of red. He looks exhausted and brittle. Thor feels tears soak his eyelashes and he moves his hand back to Loki’s arm, gently coaxing him closer.

Loki hesitates, looking at him. His breathing so off and shivering with each unsteady inhale. But lets he Thor pull him in, sobbing freely when his face is tucked in to the crook of Thor’s neck. Thor joins him, tears falling silently as he squeezes Loki tightly.

 

* * *

 

Loki wakes up somewhere around three am. He’s still clinging on to Thor like he had been when they hobbled in to bed hours ago. The front of his head throbs, his throat and chest aching from all the sobbing. He’s so exhausted but his mind won’t _stop_.

He has no idea how to feel right now. Dr. Romanov was definitely right that he had thought, and hoped in a hard to comprehend way, that telling Thor would end up with him doing or saying something wrong, or just finally realize Loki wasn’t really worth all the fucking baggage and run.

He really didn’t imagine Thor crying _with_ him.

He didn’t think Thor would keep touching him so gently, never letting the contact break, wordlessly guiding them to his bedroom when the worst of the emotional hellstorm had passed. Helping Loki undress before dragging him under the covers. Enveloped in his warmth and solid embrace, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to Loki’s hair and fell asleep with Loki still trembling on top of him.

Loki’s not sure when he fell back to sleep, but when he wakes up again the sun is bleeding through the slates of the blinds. Thor’s in the exact same place as before, but he’s awake. Loki peels his painfully swollen eyes open and finds Thor looking thoughtfully at the ceiling.

Loki’s not sure what to say. Good morning feels... wrong. He’s not even sure he can do much talking right now, with the way his throat feels. And he worries that talking might lead to _too much talking_ and lead to yet another day with endless crying. He really cannot deal with anymore crying right now.

Thor looks back at him, corner of his mouth twitching up. His had reaches up to cup Loki’s cheek, the pad of his thumb stroking the bags Loki can feel under his eyes. But his hand dry and warm and on the good side of rough and he hums softly, eyes fluttering closed.

Thor spends a few minutes touching Loki’s face, soothing away the aches with gentle strokes that make Loki melt slowly in to the mattress.

He’s nearly got Loki in a trance when his stomach growls.

Smiles flicker on to both their faces at the noise. They ended up not eating at all last night, and now with his his attention brought to it, Loki feels hollow. He can’t remember eating at all yesterday, actually...

Thor kisses his nose before prying Loki off his side and climbing out of bed. Loki stays in bed, letting his eyes slip closed and listening to the sounds Thor makes.

There’s a purposeful quietness to it. The music he puts on is just loud enough to meld in to the background, doors and cabinets are opened and shut softly, everything is set down with care.

Loki wrenches himself from the bed when it sounds like Thor has his rhythm, his muscles and joints stiff. After taking another minute or so to get himself moving, he walks cautiously down the hall.

Thor greets him with a smile and Loki relaxes, going to sit at the table since Thor seems to have everything under control. He watches Thor cut up a strawberry, adding it to a pile he’s amassing in a bowl, and then he sets the knife aside, wiping pink-stained fingers on his t-shirt as he goes to a cabinet and grabs a glass filling it with ice and water. Loki feels his cheeks warm as Thor comes up and sets the glass down in front of him, kissing the top of his head.

Loki takes the hint and sips slowly as he watches Thor go back to work, cutting up a few more strawberries before setting them aside. He pulls a waffle iron out from a different cabinet, and a mixing bowl, plugging the first in before gathering his ingredients.

Watching Thor make breakfast relaxes him. He does it with such ease, knowing how to time everything out just right.

Loki’s stomach grumbles up a storm when the sweet scent of the waffles and the sausage Thor has started on waft in the air and they both laugh at it.

“Hang on, hang on, I’m almost done,” Thor says.

Loki hides his blush behind a hand and drinks more of his water.

Thor’s sprinkled the last of the strawberry slices on to the waffles when he says “oh, almost forgot!”

He goes to the fridge and grabs a can of whipped cream, winking at Loki as he shakes it. He takes one of the plates and turns his back to Loki as he sprays it on. He sets the can on the counter and finally walks their breakfast over, proudly setting Loki’s plate in front of him.

He drew a heart on his waffles.

Loki sniffs, eyes blurring with fresh tears. But he’s smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.

He can see the thread of worry in Thor’s expression when he looks up. He doesn't want it there. He sniffs again as he surges out of his seat and in to Thor’s lap. Thor lets out a soft ‘ _oof_ ’ as his lap suddenly becomes full of Loki, but he sighs and wraps his arms around him, nuzzling in to Loki’s messy hair.

“I love you.”

It comes out quiet and shaky, gusting out in a breath on Thor’s neck, but it’s out. Loki actually _said_ it.

He feels Thor’s smile, his arms tightening around Loki. “I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

They’re back in bed after breakfast and Loki’s taken a shower, the blinds still shut and a couple of Thor’s extra sheets pinned to the walls to help further block out the sunshine that keeps trying to find it’s way in. Thor plays with Loki’s damp hair, alternating between winding loose curls around his finger or letting the soft strands slide through his fingers, while Loki dozes.

Thor just lets the moment soak in, smiling every time he remembers that Loki loves him.

The shift in Loki’s breathing lets him know he’s woken up. He smiles when Loki squirms and stretches out like a cat, kissing his forehead when he relaxes.

“What time is it?” Loki asks, voice scratchy and raw.

Thor reaches for his phone and tries to not sound disappointed when he answers. “Quarter to noon.”

Loki groans. “I really don’t want to go to work today.”

Thor hums his agreement and commiseration, burying his nose in Loki’s hair. He likes the way his shampoo mixes with Loki’s scent.

Loki’s quiet, and not looking like he’s in any sort of hurry to leave.

“What if I called in and took the day off?”

Thor can’t help but smile. “I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Mmm.” Loki nuzzles Thor’s chest, seeming to mull it over for another moment before sitting up and grabbing his phone off the nightstand. Thor slips his hand under the shirt he gave to Loki to wear, dragging his fingertips across his soft, warm skin in circles. He can see how Loki gets a little stiffer as he makes the call, and Thor props himself up on his elbow so he can rub up and down the length of Loki’s spine with his palm. It does the trick, and Loki visibly relaxes.

“Hey Harvey, I know it’s short notice, but I need to take today off- no, I’m okay, I just had a rough night - yeah, I can do that- thanks a lot, I’ll see you Monday.”

Loki huffs when he hangs up and Thor pushes his shirt up far enough to press a noisy kiss to Loki’s spine.

“Gotta see if I can get someone to fill in for me,” Loki explains. Thor nods with his mouth still against Loki’s skin.

“Hey Darcy, sorry to bother you, but do you think there’s anyone that can fill in for me today...?”

Thor falls on to his back, fingers tickling Loki’s side. He smiles when Loki flinches and giggles, shooting a mock glare over his shoulder and swatting Thor’s hand.

“Yeah, I’m with Thor.”

“Hi Darcy!” Thor calls.

He can hear her muddled reply through Loki’s phone.

“She says hi,” Loki deadpans.

“You sure? Oh god, thank you so much, I owe you one-” Loki suddenly bursts out in laughter. “No, I am definitely not sending you any pictures, you’ll have to think of something else, but thanks again.” Loki laughs again, a lightness to him that makes Thor smile.

“Okay, I’ll see you Monday, bye.”

He sighs as he hangs up, setting his phone back on the nightstand.

“All settled?”

“Yup.” Loki snuggles back up against Thor’s side, sighing contentedly.

Thor hums and presses Loki even closer, giving him a tight squeeze.

“I love you,” he says again, just because.

Loki laughs a little, squirming. “I love you.”

A comfortable, quiet lull falls over them, the music playing from the living room providing a nice background against their breathing. One arm is wrapped around Loki’s shoulder, tracing little circles on Loki’s shoulder with the tip of a finger, and stroking the thigh laying over his with his other hand.

Loki starts stroking Thor’s chest over his t-shirt, his hand find its way under soon after. Thor’s belly jumps when his fingertips skim over a ticklish spot. There’s a change in the air as Loki presses his hand flat on Thor’s chest, moving over his skin in a that makes Thor’s heartbeat speed up. The thigh Loki has thrown over Thor’s tenses as he curls his hips forward. Thor can feel Loki stiffen as he lazily rolls his hips against Thor, his own cock throbbing in response. Loki’s hand moves down, slipping under Thor’s boxers and gripping Thor’s length. Thor’s moans softly in to Loki’s mouth, digging his heels to thrust up in to his fist.

Thor whines when Loki sits up and gets out of his reach, but he shuts up when Loki shoves his borrowed pajama pants down his hips, his eyes instantly glued to the cock bobbing in the air and glistening below it. He’s so distracted he almost doesn't notice Loki trying to pull his boxers off. He lifts his hips and sighs as cool air hits his cock.

Loki looks _hungry_. Quickly tugging his t-shirt off before he crawls on top of Thor, his hands find their way back under Thor’s shirt, pushing it up as he leans down for a kiss.

Thor exhales with a quiet moan, dragging his hands down Loki’s sides and back. Loki’s hips fall with the weight of Thor’s hands on them, knees sliding farther apart until the folds of his cunt and cock are pressed against Thor.

Every muscle in Thor’s body tenses and twitches, letting out a choked off moan in to Loki’s mouth. He feels Loki’s smile against his lips, damp locks of hair brush against his cheeks. Thor feels hypersensitive; The sheets suddenly feel scratchy compared to Loki’s skin, the air seems thick and cloying, and the breathless, needy sounds Loki makes are the only thing he can hear. His hips rock forward, the movement small and jerky. Thor grips his hips tighter, hanging on for dear life as Loki does it over and over again.

Loki’s thighs are shaking when he lifts himself up. Thor bites his lip, his breath locked inside his chest, as Loki reaches down between them. He jerks as Loki’s fingers caress his cock, giving the slick length a slow, thorough stroke before sitting up a little higher to guide the head in to the mouth of his cunt. Thor forces his eyes to stay open and watch as every inch of his length disappears in to Loki’s body. He loses his breath in an agonized groan when Loki settles his weight on his hips, head dropping back to the pillow as he gets lost in the feeling of being completely enveloped inside Loki.

Loki is panting, head thrown back and mouth hanging open. He moves his hips, a small gasp leaving his throat as his whole body tenses. Thor feels him clench tightly around his cock, and it’s so different than what he’s felt before that he sputters and chokes, the drive to thrust up and fuck Loki close to overwhelming.

He only realizes how tightly he’s gripping on to Loki when begins to bounce in Thor’s lap, forcing his fingers to loosen. Thor runs his hands up Loki’s front, relishing in the shudders that wrack Loki as Thor’s fingers skim and tease his nipples. Loki hisses through clenched teeth, pushing his hips down and grinding hard against Thor, cock pulsing and leaking on to Thor’s belly.

Loki’s eyes flutter open, his voice low and rough as he says, “flip us.”

Thor doesn’t need to be told twice, and he has Loki under him a second later. Cradled in his arms with their faces almost touching, he strains to stay still for a moment, wanting to just take it all in.

The whole situation hits Loki at once, his body seeming to go a bit numb while his mind races, playing back everything that happened since yesterday morning. Everything goes slow and fast at once, and for a flash Loki feels panicked, heart thumping wildly while his muscles clench tight. He inhales with an unsteady gasp and concern flickers in to Thor’s expression.

Loki feels himself fall back in to the moment, the static-y fuzz falling away and making everything clear. Thor stays very still, giving Loki a chance to take a few breaths, body slowly easing against the mattress.

“I love you,” Thor says again, whispering it against Loki’s lips.

Loki smiles back at him, hands trailing up Thor’s back until he’s gripping Thor’s shoulders, his legs coming up to wrap around Thor’s waist. “I love you,” Loki replies, breathless, his fingers tightening on Thor’s shoulders.

Thor pulls back and thrusts in slowly. Loki’s head lolls to the side with a long, low moan, and Thor latches on to the faint bruise he left on his throat the other night, worrying it with his teeth.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Loki whines, chest pressing against Thor’s with each stuttered breath. He feels full.

Thor’s hips jerk faster, letting out a whine against Loki’s neck. He pushes himself above Loki as he begins to really fuck him. His body sings, squeezing around Thor’s cock and hanging on to Thor’s trembling arms.

“I’m not sure how much longer I’m gonna last,” Thor laughs, voice strained.

Loki laughs, but it’s little more than a wheeze. He reaches clumsily for his straining cock, groaning at the sparks that shoot over his body when he begins stroking himself.

Thor makes a sound like he’s unraveling, one of his hands shooting down to grasp Loki’s hip as he pounds in to him.

Loki can feel his climax quickly building, a tightness low in his belly. His toes curl as he strokes himself frantically, each thrust bringing him closer to the edge. Thor growls, pushing his forehead against Loki’s as he grinds himself into Loki.

“Thor!” Loki’s legs tighten around Thor’s waist, vision whiting out as he spills on to his stomach.

A choked off sound leaves Thor’s throat, hips stuttering before giving one more hard shove, cock pulsing inside Loki. Tingles cascade over Loki’s skin, sending another wave of pleasure through Loki that makes him moan.

They stay frozen in place, panting, for a very long few moments.

Loki doesn’t realize he’s started crying ( _again_ ) until he feels Thor’s thumbs wiping away the tears.

“Loki, baby, are you okay?” Thor’s asking, voice very soft and worried.

He blinks, his foggy brain considering the question and deeming it dumb.

“Of course,” he replies, but it comes out a lot shakier than he thought it would. Thor still looks worried.

Loki takes a deep, steadying breath, shutting his eyes. When he opens them again, he smiles at the look on Thor’s face, forcing his tired, clumsy hands to cooperate and pull Thor down in to a kiss. Thor lays down on top of Loki carefully, the shifting of their bodies making his soft cock slip out of him. Loki whines at the loss.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Loki hums, smiling and playing with Thor’s hair. “Not at all.”

Loki feels him relax. He nuzzles in to the side of Loki’s neck, wedging his arms under Loki to hug him tight.

Loki laughs, giddy and warm and bubbling with affection. “I love you.”

Thor’s beard scratches him softly as Thor gives him another nuzzle. “I love you too.”

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Loki’s never felt this happy and content in his life. He’s not really sure if that should be a good or bad thing, but he’s going to take it as a good thing because, goddammit, life doesn’t fucking suck for once. And Thor is mostly to blame for that.

There was a slight dip in his happy feelings the Monday after what turned out to be one of the nicest weekends of his life, since he had to call Dr. Romanov and tell her he did exactly what she strongly suggested he not do, but she was ultimately happy that everything worked out for him, and that the offer still stood if he needed it.

That and there was the fact that Loki had to make it up to Darcy for working his shift on Saturday, but even that didn’t dampen his mood in any real way.

There were moments where he had to step back and stop, letting it all soak in. He was happy. Actually, honest-to-God happy. And in love. So in love.

There were still other moments too. Ones where he’d sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, in his bed or Thor’s, all enveloped in Thor’s scent and warmth, and dark thoughts would seep in and send shivers up his spine, a icy prickling across his skin.

Thor, apparently sensing his distress through even deep sleep, would squeeze Loki a little tighter and nuzzle his hair with a grunt. Loki would fall back to sleep surprisingly quick.

 

* * *

 

Thor let Loki lead the way out of the restaurant, feeling pleasantly full from dinner and a little sluggish.

Loki had a hold of Thor’s hand, their arms extended between them, as he guided them through the parking lot towards Thor’s truck. His laughter’s soft and bubbly, coming more easily with the couple drinks he had with their meal. It’s giving Thor some serious warm fuzzy feelings.

The way Loki is purposefully swinging his hips the closer they get to the truck is giving him a different sort of warm fuzzies.

Loki’s grip on his hand is steadfast when they (finally) make it there, dragging Thor to him as he rests against the passenger side door, his head making contact with a dull thud.

Thor chuckles softly, smiling very fondly at his cute boyfriend as he presses closer, his hands resting just above slim hips.

“I think those drinks were just a _liiiittle_ bit strong,” Loki says, not slurring, but the words fall out of his lips lazily.

“I’m gonna have to agree.” Thor reaches up to cup Loki’s flushed cheek, feeling the warmth on his skin. Loki purrs in to the touch, eyes fluttering shut.

Thor lets out a happy sigh and kisses the corner of his mouth. Loki turns his head slightly, kissing him full on, and Thor purrs this time.

Loki’s hands find their way under Thor’s shirt, pulling him in even tighter, so that Thor can feel his ribs pushing against him every time Loki takes a breath. Thor groans softly, inhaling sharply through his nose and getting nearly overwhelmed by Loki’s scent. The hand on Loki’s cheek falls to cup his jaw and neck, his thumb tracing under his bottom lip and prying his mouth open with ease, he relishes the shudder that comes over Loki as their tongues meet.

They startle when the doors of the restaurant open, a group of people laughing as they make their way out in to the lot.

Loki’s looking at him when he looks away from the other people, eyes lidded and glowing strangely in the orange light coming from the streetlight nearby. The tip of his tongue flicks out to lick his lip and Thor’s eyes follow the small movement very closely.

“Could you stay over tonight?”

Thor smiles leaning in and resting some of his weight on Loki, lips grazing Loki’s. “I’d love to.”

Loki lets out a needy sigh, draping his long arms around Thor’s shoulders and winding a leg around the back of Thor’s as their mouths meet in another hungry kiss. Thor’s hands find the hem of the loose top Loki is wearing, feeling the soft fabric snag on his rough fingers before pushing them under it. His hands slide up Loki’s front, fingers splayed wide, grunting softly in satisfaction as Loki’s body responds to the touch. Another needy sigh, almost a whimper, chest arching forward, a full body shiver.

Another group of people comes out of the restaurant, loud and rowdy and jolting them out of the blissful little bubble they’d been.

“Lets get out of here,” Thor says, his voice turned in to some deep, gravelly rumble that has Loki’s eyes fluttering.

Another quick kiss and Thor pries himself out of Loki’s grasp, the both of them quickly climbing in to Thor’s truck.

Thor may be driving a little faster than necessary. He can also somehow hear Loki’s breathing past the sounds of the truck and radio and the wind whooshing in through the cracked open windows. When he looks over to Loki, he’s watching Thor again. Thor can feel the want rolling off his gaze, and when he sucks in a deep breath, he smells it too. He forces himself to look back at the road before something bad has a chance to happen and Loki’s on him seconds later. Leaning over the center console, he plants his mouth on the side of Thor’s neck, hot lips, tongue, and sharp teeth. A frisky hand finds it’s way to the inside of his thigh. Thor sucks in another deep breath, holding it in as his eyes threaten to close in pleasure.

“We’re gonna crash if you’re not careful,” Thor growls tightly, all too aware of how all the blood is rushing away from his head.

Loki whimpers right in to his ear, hot breath gusting over his neck, moving up the last few inches to rub his palm against Thor’s groin.

Thor’s looking at the buildings along the road they're driving down, turning sharply in to the first that looks deserted enough. He pulls all the way around to the back, panting Loki as tugs on his earlobe with his teeth. Loki’s climbing in to his lap as soon as he’s put the truck in park, head and limbs bumping in to everything. Thor fumbles with the buttons and levers on the side of his seat until the seat goes back as far as it can and they have a little more space so Loki can straddle him properly. Thor grabs Loki’s hips, pressing him down on to his aching groin, growling as Loki whimpers in to his mouth again. Loki groping every bit of Thor he can reach and rolling his hips, his mouth hot and demanding on Thor’s.

It’s not long before Loki’s hands find their way to the fly of Thor’s jeans, popping open the button and tearing down the zipper to get at what he wants. Thor pushes his hips up at the first touch of Loki’s hand, grunting as he squeezes his hands.

“Sorry,” Loki breathes, an afterthought. “I can’t wait to get back to my place.”

Thor lets out a tight, breathless laugh as Loki strokes his cock with excruciating slowness. “Those drinks really were strong.”

“It’s all your fault,” Loki pants in to Thor’s mouth, “looking and smelling so good.”

Thor laughs again, leaning up to kiss Loki hard, “I could say the same about you,” he mumbles against Loki’s mouth.

Loki makes a sweet little sound in the back of his throat, hand going still as Thor tangles his hands in to Loki’s hair and drags him closer. The moment slows, becoming slightly less heated as their focus falls to where their mouths join.

They’re thrust back in to hungry desperation for each other when Thor’s teeth catch Loki’s bottom lip, the hand wrapped around his cock tightening a fraction with it.

Loki pulls back, the blush tinting his face noticeable despite the dim lighting. “I want you to fuck me right here.”

Thor groans tightly, head thunking on his seat. He sucks in sharply, assaulted by the scents of their combined arousal and fumbles for the handle of his door and throws it open. It’s awkward getting out of the cab of his truck, his cock aching and hanging out of the front of his jeans, heads and limbs getting knocked around. They manage it, somehow, and then Loki is bent down over the driver’s seat, back arched and legs spread wide. Thor hears a him hiss in annoyance as he fumbles with the fly of his own jeans and Thor swoops in to help, shoving them and his underwear down as soon as he gets it open. Distracted, Thor runs a hand along the curve of Loki’s ass, thumb skimming along the glistening folds with a pleased hum. Loki whimpers, rising to his toes as he arches even higher in to the touch.

“Thor,” he whines, voice high and full of need.

He lets out a gruff sound as he exhales, sweat blooming over his skin. He doesn’t keep Loki waiting, lining his cock up and thrusting forward. Loki lets out a choked off cry, and then pants yes, the upper half of his body sagging with relief.

Hands gripping the space between Loki’s narrow hips and narrower waist, Thor sets a fast, hard rhythm. He loses himself entirely to the wet heat of Loki’s cunt and the sounds he’s making, sounding just as gone as Thor is as - not even trying to reign in his cries for more and shouting out Thor’s name.

He slides his hands farther up Loki’s back, rucking up his shirt and purring as Loki shivers and writhes from the touch. His hands come to rest on Loki’s shoulders, squeezing at the soft skin he wants to bite hard enough to mark. Loki throws his head back with a guttural moan, his spine curved to a ridiculous degree. It shivers through Thor, and his hips move faster, making Loki bounce with every thrust.

He comes hard enough that his vision goes a bit hazy, every muscle clenching and rolling with spasms as drains himself in to Loki. As his brain slogs it’s way from the fog, he notices that Loki’s still strained, whimpering Thor’s name with need. Thor’s moves his hands clumsily to Loki’s front, dragging him to stand against him. Thor’s mouth latches on to the soft flesh at the base of Loki’s neck - not biting hard enough to break skin, but it’s hard - and he responds instantly, mewling and squirming on Thor’s still hard cock, while a hand tangles in to Thor’s hair. One of Thor’s hands moves lower, grasping Loki’s leaking cock with a tight fist and jerking it fast. Loki shouts his name again, rocking up on to his toes and thrusting in to Thor’s fist, his come spurting out over the gravel and Thor’s knuckles.

They stand there, panting in to the (almost) silent night, shaking all over and blissful. They untangle themselves when Thor gets soft and slips out, the both of them giggling as they look at the messes they’ve made of each other. They each take their time getting themselves back together, pausing to kiss and giggle some more.

“I don’t think I can handle the walk,” Loki explains when he starts climbing over the driver’s seat, turning over and flopping in to the passenger’s seat in one graceless motion, all seven miles of his legs hanging in Thor’s seat. Thor chuckles, pushing Loki’s feet off with his clean hand and leaning across to get at the glove compartment to get the pack of wipes he keeps there. He gets his hand clean enough and - after a brief look around at the dark, empty parking lot and the building they’re behind - tosses it in to the floor of his truck for proper disposal later, climbing in and settling with a heavy, pleased sigh. He could slip in to a happy little coma right now, but he just has to make it the rest of the drive to Loki’s apartment. _Then_ he’ll have his happy little coma.

Loki’s watching him, his smile lazy and big. Thor returns it with a wink.

“I love you,” he mumbles.

“I love you too,” Thor replies, leaning over to plant a kiss on Loki’s waiting lips.

 

He’s dragged from sleep from the sound of his phone chiming. Thor’s grunts in annoyance and grabs blearily at the light punishing his eyes and flicks his thumb over the screen automatically. He squints at the unkown number for a few seconds, his half-asleep brain not sure what to make of it.

He grunts again, hitting ignore and putting the phone back on the nightstand beside Loki’s. He yawns and Loki shifts in his sleep, nuzzling where his face is tucked near Thor’s throat. Thor pushes his face in to the mess of hair in his face, humming softly at Loki’s scent, helping him fall back to sleep with ease.

 

* * *

 

Loki’s felt like there’s something crawling up the back of his neck since he woke up this morning and found that he’d gotten a call from a mystery number in the middle of the night. He’d blocked the number instantly and has done his best to push it out of his mind, but it lingers and makes him itch.

He at least hides it well enough, since no one asks him why he looks so uncomfortable. He can hardly wait for his shift to be over so he can head to Thor’s house, where he feels safe and can be easily distracted from paranoid thoughts.

_I’ve been careful_ , he thinks to himself, even as his mind searches through everything he’s done since leaving Svad. He’s followed Sigyn’s instructions to the letter, and everyone he’s even been remotely close since to knows better than to post anything about him on the internet...

_But what if..._

He shakes his head, hard. He can’t start thinking like that, it’ll only spiral out of control and he’s had a streak of really good days he doesn’t want to break it. It was probably just someone dialing the wrong number anyway.

 

He feels the load on his shoulders get lighter as he pulls in to Thor’s driveway, thoughts of mystery phone calls drifting away as he walks in to the little house that has quickly become more comfortable than his own apartment.

Thor greets him with a beaming smile from his recliner, Loki finds himself returning it easily, kicking off his shoes by the door.

“Saved a seat for you,” Thor says, patting his thigh.

Loki lets out a snort of laughter, shaking his head even as he walks over and climbs in to Thor’s lap. He sighs, contentment flooding him as he settles in.

“I ordered the food a little bit ago.”

Loki hums, eyes slipping closed. Thor’s hair is damp, the scent of his shampoo covering most of his scent.

Thor squeezes Loki around the waist before letting his hand run up and down Loki’s back in lazy sweeps. “How was work?”

“Long and boring,” Loki mumbles, not wanting to mention anything about the call or the discomfort it brought. “You?”

“Fandral saved the new guy from shooting himself in the foot with a nail gun.”

Loki doesn’t open his eyes, but does raise an eyebrow. “Mm?”

“He started on Monday, some kid of some guy who knows the foreman,” Thor explains, “complete dumbass. I’m pretty sure Monday was the first time he touched a tool in his life.”

Loki snickers. And then jerks and squirms as Thor tickles his side.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Thor chides playfully, hand going back to it’s gentle motions.

Loki sighs again, sinking against Thor. His lips curve up as Thor’s hand finds it’s way under Loki’s work shirt, his hand pleasantly warm and rough. The last thoughts of his mystery call drift off, knowing that he’s perfectly safe right where he is.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SIGHS*
> 
> Guys....
> 
> _Guys......._
> 
> Writing is hard. 
> 
> Me and writing are on not the best terms right now(if my lack of posting ANYTHING in like, over a month is any indication) and this chapter is probably gonna show it. I'm not even remotely satisfied with it, but I felt like if I kept trying(and failing) to come up with something I liked better I'd end up never posting anything ever again, so I'm posting and hoping that I just move the FUCK on and maybe eventually(dear god I hope) get to a place where I can, idk, ACTUALLY FRICKIN' WRITE AGAIN??
> 
> *MORE SIGHS*

Loki feels like he’s being watched. He freezes every time he gets a call or a text, even though it’s always either Thor, Darcy, or Sigyn. It’s all because of that one stupid call, which he should probably be over by now, since it’s been a week and there’s been nothing else. It was probably just a wrong number...

He’s working on an order in the kitchen when his phone buzzes in his back pocket. He stiffens automatically and feels stupid. He pulls his phone out of his pocket just to see who it is and freezes when he sees it’s a text from an unknown number.

A cold sweat breaks out over his skin. He takes a shaky breath as his heart rate shoots up, forcing himself to focus on finishing the couple orders in front of him, sliding the plates out for the newest waiter to take to the table.

Only then does he take his phone back out, unlocking it to see what the text says.

_Loki? it’s Svad_

_can we talk?_

The breath is crushed from his lungs by an invisible vice, his heart hammering and hands shaking as he frantically blocks the number. He sets his phone on the counter and folds forward, face in his hands as he tries to catch his breath.

“Loki?”

He jumps, every hair on his body standing on end as he looks over at the other cook, watching him with concern. “Everything okay?”

Loki rubs the sides of his neck, forces out an uncomfortable laugh as he tries to find an answer. “Yeah, it’s okay,” he lies, voice wobbling.

The cook raises an eyebrow at that. “Okay,” he says after a long moment of consideration, turning back to the grill.

Loki throws all his concentration in to every order that he gets. Anything to keep himself from thinking about the texts.

Before he knows it it’s the end of his shift and he can’t help but eye everything.

He felt like he was being watched before, now it feels like he has something breathing down his goddamn neck.

He goes straight to Thor’s house, even though they weren’t really planning on that tonight, not even thinking to send Thor a text telling him he’s coming with how he can hardly stomach the thought of touching his phone right now.

Needless to say, Thor looked a bit pleasantly surprised as Loki walked up to the front door. His expression quickly falls when he gets a better look at Loki.

As soon as he closes and locks the front door Loki feels like he can breathe again.

“What the matter baby?”

Loki exhales heavily. “He texted me.”

There’s a slight shift in the air, and Loki shivers from it.

“What?”

Loki can feel tears gathering behind his eyes, a ball of hundreds emotions lodging itself inside his throat as he pulls up the texts and pushes his phone blindly at Thor. Thor takes it gently out of his hand and Loki covers his face in his hands, finally able to unleash after hours of holding back.

He feels Thor approach, strong arms looping around him and pulling him close. Loki clings on to him, trembling as he buries his face against Thor’s neck.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Loki lets out a small, anguished noise, breath stuttering. He knots his fingers in to the back of Thor’s shirt. Thor squeezes him lightly, nuzzling in to Loki’s hair.

“Sorry,” he says when he pulls back a few minutes later, when he’s gotten most of the tears out and some of his emotions feel a little steady.

“Don’t be,” Thor whispers, clasping the back of Loki’s neck lightly as he places a kiss on Loki’s forehead.

“I don’t know what to do,” Loki says with a tremble.

Thor sighs, pulling Loki in to another hug. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

Loki melts with relief, sinking gratefully against Thor. “Can I stay over tonight?” Loki breathes against Thor’s collarbone.

“You can stay over whenever you want, you don’t even need to ask.”

Loki sniffles and squeezes his hands, letting out a shuddering breath.

They end up on the couch, laying along the length of it. Loki’s wedged between Thor’s body and the back of it, heaving deep sighs as he listens to Sigyn giving him advice over the phone.

“-I can see if I can get a new place set up, if you-”

Loki flinches, like his mind and body instantly reject the mere idea of running. “No- I don’t want to do that,” he says with conviction.

Thor’s fingers comb through his hair, the tingle in his scalp traveling south and making his muscles relax.

“Okay, so then just try changing your number first, make sure you tell security at your apartment about him, and keep records of everything you can... you still have those numbers for those lawyers, right?”

Loki nods and says, “yeah, I do.”

“You should give them a call and see if what you’ll need to do to get a restraining order set up- even if you can’t right now, it won’t hurt to know.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Are you okay, Loki?”

Loki lets out another sigh, body sagging. Thor lifts his head and kisses Loki’s hair.

“I’m pretty okay right now, actually.”

“That’s good,” she says quietly.

“Thanks Sigyn,” he says after he hears her yawn, “and sorry for waking you up, again.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she replies, “you be safe okay?”

“I will.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Loki ends the call and hands his phone to Thor so he can set it on the coffee table. He settles more heavily into Thor’s side.

“Feeling any better?”

Loki nods. “I’ve got a few calls to make tomorrow morning.”

Thor hums, fingertips swirling around the back of his head. “If you need me to help with anything, just ask.”

Loki nods, eyelids drooping as the last dregs of panic seep out of him and Thor’s fingers keep working their magic in his hair.

“You want to go to bed? You look tired.”

Loki nods again because that’s all the energy he can muster. Thor chuckles softly, kissing the top of Loki’s head before untangling his fingers from Loki’s hair. Loki drags himself up with a lot of help from Thor, holding on to his waist as he shuts off the lights and the television before they shuffle to the bedroom.

He scrunches his nose with a sudden thought. “I could use a shower.”

“Go ahead and take one,” Thor says as he sets the alarm on his phone, plugging it in to the charger and setting it on the nightstand.

“Mmm.” Loki’s nose scrunches again, pressing his forehead to the back of Thor’s neck.

“Do you want me to help you take a shower?” Thor asks with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Mmmm.” A smile pulls at Loki’s mouth. “You did say I could ask for your help for _anything_.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Thor laughs. He turns around so they’re face to face again. He takes Loki’s cheeks in his hands, smiling as he leans in for kiss. “Well then, to the shower...”

Thor guides him in to the bathroom, propping him against the wall next to the towel rack as he starts the water up. Loki watches as he strips down first, tossing his clothes outside the open door before strolling back up to Loki. He smirks, shameless in his nudity as he lets Loki leer. His hands go to the hem of Loki’s shirt first, sliding up the length of his sides before slipping each of Loki’s arms through the sleeves, then pulling it off the rest of the way. Loki lets his weight rest on the wall again, warmth flooding him as Thor’s eyes take him in. He sighs quietly as Thor leans in. Hands on Loki’s hips, he presses his lips to the side of Loki’s throat, working his way up to Loki’s mouth with feather-light kisses that make Loki quiver.

The stress from the day all melt and slip out of his mind with every one of Thor’s touches, his insides going soft.

Thor doesn’t pull away as he unfastens Loki’s jeans. Warm, rough hands slipping under the waistband of his briefs and jeans to push them down his legs. Thor bends slightly, lips falling back on to Loki’s neck while Loki raises one leg at a time to help Thor get them off. They both sigh when they’re finally off, nothing but skin against skin. Their mouth meet again, kissing soft and slow while the bathroom becomes a cloud of steam.

With a hand on the small of Loki’s back, Thor peels him from the wall. He guides them in to the shower stall, closing the foggy glass door and enclosing them in a tiny, warm cave. Hot water beats down Loki’s back and pulls a soft moan from his throat, eyes slipping closed from the relaxation.

Thor reaches forward, and Loki can hear him pull the shower-head from its perch, water splashing against the wall.

“Tip your head,” Thor says, voice a deep whisper.

Loki does, and Thor aims the spray over his hair, wetting every inch with care. He puts the shower-head back in place and reaches for shampoo next, directing Loki to lift his head back up before he begins scrubbing his scalp. Loki purrs, melting deeper in to Thor.

Thor guides Loki’s head back when he deems his hair sufficiently scrubbed, grabbing the shower-head once more to rinse the suds off. Loki can sense the smile on Thor’s face, one of his own appearing as he feels lips flutter up the length of his throat. Thor sets the shower-head back in place again. Thor repeats the whole process with conditioner, humming in approval when he gives Loki’s hair a thorough combing with his fingers.

With a hand still at the nape of his neck he guides Loki to rest his head on one of Thor’s shoulders. Loki sighs, flooded with contentment. His arms wrap loosely around Thor’s waist. Gets lost in the patter of hot water against his back and the slow thump of Thor’s heart against his chest. Thor scrubs him as far as he can reach with a soapy rag, pulling a few giggles out of Loki as he scrubs his armpits. And then they just stand under the spray for a while longer.

“Lets get to bed, baby,” Thor whispers, squeezing Loki’s waist lightly.

Loki hums.

Thor holds him close as he reaches forward to shut the water off. Presses a kiss to Loki’s shoulder before peeling himself off to step out. Loki watches though heavy lidded eyes as Thor gives his body a quick scrub with a towel. He offers Loki a hand when he’s done, helping Loki out of the stall and giving Loki’s the same treatment.

When he’s no longer dripping Thor scoops him up, carrying him the short distance from the bathroom to the bedroom. Loki reaches down and yanks the comforter down before Thor lays him in bed. He climbs in after, the both of them shuffling to fit thier bodies together. They end up spooning. Thor’s arms threaded through the crook of Loki’s neck and wrapped around his waist.

Loki takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. The text is in the back of his mind, but it feels less terrifying. He can handle it.

 

* * *

 

He feels less confident in the morning.

He stares at his phone sitting on Thor’s coffee table, where it had been left all night.

He has calls to make. Thor left the password to his laptop for him this morning before he left for work, and he tracked down all the numbers and instructions he needed.

Now, he just has to make those calls.

He braces himself and moves, snatching his phone up and turning it on in one go.

He lets out a breath with a huff when nothing but a couple missed texts from Darcy show up.

“It’ll be fine,” he tells himself as he goes to reply to her.

 

* * *

 

It’s all quiet in the days after that. Loki has a new number, and he’s given it to the handful of people it matters too. He’s also scoured the internet to see if he can find any traces of his whereabouts floating around, but doesn’t really find much of anything.

It should make him feel better. He’s taken just about every precaution someone can take without going off to live in a hut on top of a mountain.

But he still doesn’t feel secure. He keeps checking the mirrors whenever he drives anywhere. He feels unsettled when he looks out the sliding glass door and at those dark woods that surround his apartment complex.

The nights when he’s not with Thor, he lies awake, wondering if he’s ever gong to feel totally safe.

 

* * *

 

Thor lets out a breath as he sees Loki pull in to his driveway. He hops up from the couch and runs over to the door that leads in to the garage, opening it and pressing the button that opens the door. He puts on a smile that’s much more relaxed than he feels as it lifts and Loki squeezes his car next to Thor’s truck.

Thor spent the last weekend cleaning and reorganizing his entire garage. Moving his weights and tools and tossing away anything that didn’t seem necessary so there would be enough room for Loki to keep his car in it when he came over.

Thor’s not felt nervous or scared much in his life. He’s not sure if that’s just because he’s an alpha or if that’s just him. Either way, he’s never worried about much. He worried about his mom after his dad died, and that’s about it. He’s sure he’s never felt worried about his own safety, never questioned his strength. He doesn’t like to worry. He doesn’t like to dwell on things like that. But he feels Loki’s stress in his bones. He can smell the anxiety rolling off him when they're together. Stress eats at him when they’re apart. A heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach develops in the time between calls and texts from Loki now. He finds himself wondering what he’s supposed to do if Loki _just doesn’t show up_ to his house one day. He’s not used to feeling like this and he _hates_ it. Like he’s just wondering and waiting for something to explode.

But some of the tension bleeds away as Loki climbs out of his car. For now, he doesn’t have to worry. Loki’s here, safe and- well, not _totally_ happy, but Thor will do what he can to help with that.

He swallows Loki up in a hug that he’s been waiting to give Loki all day, relishing in the smile he feels against his neck.

“How was your day?” Thor asks as he pulls Loki inside and shuts the door.

“Okay,” he answers with a little shrug of his shoulders.

“I made dinner.”

“You’re always feeding me.”

“I like taking care of you,” Thor says, giving Loki a nuzzle.

Loki’s smile brightens.

“Oh, and I got you a little present too,” he says as he takes Loki’s hand and leads him to the dining table.

“Did you?”

Thor deposits Loki in one of the chairs, throwing a wink over his shoulder. He grabs a small paper bag from the counter, tossing it to Loki before putting a plate of food together for him. Loki gives it a quizzical look before peering inside and pulling out the brand new key Thor had made today.

Thor feels the heat rising in his cheeks as he finishes serving up dinner for the both of them and sitting down.

“Is this...?”

“I want you to be able to come over any time you want, even if I’m still at work,” Thor explains as Loki’s voice trails off.

Loki grips the key in the palm of his hand. Shoulders relaxing as a soft smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever again, but unlike last time, I'm feeling pretty damn good about this chapter!! (wooo progress wooo)

Dr. Romanov steals a look at her watch after the conversation trails off. They’d gone over the whole text situation, how he’s been dealing with it and planning what he might do if it continued or escalated. Loki was feeling pretty okay, all things considered. “We still have fifteen minutes, is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

Loki exhales with a quiet whoosh. He looks down at his hands as he wrung them in his lap, chewing on his lip as he thought.

“I keep trying to think of some way to thank Thor for being here for me,” Loki says, “but I can’t really think of anything... it’s not like I have much money to spend, and Thor’s not even really into stuff...”

“Hmm,” Dr. Romanov nods her head, “Why not make him his favorite food?”

Loki shrugs. “We already have dinner together all the time though...”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t make it a bit more special.”

 

* * *

 

Thor’s eyebrows rise as Loki opens the door to let him in, smile broadening as he eyes the candles Loki bought on his way home from Dr. Romanov’s office.

“What’s all this?” he asks, a hand resting lightly on Loki’s waist and drawing him closer after he shuts the door.

Loki shrugs and hopes that the dim lighting will hide the blush that’s probably coloring his cheeks right now.

“Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Need any help?”

Shaking his head as he makes his way back to his tiny kitchen, he replies, “I’ve got it, go ahead and get comfortable.”

Thor meanders over to the futon and plops down.

Loki brings over a couple of beers first, smiling as Thor’s eyes linger on him. He gets the food together on a couple plates next, doing his best to make it look nice. He bites his lip as he sets it down in front of Thor, feeling satisfied as Thor expression brightens even more.

“Ooh, my favorite!”

Loki settles in beside him, resisting the urge to stare as Thor goes in for his first bite. He can’t help but beam though when Thor lets out a satisfied groan.

“Good?”

“Amazing,” he says, planting a kiss on Loki’s cheek after he swallows.

They spend a couple minutes eating quietly, before Thor asks “so, everything went okay with Dr. Romanov today?”

“Yeah, actually. She helped me kind of write out some plans in case I get more texts.”

“That’s good.”

The quiet lingers between them as Loki tries to put the right words together in his head. Nothing feels like it's enough. Maybe he should wait for dessert to say something.

Thor stuffs the last few bites in to his mouth with a final groan of satisfaction. Setting the plate back on the coffee table, he slumps back against the futon, drummng his fingers over his stomach. “Something on our mind, babe?”

Well, of course he would notice.

Loki laughed at himself, running a hand over his face. “It’s silly.”

“I like silly.”

Loki set his plate aside too, crawling closer and plastering himself against Thor’s side.

“I just... wanted to find some way to thank you for ... being you, I guess?” He steals a glance back at their plates. “This is all I could think of.” He smiled shyly, shoulder twitching up in a small shrug.

“Aww, Loki.” Thor’s arms wound around him tightly, smiling lips pressing in to Loki's temple.

Loki laughs and squirms as Thor’s lips travel down the side of his face and neck, smacking along his skin until his face is planted in the crook of his shoulder. His arms loosen, running his hands up and down Loki’s spine. Loki sinks in to the embrace, pressing his nose against Thor's hair and inhaling Thor’s scent until warmth and relaxation fill him from head to toe. He trails a hand up Thor’s chest and along his neck, pulling the elastic from his hair to tangle his fingers in it. Thor groans and lifts his head, his gaze heady as it meets Loki's.

Loki's grip on Thor's hair tightens, and Thor's breath catches in response. He moves to straddle Thor’s lap, every move slow. Thor let out a sigh as Loki settled his weight on his thighs, his hands slipping under Loki’s shirt to hold on to his waist. Loki closes the space between them, eyelids growing heavier as their lips meet. He rocks his hips, the heat rising between his thighs and in his belly while Thor's hands roam under his shirt.

Loki pauses as he gets an idea, pulling back. Thor’s eyes flutter open and a look of confusion crosses his face. Loki smirks, climbing off his lap to kneel on the floor. Thor catches on quick, parting his thighs so Loki can fit between them as the corners of his lips rise. Loki begins working his jeans open, looking up at Thor through his lashes. Thor let out another groan, smiling softly as he pushes his hips forward. Loki tugs the denim out of his way as much as he can, carefully pulling his cock free of his boxers. He gives it a few light strokes first, humming as he feels it thicken and harden. Loki keeps his eyes on Thor as he wets his lips and leans in, brushing a soft kiss on the head of his cock.

Thor rumbles, blue eyes darkening. He reaches forward slowly as Loki takes him in to his mouth, gentle hands pushing Loki’s hair back from his face and rough thumbs brushing along his cheekbones. Loki inhales deeply through his nose before he he starts bobbing his head, Thor's alpha scent filling his nose and making him shiver with his own need. He sinks down Thor’s cock slowly at first, savoring and adjusting to the weight of it while Thor pants and lets out soft, needy sounds above him. Loki closes his eyes and relaxes in to a steady rhythm while Thor keeps playing with his hair. It only helps to add to the tingling pleasure running up and down Loki’s spine.

Loki reaches down to release his own aching cock from the clutches of his tight jeans, his fingers instantly diving in for the wet folds of his cunt. He moans softly, voice muffled around Thor’s cock. Thor groans Loki’s name, thick and deep from his chest, hands faltering.

Loki’s head keeps bobbing faster, his eyes fluttering open to see that Thor seems to be fighting to keep his own from closing. His chest rises and falls with each rapid breath, muscles straining. Loki is bombarded by all sorts of thoughts and can’t hold back a whimper as he pushes his fingers deep inside himself while his mind screams for more.

“Loki,” Thor rumbles, and Loki shakes from it. Thor pulls him off his cock, pushing forward to sit on the edge of the futon while guiding Loki to his feet. Thor catches Loki by the waist when his knees wobble and threaten to collapse, his smile soft and amused as Loki manages to steady himself.

Loki lets out a breathless laugh that turns in to a moan when Thor leans forward to press a kiss on his belly, right beside his cock. His hands move lower, tugging at the waistband of Loki's jeans and pushing them and his underwear down his legs while Loki hangs on to his shoulders. Loki lets out a breathless laugh when Thor has to press his face hard against Loki’s belly while he helps pull the tight jeans off completely. Thor pulls back, their eyes meeting in the candlelit darkness. There’s no urgency as Loki pulls his top off, or when Thor stands and strips off his own clothes.

“Bedroom?”

Loki smiles and nods, blowing out the candles before letting Thor swallow him up in his arms again. Thor lifts one of Loki's legs and winds it around his hip and Loki takes the cue to do the same with the other and hang on to Thor’s shoulders. Loki can’t help but let out a snort of laughter as Thor walks to his bedroom and his bed while being able to barely see over Loki’s shoulder. Thor laughs too, and presses a quick kiss to his neck before dropping Loki unceremoniously on to his springy mattress. He lands with his arms and legs sprawled and giggling, and Thor takes the invitation with out hesitation, crawling between his thighs and kissing his way back to Loki’s waiting mouth. He lays down on top of Loki gently, sliding their cocks together slowly as they devour each others mouths.

A thought passes through Loki’s mind, a smirk smothered under Thor’s lips. He pushes up and Thor follows, falling on to his back while Loki straddles his hips. He lowers down slowly, relishing in the way Thor’s gaze and breathing falters when his cunt presses against the underside of his cock. Rocking his hips, Loki strokes his own cock. He feels himself getting wetter with every pass of his hand, feeling a deep throb of desire in his hips. Beneath him, Thor lets out a soft whine, his hands sliding up and down Loki’s thighs. Loki pushes himself up on his knees, biting his lip and planting a hand on Thor’s chest for balance as he reaches between his legs and guides Thor’s cock to his entrance. He moans as he slides down the length of it, going perfectly still when he has every inch of it settled inside him.

Thor’s grip on his hip borders on crushing, trying to force his eyes open after losing the fight of letting them close. His grip falters when Loki begins to move, squeezing and loosening in an odd rhythm.

“So good,” Loki breathes in to the air. Thor lets out a strained grunt of agreement.

“Come here,” Loki orders in a whisper, reaching for Thor’s hair and giving it a tug.

Thor surges up, their chests colliding right before their mouths do. Thor’s hands keep a tight grip on Loki’s ass as he shifts them in to a better position. Loki moves his legs to wrap them around Thor's waist. Fully cradled in Thor's lap, his cock seems to reach even deeper in to Loki and he whimpers. Grabbing on to the back of Thor’s hair tightly, he starts grinding on to Thor frantically. Thor holds Loki with one had at the small of his back, the other roaming and coming to a stop to tease at his nipples until Loki can’t hold back a small cry. Head thrown back, Thor takes it as an invitation, his mouth latching on to a delicate patch of skin along the side of Loki’s throat.

Loki lets out a small, choked off sound, every part of his body rigid save for his hips, which can’t stop their frantic movement. All of it at once is almost too much. Thor moans as he slides his mouth over to a new patch of skin, one right at his scent gland. Loki wants to beg for it, but the words are all stuck in his throat, mind too gone with need at the moment. Thor sucks on the skin there at first, using both hands to guide Loki’s hips in to a real rhythm. Then, right as he has Loki completely speared on his cock, he feels the pinch of teeth. An orgasm crashes violently over Loki. The bite isn't hard enough to break the skin and make Loki his mate - he’d need to be in heat for that to happen anyway - but it sends a tingling, fizzy feeling through his body anyway. Thor turns them back over before he’s even felt the last waves of it, moving Loki’s limp, heavy limbs in to position before thrusting with his own frenetic need.

Loki whimpers, his body hot and sensitive. He pants hard, reaching up to touch Thor with trembling hands. He cranes his neck, turning his head to the side where Thor left his little love bites. He can feel Thor’s eyes on him, and how the move makes him fuck in to Loki even harder. Loki savors the feelings washing over him, eyes fluttering open to take in the look of determination and need plain of his face.

His expression tightens, and with a few more hard thrusts, he spills.

Thor relaxes on top of Loki with a strained moan, his mouth caressing the side of Loki’s neck while Loki wraps his trembling limbs around Thor. They lay there and catch their breath before Thor slowly himself peels off of Loki. They shuffle their way up the bed and settle under the thin blanket together. Loki lets out a deep, contented sigh when he has Thor plastered to his back. His lips refuse to stop smiling, the gentle buzzing from the love-bite Thor gave him still echoing through his body.

“Was that okay?” Thor asks in a whisper, his thumb ghosting over the spot he bit.

Loki, eyes closed, nods his head. His smile spreads wider when Thor nuzzles his face in to the back of his hair with a pleased rumble. His arm winds around Loki’s waist, a heavy, comforting weight. His hand comes to rest on Loki’s chest, pulling him in as close as possible and their legs tangle together.

Loki begins to dose off, mind blissfully free of worry.

Thor whispers, “do you think I can be your mate someday?”

It takes a moment for the words to register, and another for Loki comprehend them fully. When they do, Loki’s breath catches.

His eyes burn and a couple hot tears slip out. He’s not sure why the question shocks him, but it does. Everything they've been doing seems to be _obviously_ leading to that outcome, but in the back of Loki's mind it still seemed to not be a possibility.

He turns over to face Thor, sees the look of trepidation on his face, and dives forward hoping that Thor will get his answer through the ferocity of his kiss. Thor’s hold on him is light through it, hands resting on his back, while Loki hangs on to Thor’s face as though he was about to float away. He’s so happy that he might, actually.

When Loki pulls back, they’re both gasping for air.

“Is that a yes?” Thor chuckles, wiping an errant tear off Loki’s face with his thumb.

“Yeah,” Loki says with a burst of laughter.

Thor pulls him back in for another kiss, keeping Loki close.

Their lips pop softly as Loki pulls away with a smirk. “I got dessert too, you know?”

Thor lets out a rumbling hum, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Mm, I like dessert.”

“Whipped cream too.”

Thor's eyebrow arches. “To go with dessert?”

“Sort of,” Loki says with a teasing wink, pushing himself out of bed and dodging Thor's hands as Thor growls playfully at him.

 

* * *

 

Loki smiles at the pair of customers walking past as he walks back from serving another table their order. They were having a bit of a late lunch rush that day, and they were once again short-staffed, (the young omega that had been working at the diner for a bit over a month stopped showing up, something that Loki wished he wouldn’t think so hard about) meaning Loki was stuck working as server for the time being.

The bell at the front door chimes as the other costumers leave, chiming again seconds later. Loki looks up and starts saying hello automatically.

But the greeting dies in his throat, his stomach dropping to his feet.

It’s Svadilfari.

His scent is what truly hits him first. So familiar. So many years of memories. So many bad memories. The rest of him slowly drips in to focus. His hair is shorter than Loki remembers, loose, dark curls falling around his forehead and ears. The rest of him is the same, though: Tall, broad and strong. Bile rises up the back of his throat as his legs become weak and threaten to collapse beneath him. He moves back as Svad steps closer.

“Loki,” he says, breathless and smiling. “Sweetheart, I've missed you so much.”

At some point, Loki would’ve loved seeing that look on Svad’s face. He would’ve done anything and everything to try to keep it there, but he knows better now. He knows how thin and fake that smile is, how it falls so easily even when Loki has twisted himself in to knots to try and please him.

Loki backs in to one of the costumers sitting at the counter, an older gentleman who looks a bit peeved about Loki bumping in to him, but he seems to grasp the off-ness of situation quick enough. He waves over the other server as he turns around from where he’s been making coffee.

“You’ve been ignoring my calls,” Svad says, voice so disgustingly sweet and innocent. “I just want to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk,” Loki says as Svad comes closer, his voice trembling and pathetically weak. Panic sets in as Svad comes closer, heart pounding and hands shaking as he shuffles along the counter, trying to find the opening to get behind it so he can have something solid between him and Svad.

Svad’s sweet facade begins to crumble. Some of the softness in his eyes disappears and his jaw tenses, dark brows furrowing. His eyes dart around the full diner and his nostrils flare.

He flinches as he feels a hand on his arm, letting out his breath in a rush as he realizes it’s Darcy pulling him back.

“Sir, you’re going to have to leave,” she says forcefully.

Svad eyes her, his smile falling away and leaving a sneer in it's wake. “What, I can’t talk to my mate?”

“As far as I know, you're not his mate,” she replies with an edge of forced brightness. “So, if you'll just leave...”

Svad's eyes narrow dangerously at her, squaring his shoulders and looming over them despite the (far too short) distance. “Excuse me?”

“Please leave, or I'll call the cops,” she says with tight smile as she drags Loki. His wobbling legs follow as fast as they can, heartbeat going wild as Svad keeps following. Things go fuzzy around him, and he’s distantly aware of the slight chaos taking over the diner, the other server hopping over the counter to get to the owner's office while a couple costumers stand from their seats.

Darcy drags him back in to the kitchen, pushing him in to the break room and locking the door behind them.

It takes a few seconds for the reality to settle in. It crashes on his shoulders when it does. His legs give up and fold under him and he collapses to the floor hard despite Darcy’s best effort to slow him down. Tears make the world a blur and he hears a muffled crash and a growl that makes him whimper. Darcy hovers near him, her voice soft as she speaks to someone on the phone.

His mind jolts with a thought. Thor. He needs Thor. He fumbles for his phone, feeling around his pockets and his apron.

“My phone...”

Darcy looks at him, eyes darting to his shaking hands before pinning her phone between her ear and shoulder to pull it out of the pocket of his apron. His breath shakes as he goes to his contacts and calls Thor, flinching when he hears more of the ruckus outside. The phone rings and rings, and Loki sobs when it goes to voice mail.

“He found me, he came to the diner and-and-” He lets out a loud sob. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

* * *

 

Thor’s hands tremble on the wheel, using every bit of his control to keep his focus on the road and keeping his foot from turning to lead on the gas pedal as he drives to the diner. He’d left his phone in his truck and had only heard Loki’s message when he’d gone to his truck during a break. Over an hour _after_ Loki had left the message.

Panic had seized his throat as he heard Loki's broken, and he’d left work without another thought or word. He couldn’t think beyond getting to Loki, every one of his alpha instincts going in to overdrive as he drove relentlessly to that goal.

He spots Loki’s car still in the parking lot as he pulls in, and a lone police cruiser. He makes a halfhearted effort of parking, his truck clearly taking up more than one space, but he couldn’t fucking care- He jumps out and makes a beeline for the entrance, almost making it to the stairs before Darcy pops out.

“Around the back,” she says, jerking her head.

Thor nods, and holds back on breaking out in to sprint going around the side of the building. He goes up to the back entrance and give the heavy door a hard knock, forced to step back as it swings open and he’s greeted by a police officer on the other side of it. He’s so keyed up that he tenses at the scent of him, another alpha, even though he knows he’s definitely not the one Thor wants to get his hands on right now.

But he ignores the officer entirely when Loki’s stricken face comes in to view, and his arms instantly open as Loki lunges for him. He feels a surge of relief with the weight of Loki in his arms, though he doesn’t relax since he can feel the anxiety rolling off Loki.

The both of them flinch as the officer taps Loki on the shoulder. Even though he keeps a respectful distance, Thor feels anger rearing up anyway, his grip on Loki tightening as he does his best to not level the officer with a death-glare.

He hands Loki a card and says, “call this number if he comes around again, alright?”

Loki nods, taking the card before folding his arms against his chest and tucking himself back against Thor. The officer leaves without another word, which is good since Thor doesn’t know how civil he can manage being around any other alphas right now.

He hugs Loki tighter as the door shuts. Loki’s shoulders shake with a whimper, and Thor’s heart crumbles. He holds Loki and lets him cry, giving himself a chance to calm down enough to think a bit more clearly.

He pushes Loki back enough to look at Loki’s face and asks, “what happened?”

“He just... walked in,” he says, voice rough and shivering all over, “acting all sweet and saying he wanted to talk to me.”

“He got mad when Darcy told him to leave and pulled me away, and he apparently hit a few people and managed to get away before the police showed up, so now I guess I have to... I don't know, wait and see what happens next.”

Thor pulls Loki back to his chest, running his hand up and down his spine.

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

Loki nods against his shoulder, gasping out a small “yes.”

He leads him back out to the front, holding Loki’s shaking hand in his as he leads them to the front of the building. “Do you want to take your car?” he asks, pausing mid-step and eyeing Loki's car.

Loki shakes his head, eyes darting all over the place. Thor lets out a sigh of relief, glad to not be separated for a moment longer than absolutely necessary.

He lets go of Loki's hand as they approach his truck and he goes over to the driver’s side, taking Loki’s hand back as soon as their both settled inside. Loki’s whole body seems to release, the trembling in his limbs lessening.

Thor takes a deep breath, bringing Loki’s hand to his lips to kiss it.

They both jump when his phone rings in his pocket. Thor grumbles, digging it out of his front pocket with the wrong hand since he refuses to let go of Loki’s and sees that it’s his foreman. He cringes, realizing that in his rush to get to Loki he hadn’t even thought to tell anyone where he was going or why he was in such a rush to leave in the middle of a workday.

“Sorry,” he answers as Heimdall says “you left fast.”

“Yeah,” Thor sighs, “it was an emergency.”

“Everything alright?”

Thor sighs again, stroking the back of Loki’s hand with his thumb. “It’s... quiet right now.”

Heimdall hums on the other end.

“I’m gonna have to take the rest of the day, but I’ll come around to get my tools and sign off on my time sheets.”

“Okay, do you think you'll be in tomorrow then?”

Thor glances over to Loki, and finds him looking off in the distance, gaze vacant. “I’m not sure right now, but I’ll call you when I do.”

“Alright then, see you in a bit.”

“Yeah.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Thor drops his phone in his lap, looking at Loki before drawing Loki’s attention back with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

“I need to go pick up my tools, but then we can go back to your place-”

“Can we go to yours?” Loki asks in a rush, jaw clicking shut as though thinking better of asking like that.

Thor smiles, planting another kiss to the back of his hand. “Of course, baby.”

Loki exhales, shoulders dropping while the corner of his mouth twitches.

Thor reluctantly lets go of Loki’s hand to start the truck, and Loki leans over the center console to hug his arm and rest his head against his shoulder.

Loki looks nervous again as Thor pulls in to the job site, going still while Thor parks the car, but keeps it running.

“I’ll be quick,” he says as he leans in to give Loki a quick kiss.

Thor strolls over to where he left his tools, and Fandral notices him, eyebrows raised. “Everything okay?”

“Loki’s ex found him,” he replies, resisting the urge to grind his teeth.

Fandral's face twists in sympathy. “That’s not good. Is he okay?”

“He’s freaked out,” he answers and starts picking up his things. “But he didn’t ... _do_ anything, really, not to Loki.”

“That’s good,” his friend says with a quick nod of his head. He looks at Thor, head tilting. “What are you gonna do?”

Thor pauses. A few thoughts flash through his mind that send that panic and anger surging back in full force. He grips the handle of a mallet more tightly than necessary. “Well, I'm just hoping that next time he tries getting at Loki he does it when I’m close by.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
